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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband opening my mail means I've missed the flu jab not I have it

87 replies

popsydoodle4444 · 04/12/2020 17:17

Fuming;I've been on my arse this week with flu;my DH hasn't done anything to help;he's currently giving me the cold shoulder,he's not said anything but I know he's peeved off because I've spent every available minute I can sleeping in bed as I need to recover ASAP;3 teenagers have been amazing with helping out,looking after me and their younger brother but it shouldn't be left up to them.

I'm a little worried about Covid 19 so I asked DH (as I don't drive) yesterday if I booked a drive through test today could he please take me but he complained he's too busy with work to take me,he's the company owner and sets his own schedule and can be flexible so he's just being a dick.I've ended up ordering a postal test just in case.

So pretty much I'm being punished for being ill and not being a good little wifey and doing everything (he likes to monitor what I do in the house as he has OCD)

I've just found a big stack of opened mail;in there is an important letter from my sons college about his course and a letter from my GP practice dated the 20th of November telling me I'm eligible for the flu jab;I could have gone to my local pharmacy which is a 5 minute walk away and had it sorted 2 weeks ago but obviously I haven't seen the letter as I didn't open it and my son hasn't seen the letter addressed to him.

I know my DH has opened them,they are dumped in a pile where he leaves his crap along with his mail.I've confronted him about this but he was quite nasty towards me and tried to gaslight me and told I must have opened them and forgotten about it.I've definitely not he's trying to cover up his mistake and knows he's been caught out.

I'm so annoyed because I think this is probably just seasonal flu and if I'd had the jab I wouldn't be ill right now.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 04/12/2020 17:22

If he's not named on the letter or going to deal with what the letters are about, he shouldn't be opening them. Are you sure you have flu and aren't just exhausted putting up with him? 💐

iano · 04/12/2020 17:22

He sounds unpleasant to live with. Do you love him and enjoy the relationship you're in?

KihoBebiluPute · 04/12/2020 17:23

YANBU

ForTheLoveOfCatFood · 04/12/2020 17:24

So many posts with people married or with horrible partners.
Unless this is a one off reaction and he’s usually an amazing dp/ parent I’d be questioning how much longer I wanted to put up with crap like that

Seafog · 04/12/2020 17:26

Does he have a lot of other redeeming qualities?

RunningFromInsanity · 04/12/2020 17:26

How can you read your OP and know that you have to put up with that for the next 30, 40, 50 years? How sad.

user1471457751 · 04/12/2020 17:27

While he sounds unpleasant, it takes about 2 weeks for the flu jab to be effective. Given you wouldn't have received it until several days after the letter date and you've been ill for a week already, you wouldn't have had the jab in time.

ineedaholidaynow · 04/12/2020 17:29

How does he monitor what you do?

UseOfWeapons · 04/12/2020 17:32

@user1471457751

While he sounds unpleasant, it takes about 2 weeks for the flu jab to be effective. Given you wouldn't have received it until several days after the letter date and you've been ill for a week already, you wouldn't have had the jab in time.
This, absolutely right. However, your bloke sounds like an arse, so once you’re well, time to think about whether this is the life you want. Get well soon, OP, and eat plenty of comfort food!💐
AwaAnBileYerHeid · 04/12/2020 17:32

How can you put up with such a horrible man? Sounds like all he adds to your life is grief and you'd get on better without him..

Brighterthansunflowers · 04/12/2020 17:32

He sounds vile but as PP said, if you have flu you may well have still caught it even if you’d had the jab as it takes up to 2 weeks to be effective. But that’s not really the point. The point is your DP is a selfish unsupportive dick.

PoulePouletteEternellement · 04/12/2020 17:33

Really, what is the point of, or pleasure in, living with someone who frustrates and undermines you at every turn?

LilyLongJohn · 04/12/2020 17:34

I'm struggling to understand why you're still with him

EKGEMS · 04/12/2020 17:35

I'd strangle the bastard

Whatsnewpussyhat · 04/12/2020 17:38

Why stay with a man like that?

PoulePouletteEternellement · 04/12/2020 17:43

I mean ... some people are a bit scatterbrained (been there) so I'm not saying I'd LTB for an isolated incident of neglecting important post - though opening and concealing my post takes things up a notch or two ...

But he's unhelpful when you're ill, doesn't look after you, is unapologetic and gaslight-y when confronted. And has probably caused unwelcome complications for your child. Xmas Angry

Sorry, OP - but a lot of single people will be looking around their empty rooms with an increased degree of contentment after reading your thread.

Nottherealslimshady · 04/12/2020 17:44

Well he was stupid to not tell you about it. Honestly, I open DHs post, if its important i tell him about it and usually sort it out. If its not I put on his ever growing pile of post he cant be arsed to look at.

He sounds like a right nasty wanker though, you're ill and he's punishing you, that would be the end of it for me. In this house when you're ill you get looked after because you're loved and cared about.

providentglue · 04/12/2020 17:48

There are a whole lot of issues there with your husband but tbh I think your flu jab isn't one of them. You must have known you were eligible?

ConquestEmpireHungerPlague · 04/12/2020 17:48

Tbf, if you'd had the jab two weeks ago you'd probably still have been ill now, as it takes two weeks to provide protection.

Your DH's behaviour is another matter though.

MumInBrussels · 04/12/2020 17:49

Does he have any redeeming qualities at all? He sounds horrible.

I hope you feel better soon! Flowers

Oldbutstillgotit · 04/12/2020 17:49

Why is he opening your mail ? If he is doing it deliberately i would be furious . My exh used to open my Mail and then decide if I should see it . I hated it especially when it was a private letter from a friend ( pre email) .

MitziK · 04/12/2020 17:50

He opens and discards your post regarding medical treatment when you are presumably in a high risk group (as you've been offered a flu jab), gets the bollockache when you then get ill, refuses to help you take a test and monitors what goes on in the house?

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL WITH THIS PRICK?

user686833 · 04/12/2020 17:51

He doesn't sound very nice at all, and he shouldn't be opening your mail... Especially not NHS letters. But it is a stretch to blame him for flu. If you are eligible you should have looked up how to book ages ago, if you didn't know you were eligible you could have paid £5-10 for one back in September.

Thelnebriati · 04/12/2020 17:51

Have a look at the graphics from the Freedom Program because his monitoring you has nothing to do with OCD and everything to do with control;
freedomprogramme.co.uk/docs/dominator-mr-right.pdf

Sexnotgender · 04/12/2020 17:53

He sounds like a waste of skin, does he bring anything positive?

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