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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby class changing goalposts late notice

54 replies

EnglishRain · 05/12/2020 06:27

I've just seen an email stating that only one parent can attend this one off Christmas themed baby class.

Back story is that this was booked before lockdown, and at the Halloween one two parents were able to attend. After booking, but before payment, lockdown happened. A week ago they said it could go ahead and we had to pay ASAP to secure our place.

At 10pm last night I get an email saying only one of us can go, and it's on Sunday morning. It's an hour's drive away on one of my DH's two days off. It's also more than twice the price of a 'normal' class because it is Christmas themed. Apparently we can't have a refund because it's too short notice, but I feel the goalposts have moved significantly. DH doesn't want to go on his own (has Aspergers and says he would be very anxious) ) and I go to the normal version of this class regularly anyway...

YABU - suck it up
YANBU - push for money back

OP posts:
SquishSquashSqueeze · 05/12/2020 06:30

Did you not notice a little virus going around? YABU

WitchesHoof · 05/12/2020 06:32

YABU
are any baby classes allowing more than one parent?! It's not the end of the world, suck it up and get over yourself.

Pumpertrumper · 05/12/2020 06:32

YANBU

Email them this! Say ‘due to disability and medical conditions it isn’t possible for just one of us to attend and we specifically booked this class because we were both able to come. Whilst I understand you have had to now change the goal posts it’s made us unable to come. I look forward to receiving a full refund and would remind you that in our situation refusing to refund will be interpreted as discrimination’.

sunnysidegold · 05/12/2020 06:34

I think you have a case for asking for a refund, but I also appreciate their decision to change the numbers attending. As it's to do with covid I'd not be too mad with them though - it's just one of those things that's been affected.

We've all had loads of things cancelled or changed this year, you have to decide just if you want yourself to go. I'm sure it's not a long session, why don't the three off you head there, you and baby do the class then all head for a walk it nice lunch nearby. Make the most if it.

I don't think either of you are unreasonable!

Original poster
EnglishRain · 05/12/2020 06:38

@WitchesHoof the reason it's an hour away is because it's at a venue which was allowed more people. Our normal venue is 15 mins away. The Halloween version was allowed two adults with each baby. The normal classes only one adult can go, and they're on a day DH works.

OP posts:
Pumpertrumper · 05/12/2020 06:41

I 100% support the ‘there is a virus...etc’ lord knows my DH is an intensive care Dr so our house has been massively impacted by covid since day one!

It is NOT however an excuse for people to be done out of money. If events are significantly changed/ cancelled due to covid (which the event organisers were aware was an issue when they arranged the event) then YES you are entitled to either a partial or full refund if the new circumstances don’t fit you!

Just apply it to other situations I’m aware of which have happened in the part few months.

  • Booked and payed for a 30 person wedding. ‘Advice’ changes a week before and only 15 allowed. YES you should get half that money back it’s not your fault it changed and the venue is now only providing half the services it was before.
  • Baby sensory class booked and paid for (6 sessions total). Suddenly moved online due to lockdown. Rural mum doesn’t have facility to join as DH WFH on the only laptop.

YES they should get a refund. They signed up to go in person if it’s not happening they deserve their money back!

I think covid has created a very weird situation in which ‘customer service’ has kinda morphed into this ‘well covid...no you can’t have your money back’ and that’s NOT ok! It’s 100% just going to result in people being massively over cautious to spend because of bad experiences with small/medium companies refusing refunds.

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/12/2020 06:50

It’s being held at a different venue to allow for more people. Yet more people are not allowed to attend. I therefore don’t understand why it is not being held at the regular venue. I also think you can use the disability explanation.

MakeMineALarge1 · 05/12/2020 06:54

Why can't you go on your own?

Original poster
EnglishRain · 05/12/2020 07:00

@MakeMineALarge1 I could go on my own. But it's four times as far away, nearly three times the price for a shorter session, and my baby hates the car seat so DH will have to come anyway but stay sat in the car. Feels like a waste of the best part of three hours of one of his two days off this week. Xmas day and Boxing Day are also his days off, he can't take annual leave in December so days off are particularly valuable this month. I wouldn't have paid a week ago to confirm our place had I known I would have to go by myself.

OP posts:
AnguaResurgam · 05/12/2020 07:03

Perhaps you could go on your own, and DH could stay at home?

He could look into changing which days he has booked as leave (not 'wasting' half a day's leave will take quite a lot of the sting out)

You could also try to get a partial refund, or ask for a total one as soon as your place is re-sold

@Mummyoflittledragon - the "more" probably means more babies? Then add in a reluctance generally to risk being a spreading event just before Christmas.

Original poster
EnglishRain · 05/12/2020 07:04

@Pumpertrumper you are right. I'm already weighing up whether to book next term or not now for the same reason...although baby classes are so incredibly hard to come by it's a gamble. The only reason I do this class is to get me out of the house and doing something.

OP posts:
satnighttakeaway · 05/12/2020 07:06

@Mummyoflittledragon

It’s being held at a different venue to allow for more people. Yet more people are not allowed to attend. I therefore don’t understand why it is not being held at the regular venue. I also think you can use the disability explanation.
The more people presumably means more babies not more adults with the same number of babies as the normal class

How does the baby know that it's a Christmas class? Is it actually for the parents, I'm trying to decide what thebest thing to do is given its so far to travel, what would the baby gain from the 2 hours travel time 9

AnguaResurgam · 05/12/2020 07:06

x-post with your last

What sort of cost are we talking about here, btw - £12 going to £35, or £1.50 going to £4?

PotteringAlong · 05/12/2020 07:06

It you can only have 1 parent normally I don’t know why you would have assumed you could have 2 this time, just because you could have 2 at something that happened 8 weeks ago. Lockdown has happened and tiers have changed since then! I think this is your fault for not thinking it through, not theirs.

Oblomov20 · 05/12/2020 07:08

I agree with Pumper, that there is literally no reason for them to do this at such short notice.

Demitri · 05/12/2020 07:09

I’d normally say YABU but because they cha get the rules after you paid, they should offer you a refund.

Go with Pumpertrumper message

Clockstop · 05/12/2020 07:11

Husband sits in the car with a book.

happylittlechick · 05/12/2020 07:13

I have to feel for the people that run this. They will have been told by either the government or venue that they have to limit adults. This is their livelihood and if everyone goes around asking for refunds they have no income. Especially when they have little time to fill your space.

Original poster
EnglishRain · 05/12/2020 07:23

Interesting replies. LO and I also have this class at the normal venue on Monday, the only reason for booking this extra one on tomorrow was so DH could come.

I've contacted the organisation to ask if I am allowed to 'give' my place away to a friend instead. Not sure if they need notice for that or not, but at least then we can do something altogether tomorrow instead without feeling like I've set fire to a tenner.

OP posts:
satnighttakeaway · 05/12/2020 07:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

satnighttakeaway · 05/12/2020 07:26

Oops, somehow posted on ththe wrong thread Grin

Laurargh · 05/12/2020 07:27

I wish I had any baby classes to go to. You may not realise how incredibly lucky you are, it is really lonely being a FTM at the moment and I'm very worried about my baby not seeing any others.
If I were you I wouldn't hesitate to go.

insancerre · 05/12/2020 07:28

Just go on your own
I don’t understand all the drama

Original poster
EnglishRain · 05/12/2020 07:30

@Laurargh

I've got PND and am under the perinatal mental health team with twice weekly home visits. Are you envious of that too? Thought not.

OP posts:
Laurargh · 05/12/2020 07:37

To be honest with you, I do wish I could speak to someone. I'm on a waiting list to see my GP since September and when I tried calling HV again this week they fobbed me off before I could speak about my issues. I'm completely lost. I'm sorry you've got so much on though, and that this baby class issue has made it worse. This is an awfully lonely time for us all and I'm sorry if my post upset you.

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