Husband opening my mail means I've missed the flu jab not I have it

[popsydoodle4444]

Fuming;I've been on my arse this week with flu;my DH hasn't done anything to help;he's currently giving me the cold shoulder,he's not said anything but I know he's peeved off because I've spent every available minute I can sleeping in bed as I need to recover ASAP;3 teenagers have been amazing with helping out,looking after me and their younger brother but it shouldn't be left up to them.

I'm a little worried about Covid 19 so I asked DH (as I don't drive) yesterday if I booked a drive through test today could he please take me but he complained he's too busy with work to take me,he's the company owner and sets his own schedule and can be flexible so he's just being a dick.I've ended up ordering a postal test just in case.

So pretty much I'm being punished for being ill and not being a good little wifey and doing everything (he likes to monitor what I do in the house as he has OCD)

I've just found a big stack of opened mail;in there is an important letter from my sons college about his course and a letter from my GP practice dated the 20th of November telling me I'm eligible for the flu jab;I could have gone to my local pharmacy which is a 5 minute walk away and had it sorted 2 weeks ago but obviously I haven't seen the letter as I didn't open it and my son hasn't seen the letter addressed to him.

I know my DH has opened them,they are dumped in a pile where he leaves his crap along with his mail.I've confronted him about this but he was quite nasty towards me and tried to gaslight me and told I must have opened them and forgotten about it.I've definitely not he's trying to cover up his mistake and knows he's been caught out.

I'm so annoyed because I think this is probably just seasonal flu and if I'd had the jab I wouldn't be ill right now.

The man I mentioned would also open all the post and chuck away everything he considered unnecessary, including his wife's pay slips and important documents. There seem to be red flags all over your post op.

One thing OP and apologies I've not read the thread but it might still be worth having the 'flu vaccination in case you've not had 'flu or to protect against the other three variants in the vaccination in case you have.

Hope you feel better soon. Ops have advised about the substantive issue.

Good luck.

He sounds like a dick

But surely you know its flu season, you know your entilted to a jab.
This is on you!

@Prokupatuscrakedatus

Opening mail that is not adressed to you is a crime where I live.

But it's not a crime in the UK unless some specific conditions are met.

@FatCatThinCat

He has no care for you does he. What a way to live.

This.

So sorry OP but your DH has no respect for you at all, he appears to actively dislike you.

I hope you feel better soon and can get your life back on track without this arsehole

Just be sure to lick his toothbrush OP and don't do anything to help if he gets sick.

(he likes to monitor what I do in the house as he has OCD)

No no no, people with OCD DO IT THEMSELVES - that is the point, they dont sit there and tell others what to do.

I think he has RLAI, and it can sometimes be fatal cos someone kills them - Ruddy Lazy Arsed-Itis

OCD is irrelevant here.

His controlling, twattish behaviour is, however.

Why are you with him?

You have a husband problem. Get rid.

@ColdNovemberNights

He sounds like a dick

But surely you know its flu season, you know your entilted to a jab.
This is on you!

The criteria for jabs changed this year: I was entitled to one from the GP when I never have been previously. How is OP supposed to know if she's entitled to one or not if she doesn't receive the communication from the GP?? This isn't on her.

Flu symptoms are pretty much the same as Covid-19 symptoms. If you've got/had a high temperature you should all be self-isolating until you get your test result. Why is he at work?

(yes he's a dick, listen to everyone on that)

Just realised he might be working from home, then surely the kids being under his feet might encourage him to book the test.

The problem isn't that he opened the mail. The problem is you've said he gaslights you; complains when you're ill and doesn't help you. He also doesn't consider you or the DCs to be important hence why he opens and dumps your mail.

I really feel for you, what a way to treat a spouse! I've been married for 43 years and not once has my DH opened my post nor me his. While you're planning to leave this dickhead tell him he is forbidden to open your post and that you won't be performing ANY 'wifely' duties, no cooking, washing for him being as he couldn't be bothered to look after you and take you for a test, he's just horrible.
@popsydoodle4444 I realise reading the replies is going to be tough for you but I suspect you know that your relationship is not right. I hope you find the courage to do something about it

@ColdNovemberNights

He sounds like a dick

But surely you know its flu season, you know your entilted to a jab.
This is on you!

How's she meant to know when the appointment is if he opens her mail and doesn't tell her? Hardly the point anyway is it. He doesn't treat her with respect or care.

He doesnt treat her with care. No. Thats true!

Drs surgeries have been doing appointments and walk in clinics for months now...

Surely its up to the person to ring your own doctors and get an appointment before December if your entitled to a jab

Hope you are OK, flu can be really horrible but at least you know how lovely your kids are. Well you probably knew anyway but it is lovely when kids are so caring.

Yanbu- he sounds horrendous! Why do so many women put up with horrible DH’s, do you not think you deserve better op?!

@EKGEMS

I'd strangle the bastard

^this^

Or divorce the fucker and take half of his shit.

Bet he would pay fucking attention if you took half of his company.

Bastard.

OP hasn't returned. I wonder if her 'D'H is monitoring her posts on here.

OP he sounds full of contempt for you. Miffed because you've been ill, refusing to drive you to a covid test, gas lighting you...he sounds awful.

Bloody hell!

Surely if you have flu-type symptoms you must have a test? And the rest of the household should be isolating?

He sounds a complete arsehole and has no business being nasty to you.

He is abusive hope you can find support

As others have said, it's highly unlikely that he has OCD. He may be telling you that things have to be done a certain way because he has OCD and things need to be just so, but that's not OCD.

Someone with OCD has obsession and compulsions to do things, for a variety of reasons but mostly connected to anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Doing the thing, whatever compulsion it might be helps to relieve the anxiety. Or it doesn't because it's a vicious circle.

Your partner is controlling what you do and gaslighting you. He may well have a mental disorder but it's not OCD.

OP just over a year ago you posted about your suspicions of your husband and his female friend. It was clear then what you should do and it's clearer now. I hope you come back to this thread.