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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just want my children to GO TO BED??????

81 replies

Foxesinsockses · 04/12/2020 19:39

Friday evening and I am done in, been a really hard week at work then switched at 5pm straight into Mummy mode. Busy week for them too, tired but happy. However DH has got them watching a movie which they are just about holding it together for but it'll be carnage when it's finished and we need to get them washed and PJs and stories read and tucked in . . .
I am sure from their point of view it is a lovely Friday night snuggled up with Daddy on the sofa knowing that Mummy's going to swoop in and bath them and read to them and cuddle them when it's finished but it's going to be close to 9pm by the time I get finished and I JUST WANT SOME PEACE AND QUIET.

Phhh. It's just family life, innit, and they are lovely children and I'm immensely fortunate and grateful but sometimes . . . AIBU just to wish I could put my own needs first and say NO to the Friday night movie and get them to bed earlier so I can collapse without anyone needing anything (in stereo)??

OP posts:
AldiAisleofCrap · 04/12/2020 20:22

@Foxesinsockses missed the last bath was Tuesday, even so it’s fine to only bath kids twice or even once a week. Daily or almost daily baths for young children is a fairly recent thing.

Pinkyandthebrainz · 04/12/2020 20:22

YANBU. That's why I don't have any.

ilovesushi · 04/12/2020 20:23

Give them their pjs now and they can get changed in the living room in front of the movie. Then once the credits are done, into bed. Not sure how you overcome the teeth issue. Can you just get them in and out the bathroom quickly no chat, no delays, no fuss. My two faff endlessly and the most simple tasks seem to take forever even when they are hurrying. I feel your pain btw.

Soontobe60 · 04/12/2020 20:24

@Foxesinsockses

5 and 8. Probably will skip the bath, they can stay grubby until morning. But then I think that's pretty crap not to prioritise their hygiene and comfort over my need for peace!! I'm expecting DH is going to be making our supper while I'm doing bedtime. They prefer my story reading (he doesn't do voices :-)
How late??? That’s too late for a 5 yr old. If daddy wants to watch a film with them daddy should get them bathed and ready beforehand then put them straight to bed when its finished.
Toomuchleopard · 04/12/2020 20:26

When the film finishes just get them in pjs, teeth, bed. No bath or stories

Caterina99 · 04/12/2020 20:29

I just tell my kids that if they want to stay up late watching a movie then they don’t get stories. Or I’ll read something extremely short. And obviously no baths.

Mine are still quite little though, 3 and 5 so we usually just stop the movie in time for normal bedtime and they can watch the rest the next day.

HallieKnight · 04/12/2020 20:33

Your husband was holding down the fort, you could have just gone to bed

AlwaysBehindTheCurve · 04/12/2020 20:36

In this scenario I’d have made myself a quick dinner, poured a glass of wine, gone to bed with a book and left my DH to finish up the film and put them to bed.
In fact that’s basically what I did this evening.

TasslesandFringes · 04/12/2020 20:37

The question you should be asking is why fire daddy get to relax with the kids whilst you do the slog...?

Shower in the morning.

MrsJBaptiste · 04/12/2020 20:38

@AlwaysBehindTheCurve

In this scenario I’d have made myself a quick dinner, poured a glass of wine, gone to bed with a book and left my DH to finish up the film and put them to bed. In fact that’s basically what I did this evening.
At 8pm? 😮
Demitri · 04/12/2020 20:39

@AlwaysBehindTheCurve

In this scenario I’d have made myself a quick dinner, poured a glass of wine, gone to bed with a book and left my DH to finish up the film and put them to bed. In fact that’s basically what I did this evening.
Same. I’m doing similar, dh and dc watching a movie downstairs while I’m lying in bed watching Netflix with wine!
Original poster
Foxesinsockses · 04/12/2020 20:41

I'm done! Got wine, supper's in the oven, everyone happy. NO bath and VERY short stories.

God it feels better sometimes just to have people tell you you're not awful for enjoying every single second of being Mummy and cutting some corners.

And yeah we should plan this better in future . . . sometimes being indulgent and saying yes doesn't really pay off!

OP posts:
Tigger001 · 04/12/2020 20:42

9pm does sound late for a 5 year old, but I suppose you know your kids.

I would be getting them in PJs while they watched film, then straight to bed after , no bath.

Good luck though, yeah my DS has preferences for bed times which we go with,

Original poster
Foxesinsockses · 04/12/2020 20:42

for NOT enjoying every single second, rather.

OP posts:
RoseByAnyOtherName · 04/12/2020 20:42

The film is the story (unless it's a documentary, and even they have a narrative theme).

If you want film night to be a regular fixture discuss with DH whether Friday is the best night, and how to schedule teeth/(bi-weekly?) bath/story/meal alongside it.

SimonJT · 04/12/2020 20:43

We usually do a friday film night, but as soon as dinner is tidied away its teeth and pjs, that way as soon as the film is over we can have our story and straight to bed. It also means bedtime isn’t delayed so no over tired little one the next day.

AlwaysBehindTheCurve · 04/12/2020 20:44

@MrsJBaptiste yes, why not? I’m in bed with a glass of wine and am switching between mumsnetting and reading my book. DH put the children to bed and is watching some tripe film I’m not interested in downstairs. Everyone is happy.

MrsJBaptiste · 04/12/2020 20:53

Each to their own!

I just couldn't imagine getting into bed at 8pm. Evryone would be WTF? 😁

AlwaysBehindTheCurve · 04/12/2020 20:54

@MrsJBaptiste

Each to their own!

I just couldn't imagine getting into bed at 8pm. Evryone would be WTF? 😁

Well there’s only DH to comment as the children are in bed, and he doesn’t seem too astounded Wink
Bumpsadaisie · 04/12/2020 20:57

We stay up later for Friday movies but showered and pj definitely first🤣 l

It's the first rule in the book of quick wins.
They're desperate to have their supper in trays in front of tv so get showered and PJ'd up in lightning quick time. They then sit and watch the movie and when over it's just teeth a cuddle a little song and they're asleep and DH and I can get the real party started 🤣

Robinelf · 04/12/2020 21:02

Can you get 8 yr old into the routine of reading his own book in bed? Maybe read a page or two to you first then you leg it and leave him to it. It is a nice habit for them to get into once they find books they really enjoy, and it frees you up without the guilt.

missmouse101 · 04/12/2020 21:08

Definitely forget bath. Film always replaces story on these occasions. Do it much earlier next time.

AndcalloffChristmas · 04/12/2020 21:16

We have movie night on Friday. The rule is PJs are on first though.

AndcalloffChristmas · 04/12/2020 21:17

Mine are 6 and 12 so the big challenge is finding a film they both want to watch...

jessstan1 · 04/12/2020 21:25

Why could one of you not have got them bathed and into PJs earlier? Then all that was needed was putting them to bed.