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Original poster

Dates makes poor effort

79 replies

sharonJJ55 · 04/12/2020 23:22

So met this date today (in the park) we got on well & agreed to another date. We've been messaging tonight and he says he's got a nice bottle of wine to share with me...sounds good to me I say and then it comes....."cool let me know when you're free and I'll bring it over." Turns out he lives with flats mates. So once again I'm expected to provide the place to go. And what's with inviting himself over? Surely it's gentlemanly to invite me to his or out on a date? Is that too much to ask???

OP posts:
Breastfeedingworries · 04/12/2020 23:27

Isn’t it a bit soon for visiting where you live?

wheretonow123 · 04/12/2020 23:30

Yes,
He should be wooing you a bit more than that.

Would he be expecting "after" once the bottle is empty or will he go on his merry way home?

Original poster
sharonJJ55 · 04/12/2020 23:31

Yes I think so and where has the timeline in dating gone?! Men don't seem to want to "date" anymore, they just want to be lazy and come round to your home, not even inviting you to theirs!

At the very least I don't think he's allowed to come into my home under tier 2 Covid rules

OP posts:
Rainbowqueeen · 04/12/2020 23:33

Way too soon for him to know where you live. Safety first. A decent guy would understand this.
I’d say sorry that doesn’t work for me and see what he says. If his response makes you uncomfortable just block and delete

Original poster
sharonJJ55 · 04/12/2020 23:35

@Rainbowqueeen yeah I agree. It's the pure laziness that gets me. Not only does he not invite me out on a proper date but then he's inviting himself round to mine (rather than inviting me to his). I don't think he's even allowed round according to tier 2 rules. But it's a cheap easy date for them huh🙄

OP posts:
SimplyRadishing · 04/12/2020 23:37

Bin him off.
Honestly if this is the impressing you phase I can't wait to hear what comes after.

HollowTalk · 04/12/2020 23:41

He's thinking, "Walk in the park, a fiver on a bottle of wine from the offy, and a shag on her sofa."

If the shag goes well, he'll want to move in.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 04/12/2020 23:42

That's not a date it's a booty call. You're worth more than that OP, just block him.

baumwolle · 04/12/2020 23:43

In fairness, what is he supposed to do when he lives with flatmates and you don't? Surely it's a reasonable assumption that you'd rather stay at yours instead of hanging out with random flatmates!

Mycircusmymonkey · 04/12/2020 23:46

Erm yeah someone is after a shag. Not really laziness per se just a very obvious setting himself up for a night on your sofa and hoping to get lucky.

katy1213 · 04/12/2020 23:51

Think you need to pitch a bit higher to grown-ups with their own accommodation.

Original poster
sharonJJ55 · 04/12/2020 23:57

@baumwolle he doesnt even know I live alone. He didn't ask my living arrangements on the date. I guess he'd just rather I do the entertaining

@Mycircusmymonkey really?! I think it's pure laziness. Just a bottle of wine he already has and a night at mine. No effort required to impress or make it a proper date

OP posts:
Original poster
sharonJJ55 · 05/12/2020 00:02

@katy1213 chance would be fine thing! I wish I knew where all these adult eligible men were

OP posts:
catlovingdoctor · 05/12/2020 00:05

@katy1213 it must be lovely to not be at the mercy of a hideously expensive housing market and not need to lower yourself to consorting with people who have to gasp share houses and flats!

katy1213 · 05/12/2020 00:06

Well, stick to your standards, anyway. If they get away with thinking that a bottle of Blossom Hill = a shag, they'll never learn!

Lockheart · 05/12/2020 00:09

Lots of adults houseshare - it's not something to be looked down upon Hmm

It's also a bit hard to do proper dates at the moment what with covid.

Frankly you don't seem that into him so I'd politely decline and move on.

Amerimoon · 05/12/2020 00:20

I’d just laugh it off, along the lines of “Funny! Can’t wait to see what you have planned for our next date! Had fun today 😁” and see what he says.

Groovinpeanut · 05/12/2020 01:05

So a walk around the park and he's brought some Lambrini, and he's going to share it round at yours?

Set your bar higher. He's a CF!

popsydoodle4444 · 05/12/2020 01:26

@sharonJJ55

What does he think?,half a bottle of echo falls and your game for a shag?;he could have at least offered to pick a Chinese up.

In all seriousness though use the tier thingy as an excuse not to have him round and suggest a dinner date somewhere public;if he's not up for that then it tells you all you need to know.

CatAndHisKit · 05/12/2020 01:45

for posters who defend him by saying he's got no privacy at his place - erm how about going out, you know, like a normal DATE? They are in tier two so can go to a restaurant or even a cafe!
Very CF for him to decide tha yo uaer ready for a shag after just meeting, it's been one day!

CatAndHisKit · 05/12/2020 01:45

*after just one meeting

Heartofglass12345 · 05/12/2020 01:47

Why does he have to make all the effort?

Heartofglass12345 · 05/12/2020 01:49

You could also suggest a date in a restaurant is what I meant by that. Don't tell me, if he doesn't pay he's not much of a 'gentleman' either?

grassisjeweled · 05/12/2020 01:49

Just go the whole hog and offer to cook for him too

Mycastle · 05/12/2020 01:53

Internet dating has really changed the perception of men on dating.

I’ve a few friends on it and they all say the same thing.

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