To think the flowers should be cancelled?

[FairfaxAikman]

My DGF (in his 90s) has had a massive stroke yesterday and won't survive - we are basically marking the hours at this point.
But it's let to a bit of a disagreement between me and my DF.

My grandparents 64th wedding anniversary is next week. DGF has ordered flowers, as he has every year.
I think they should be cancelled as receiving them so soon would destroy my DGM, who is in poor health herself.
DF thinks they should be left as it's what DGF wants.

AIBU to think it's a bad idea?

I think it’s lovely for her to know he was thinking about her before he took unwell.

I would still want flowers from my husband! Don't cancel them! I'd be so upset if someone cancelled my gift.

I don't really think its your business to cancel your grandfather's last gift to his wife.

I think it’s lovely, but you should tell her Inadvance so it’s not a shock when they turn up

Difficult one , I’d cancel if it were me but you’ve had your say and it’s probably not worth causing an argument with your dad at this time . Sorry about your grandad. 💐

It's heartbreaking and hard to have an opinion without knowing any of you, especially your DGM but my instinct would be to have the flowers be delivered. Nothing is going to make her feel worse, but to know that right until the end her husband thought of her might be a comfort. I'd want them if they were from my DH and they'd be the most special flowers he'd ever given me. I'm really sorry you're all going through this.

@Parmavioletgin1

I don't really think its your business to cancel your grandfather's last gift to his wife.

This with enormous fucking bells on

Your DF (assume father) stands even closer to them that you do. It's his call, not yours

My mum has a birthday present put away for me when she died. It was only a pair of shoes but they’re still in the box in my wardrobe. Only concern is that the flowers will die.

@SinkGirl

My mum has a birthday present put away for me when she died. It was only a pair of shoes but they’re still in the box in my wardrobe. Only concern is that the flowers will die.

I thought that too. She could press one. Heartbreaking x

It would be an appalling thing to cancel the poor man's last gift to his wife. And it's definitely not your place to interfere.
Your grandmother will cherish the thought that he was thinking of her right up to the end.

@Parmavioletgin1

I don't really think its your business to cancel your grandfather's last gift to his wife.

This. Definitely. They will be the last flowers she receives from her husband.

Sorry you are going through this OP.

I’m sorry for what you are going through, but you should not be cancelling anything it’s not up to you. You Grandfather wants your grandmother to have them and obviously ordered them in advance for their special day so they mean a lot to him.

Not your decision and she will already be heartbroken but not your place to decide how she will feel about the flowers.

I don't think it's for you to cancel them. I would find it so much more painful to know somebody had intervened to prevent me from receiving a final intended gift from my loved one.

Losing someone is what causes the pain. Trying to pretend the person was never there doesn't make it go away.

Do you think it will be harder her having them or not? He was thinking of her every day like he has for 64 years or he forgot this year. I really don't think you should butt in, sorry. Be there to support her but these are the last flowers she'll ever get from him. Offer to dry or press one for her. Don't take away his last gift

Well we rather expected my 95 year old mother to die after a massive stroke 18 months ago - she is still here, so you might juts be jumping the gun rather.

No, don't cancel, you have absolutely no right to do so and risk taking away a small pleasure.

YABU, definitely don’t cancel.

Sorry to hear about your DGF. Your DGM is going to be grieving and upset anyway, as long as the flowers don’t come as a shock or surprise to her then it will be lovely for her to have a last gift from him, of course they are likely to make her cry but so will many other things in the coming weeks but that wouldn’t make getting flowers a bad thing.
My MIL has just died, she had done all of her Christmas shopping fully understanding that she may not be here to give people the presents. At some point before Christmas we will have to sort, wrap and distribute the gifts, it will be a difficult job but we’ll do it because we know it was very important to her.

I am eternally single. Think most people compromise and see a lot of heartbreak on here and in real life.

Do. Not. Cancel. The. Flowers.

She will treasure these for the rest of her life. They will be the most wonderful gift.

My MIL ordered me a birthday present just before she died, two days before my birthday. When it arrived I felt a little bit sad but very, very touched that she had been thinking of her family until the end. She's also ordered dds birthday gift to come a month later. As someone else said, most special presents ever and I think these flowers should arrive as planned.

Sorry to hear your sad news though x

Don’t cancel them! She’s going to be devastated regardless, I think getting flowers as usual from him would be comforting that he was still thinking of her.

I think it would be a wonderful reminder of how much she was loved by her husband!
He ordered them he wanted her to have them not your decision!

When he died my grandad still had a rose he was given at the end of my grandma's funeral. Flowers can be dried and kept.

I still have a blank birthday card my mum had picked out for me but not lived long enough to give me.

These things are painful but comforting and a connection to the people we love and have lost.

Don't cancel. It's their anniversary ritual, how cruel to take it away from her.

No to cancelling from me as well.