to be annoyed at DH for taking a photo of a woman sunbathing?

[PixieAndTrixie]

I have just returned from a weeks holiday in Spain and I caught DH taking a Photo of the woman on the next sunbed using his mobile phone & when I confronted him about it he said he was texting someone . This is not the first time this has happened (bloody perv).

He was eyeing up all the women in their bikins should I be upset by this?

So you need to tell him that he has to support you.
And stop undermining your confidence and disrespecting you by leering at other women.

The problem is Lulumama I was a size 12 when we got married but now I am a 16 . You know what its like you get comfortable with someone. when you get married and don't worry about your figure?

Have you told him how it makes you feel when he behaves like this?

This isnt abotu your weight, this is about him disrespecting you and being a perv.

This is HIS bad. Not your fault.

Pixie,please don't feel you have to lose weight for your husband. Dosen't matter what size someone is..if you love them,you love them. I've been large and small since being with my DH,I've been crease free and creased. Either way we have both been respectful towards each other. Perhaps he wants you to feel less confident,lots of woman your size are happy because they feel it. What he is doing is so out of order. Theres only one bit of weight that needs working on.....and thats him!!!!!

Write us a list of why you are still with this man. I am struggling.

I could be completely wrong, and much as I applaud the 'girl power' stance and support and appreciate you want to hear that, I want to offer something else.

I agree it's a bit creepy and weird photographing some random woman, however I think it's a symptom of something else.

I don't think it's just as simple as she was a 10 and you are a 16, I think that is you transferring your own insecurities onto him, and then imagining that he thinks 10 is better than 16. 10 is different, 10 is pretty, but it is not better, and it doesn't mean he prefers it. Have a bit more confidence in yourself, like someone else said, he chose YOU!!

Try and take a step back and analyse things from his perspective. How are things at home? Are you guys getting on? Do you ever have sex? Or is all the focus on the babies/kids and he's not getting any grown up attention and is feeling rather hard-done-by and pent-up?

I'm not justifying pervy behaviour, but I just have this image of a guy who's feeling sad and lonely and saw a pretty girl and got a bit carried away...we've all had a dribble over 'that cute waiter' at some point so don't blow it out of proportion, hurtful as it is.

There is also alot of pressure for holidays to be magical. Yet all the strains from home come with you and often blow up as it's the most time you've spent together in months!

Rather than confronting him with 'how dare you take that photo' type attack which will put him on the defensive, maybe try snuggling up and saying 'I realise you've been missing me, maybe we could do something nice together, watch a DVD or something?'

I'm sorry if I've read this totally wrong, and if he is just being a git, but I just wanted to offer a different angle.

Good Luck, I hope you guys get it sorted.

I was a size 10 - 12 and curvy when I met DH. I put on a bit of weight over the years, got pregnant with DD, put on more and then after the birth of DS, went up to size 20. I was over 14 stone and as I am only 5'2 I was not happy with my weight.

I decided to lose weight when my size 20 clothes were getting tight, and I could not face buying any bigger clothes. My DH was always very loving and supportive, he never pressured me to lose weight.

I lost about 3 stone, so I am still not back to the weight I was when we met, but at least size 14 fits again.

The decision to lose weight was made because I was unhappy with my appearance, and yes, DH finds me more attractive now (as I do too) but that is a side effect.

You need to decide yourself if you want to lose weight, do it for yourself not for your DH.

eeeerrrr.. peeping tom, perv and bloody disrespectful to you IMHO.... does he wear a rain-mac and wander the common on saturday nights??

.... I suggest you do the same next time and see how he feels.....

By PixieAndTrixie on Sat 20-Oct-07 20:12:28
The problem is Lulumama I was a size 12 when we got married but now I am a 16 sad. You know what its like you get comfortable with someone. when you get married and don't worry about your figure?

but he is not comfortable, or making you feel not comfortable

we cannot stay the same , especially after children, even if you stay the same weight your body changes.. it is not a reasonable excuse for him to behave like this. but i do agree it is a symptom of something else.

i would go mad!an odd sneaky glance is ok but to take a photo

YANBU i would have been furious this is completely disrespecful of both you and this other woman, who does he think he is!

sorry but i think its truly not nice
is he of an adonis type build

it is peeping tom -ish

i would hsve to think long and hard about a man who leered at other women especially when i was actually there

so dis respectful

does he want you to see him leching- does it make him seem in the womans 'league' cos he can leer at a size10 ?

long hard look at the relationship imo- you are very young and have a lot of life to lead with this man