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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Gym girls

235 replies

youcanthandlethetruth · 02/12/2020 23:08

Two of my friends have taken to posting gym selfies.

One has not long had her baby and hit the gym hard, which I applaud. She has taken her wellbeing seriously but I can’t help but think she doesn’t need to post pictures on social media. It’s like a stealth brag. Particularly showing off images of her stomach and she’s wearing a full face of makeup whilst in gym gear.

Another friend has became gym obsessed in the last year. Again I think lockdown might have been a big catalyst but she constantly posts on Facebook about fitness. Constant selfies in the gym. Constant posts about calories, what she’s eaten etc. It’s becoming tedious.

I don’t want to have to unfriend them online. The selfie culture and what I feel is stealth bragging has just became annoying now. Yes, I get that you’re looking well. I recognise you are taking positive steps to maintain your health and well-being but please can you stop posting about your amazing body.

And no I’m not jealous, I’m a size 8 myself. I just hate people who feel the need to show off. Tell me I’m not the only one

OP posts:
FredZeppelin · 03/12/2020 14:37

Anyone who wears a face full of makeup to the gym is not working out hard enough!
Yes agree gym selfies are tiresome, I just ‘snooze for 30 days’ on repeat.

DryRoastPeanut · 03/12/2020 14:40

@PrincessNutNut, I’m sat in my car. I’m literally still gasping but my colour is returning to a more normal shade. I only took a few photos for my own satisfaction that I was pushing myself as hard as I could.

PrincessNutNut · 03/12/2020 14:41

[quote DryRoastPeanut]@PrincessNutNut, I’m sat in my car. I’m literally still gasping but my colour is returning to a more normal shade. I only took a few photos for my own satisfaction that I was pushing myself as hard as I could.[/quote]
Take them for any reason you like and do whatever you like with them.

Twigletfairy · 03/12/2020 14:43

Different people are happy to see different posts on social media. An old work colleague posts her workouts with heart rate and calories burned etc most days. I have no interest in that kind of thing, but I notice she has a few friends that regularly comments on it and it starts a little discussion. Likewise another work colleague posts his runs, and again he has the same people regularly having a discussion with him. I may have no interest in it and find it pointless to post, but other people clearly find it of interest which is probably one reason why they keep posting ut

Pollypocket89 · 03/12/2020 14:43

Anyone who wears a face full of makeup to the gym is not working out hard enough!


Why do women spout this shit about other women? I wear makeup to the gym because I'm coming from work. To do my workout. With my body. My makeupwearingface. Minding my own business. I recommend it. Just because someone's wearing makeup and you judge them for it, doesn't mean their workout is lesser.

merryhouse · 03/12/2020 14:45

My FB feed

old schoolmate who was on BakeOff posting his bakes climbs and photos of Cornwall

old schoolmate posting her paintings and her family's fundraising efforts for a stillbirth charity

old schoolmate recently single posting her family trips to the beach and her DIY projects

old university friends posting about his recent ordination and their son's songwriting and busking

old university friend posting about the various ensembles she plays violin with

old university friend and brother-in-law (separately) posting about their trips abroad and the various places they eat and drink

sister-in-law posting about her craft business

...I don't need to know any of this. But I read it, and smile, and maybe leave a Like or a comment. And every now and again one or other of them will post their ParkRun time, or their progress on C25k, or their weight or blood result; and I might Like or comment on that too. Because it's important to them, and I want to be a part of humanity which is a social species.

baubling · 03/12/2020 14:49

It's so tiresome isn't it OP? I have a friend who is often sharing photos of himself in "I know I'm gorgeous so come and get me girls, you know you want to" poses. I don't want to. Grin

SimonJT · 03/12/2020 14:53

@FredZeppelin

Anyone who wears a face full of makeup to the gym is not working out hard enough! Yes agree gym selfies are tiresome, I just ‘snooze for 30 days’ on repeat.
One of the PTs are our gym always wears makeup, shes extremely fit and worksout extremely hard when she leads our turbo bootcamp.
RollneckJumper · 03/12/2020 14:56

@Pollypocket89

Anyone who wears a face full of makeup to the gym is not working out hard enough!

Why do women spout this shit about other women? I wear makeup to the gym because I'm coming from work. To do my workout. With my body. My makeupwearingface. Minding my own business. I recommend it. Just because someone's wearing makeup and you judge them for it, doesn't mean their workout is lesser.

@FredZeppelin Anyone who wears a face full of makeup to the gym is not working out hard enough!

Totally agree with you @Pollypocket89
I often visit the gym after work with a full face of make up. Why should I have to wipe it all off before I jump on the treadmill just to make other people feel better? Or maybe I am missing something.. perhaps removing all my make up will somehow miraculously boost my productivity in the gym Hmm - ridiculous!

How about people just go to the gym, mind their own business and get on with their own workout?

And so what if someone does choose to doll themselves up solely to take selfies at the gym and hardly touches to equipment or works up a sweat.... are you paying their membership? No. If they want to pay through the nose each month for what is effectively an expensive photo shoot.. that's up to them!

PurpleDaisies · 03/12/2020 14:59

@FredZeppelin

Anyone who wears a face full of makeup to the gym is not working out hard enough! Yes agree gym selfies are tiresome, I just ‘snooze for 30 days’ on repeat.
No need for that. People can wear what they want to the gym. Some people sweat more than others. It doesn’t mean they’re not working hard.
boomshakey · 03/12/2020 15:01

Even if they are just "after likes" then so what?

At least they are owning it but I have never seen anyone say that's the reason why they do it.

How does it affect you in any way?

It doesn't particularly impact me but I have dc so I have to care plus I think there are many negatives aspects to SM.

BurbageBrook · 03/12/2020 15:01

It's not a stealth brag, but it's definitely a brag. And I say this as someone who is into the gym, but I'd only ever show off my abs to my boyfriend or on the beach! It is so cringey and narcissistic.

boomshakey · 03/12/2020 15:04

I want to be a part of humanity which is a social species.

I don't think you need social media for that do you?

PrincessNutNut · 03/12/2020 15:04

@boomshakey

Even if they are just "after likes" then so what?

At least they are owning it but I have never seen anyone say that's the reason why they do it.

How does it affect you in any way?

It doesn't particularly impact me but I have dc so I have to care plus I think there are many negatives aspects to SM.

Oh for heaven's sake, the moral posturing just hit the stratosphere. How on earth are women posting gym selfies a bad influence on your children?
Waxonwaxoff0 · 03/12/2020 15:07

@boomshakey you don't have to care at all. I also have DC. My DC is no one else's responsibility but mine. Why should other people have to watch what they post because of your DC?

Waxonwaxoff0 · 03/12/2020 15:08

So everyone else has to be mindful of a stranger's children before posting what they want on their own social media. Right.

gingingerbread · 03/12/2020 15:14

I like seeing my friends' gym selfies. I like cheering them on, why not? I see it as part of friendship, just the same as liking someone's holiday snaps, pics of their kids, hearing about their good news.
I think you need to calm down

boomshakey · 03/12/2020 15:18

Sorry I thought my posts were always stressing the point that I don't like the narcissism & materialism that SM tends to promote. Of course one random selfie doesn't have an impact on me but it's the collectiveness of it as a whole & how SM impacts society. I said upthread I think there are many negatives to SM. I don't use fb & instagram but I have to be aware of them for my dc. It's not a case of don't use or don't follow & then I can ignore it because SM doesn't exist in a vacuum.

PrincessNutNut · 03/12/2020 15:24

@boomshakey

Sorry I thought my posts were always stressing the point that I don't like the narcissism & materialism that SM tends to promote. Of course one random selfie doesn't have an impact on me but it's the collectiveness of it as a whole & how SM impacts society. I said upthread I think there are many negatives to SM. I don't use fb & instagram but I have to be aware of them for my dc. It's not a case of don't use or don't follow & then I can ignore it because SM doesn't exist in a vacuum.
You're free to dislike SM and I expect that even the keenest user would understand why some people don't care for it. It is, however, here to stay so you are going to have to find a way of managing it within your own life. I'm pretty sure that narcissistic people existed before Facebook did, but we didn't have an off button.

Using your children as leverage for moralistic point scoring over women posting pictures of themselves on treadmills is beyond ridiculous. You're their parent, you equip them to handle the world as it is.

boomshakey · 03/12/2020 15:32

Using your children as leverage for moralistic point scoring over women posting pictures of themselves on treadmills is beyond ridiculous. You're their parent, you equip them to handle the world as it is.

Eh? that's a leap. I was simply responding to the reasons why I care. Of course it's my responsibility to teach my children about SM amongst other things, how do I do that if I don't care about SM & act like it doesn't exist?

I've never once said people shouldn't post X or Y however I am allowed to criticise what people choose to post & their motivations behind it whether it's selfie culture, fake news, advertising etc.

Emeeno1 · 03/12/2020 15:33

In my experience many gym people are not healthy and have disordered eating and disordered thoughts about their bodies. They often exhibit obsessional behaviours and thought patterns.

Health is the smokescreen they hide behind.

PurpleDaisies · 03/12/2020 15:34

@Emeeno1

In my experience many gym people are not healthy and have disordered eating and disordered thoughts about their bodies. They often exhibit obsessional behaviours and thought patterns.

Health is the smokescreen they hide behind.

Wow that’s a statement. Hmm
Jeminni · 03/12/2020 15:36

I've always kept fit and always kept trim, in my forties, three kids. Would vomit over myself if I caught myself taking gym selfies.

Any of my friends that do get unfollowed in FB. Or they prove to me they're incredibly vain so get unfriended completely Grin

PrincessNutNut · 03/12/2020 15:39

@boomshakey

Using your children as leverage for moralistic point scoring over women posting pictures of themselves on treadmills is beyond ridiculous. You're their parent, you equip them to handle the world as it is.

Eh? that's a leap. I was simply responding to the reasons why I care. Of course it's my responsibility to teach my children about SM amongst other things, how do I do that if I don't care about SM & act like it doesn't exist?

I've never once said people shouldn't post X or Y however I am allowed to criticise what people choose to post & their motivations behind it whether it's selfie culture, fake news, advertising etc.

Someone asked you why you cared about gym selfies and you replied, "It doesn't particularly impact me but I have dc so I have to care."

And nobody has said you aren't allowed to criticise SM. You know an argument is weak when its only defence is "well I'm allowed to say it". What people are inviting you, OP and others to ask yourselves is why you have this strong moralistic response to women posting pictures of themselves on treadmills, because you clearly have.

SM most certainly throws up it's own set of issues that we should address, but gym selfies? Really? This is like those Christmas Eve box threads where people pretend they're on some noble crusade because of waste, excess and mindless consumerism, but if that's the case, they haven't half chosen a strange and really quite undeserving target for it.

Brefugee · 03/12/2020 15:42
  1. don't call them girls - they are women

  2. they have worked hard, why not be proud of what you've achieved

  3. if you don't like it, unfollow, scroll on by whatever