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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just want my children to GO TO BED??????

81 replies

Foxesinsockses · 04/12/2020 19:39

Friday evening and I am done in, been a really hard week at work then switched at 5pm straight into Mummy mode. Busy week for them too, tired but happy. However DH has got them watching a movie which they are just about holding it together for but it'll be carnage when it's finished and we need to get them washed and PJs and stories read and tucked in . . .
I am sure from their point of view it is a lovely Friday night snuggled up with Daddy on the sofa knowing that Mummy's going to swoop in and bath them and read to them and cuddle them when it's finished but it's going to be close to 9pm by the time I get finished and I JUST WANT SOME PEACE AND QUIET.

Phhh. It's just family life, innit, and they are lovely children and I'm immensely fortunate and grateful but sometimes . . . AIBU just to wish I could put my own needs first and say NO to the Friday night movie and get them to bed earlier so I can collapse without anyone needing anything (in stereo)??

OP posts:
thecakebadge · 04/12/2020 19:40

Solution - DH puts them to bed. Simple.

angelikacpickles · 04/12/2020 19:41

Well I'd be skipping the bath for a start!

flaviaritt · 04/12/2020 19:41

How old? My child needs to be bathed and a story read, and she is in bed at 7 rain or shine.

thecakebadge · 04/12/2020 19:41

(And in the meantime take yourself off with a glass of wine and a good book, “see you all in the morning! Enjoy the film!)

HuntedForest · 04/12/2020 19:41

I'd be saying no movie until they're washed, pj'd and teeth brushed.

TeenPlusTwenties · 04/12/2020 19:41

Next time - baths & pjs before snuggle film.

SushiGo · 04/12/2020 19:42

Agreed! Let DH put them to bed (and the bath can be skipped for one night)

flaviaritt · 04/12/2020 19:42

And also, why do you have to do bedtime when he messes up the routine?

Original poster
Foxesinsockses · 04/12/2020 19:44

5 and 8. Probably will skip the bath, they can stay grubby until morning. But then I think that's pretty crap not to prioritise their hygiene and comfort over my need for peace!!
I'm expecting DH is going to be making our supper while I'm doing bedtime. They prefer my story reading (he doesn't do voices :-)

OP posts:
AaronPurr · 04/12/2020 19:46

9pm is pretty late for a 5 year old, i'd definitely skip the bath today and let DH do the bedtime routine.

AlwaysBehindTheCurve · 04/12/2020 19:47

One night without a bath won’t make them unhygienic and uncomfortable will it?
Mine (7 and 5) haven’t had a bath tonight as they were both shattered and just needed their beds.

Tearsfortiers · 04/12/2020 19:48

We do Friday movie night but DS has to be showered and in pjs before it starts.

flaviaritt · 04/12/2020 19:49

Probably will skip the bath, they can stay grubby until morning. But then I think that's pretty crap not to prioritise their hygiene and comfort over my need for peace!!

Bloody hell, take a load off and go and sit down! It’s not ‘hygiene’ - they’re not covered in poo. Just put them in the shower in the morning.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 04/12/2020 19:49

YANBU!

I really recognise this - not necessarily the film bit, which isn’t to say we don’t have late relaxed nights, just that this isn’t the only time I feel like this! I feel like that at the end of a particularly gruelling week regardless of whether it’s going to be normal bedtime or not tbh. I just want to get my pyjamas on and relax alone, not Be Mummy.

lanbro · 04/12/2020 19:50

On a Friday night mine, 7&8, have to go upstairs at 8pm then they get an hour upstairs. I work about 50hrs a week and like to start my tv with a wine!

Lottieeshborn · 04/12/2020 19:51

I'm sure missing a bath for the night won't matter, and to them quality time with you guys would be much more wanted.
They don't care if they are a little dirty, don't get me wrong, if its a poonami with a bambino I get it. But older kids, its not going to hurt them so I would definitely be skipping the bath. Get them in pjs to watch it and say its straight to bed after (obviously brushing their teeth along the way).

Also, I completely understand though. I have a 9 year old and 12 month old and sometimes I'm counting the hours until bedtime so I can finally put my feet up and not have a crotch goblin attached to me and hear mum mum mum mum continuously! So from one tired, worn out, headache ridden mum to another, not long now, you're on the home run then get your feet up with a brew (or wine, it is Friday after all) and relax! X

flaviaritt · 04/12/2020 19:52

crotch goblin

😂

Bringonspring · 04/12/2020 19:52

Yeah I’d get annoyed by that. That being said your comments about hygiene from skipping a bath one night are a bit weird, but probably tough n cheek

MummaBear4321 · 04/12/2020 19:53

My 2 year old only gets a bath 2 nights a week. Kids dont need a bath every night. They are hardly rolling around in mud. Skip the bath, DH does bedtime, you sit.

myhobbyisouting · 04/12/2020 19:53

It's not unhygienic to go to bed without having a bath or shower first!

Just because they like your reading better doesn't mean you should always do it. If you need the break then you speak up

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 04/12/2020 19:54

Cant they just watch the rest tomorrow?
Put on pjs while they watch?
I dont bath mine every night particularly as they faff about enough as it is without bath time chaos too

thecakebadge · 04/12/2020 19:54

You’re being a martyr by saying you still have to put your children to bed because you read stories to them better. Do you do it every night? Don’t you ever get a break? Personally I’d find it more relaxing to cook the dinner, let DH wrangle the kids.

thecakebadge · 04/12/2020 19:54

Also children don’t need a daily bath unless they are caked in mud/paint/etc. Just teeth and bed.

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 04/12/2020 19:55

And if we have a late night its definitely straight to bed no story (teeth brushing and wash of course)

BoobsOnTheMoon · 04/12/2020 19:55

They don't need a bath every day, so drop that for a start. It's a waste of water and bad for their skin biome.

Pyjamas on and teeth cleaned before film. Then straight to bed after.