I fully detest bragging of any kind. I was brought up from a young age that it was really fucking rude to boast to other children and adults about all the fancy toys I got for Christmas, the exotic holidays we went on, exam results and achievements through hobbies etc because it could make another child feel sad and also it was drilled into me that it’s great to be proud of your achievements but boasting about it turns it into attention seeking/gloating/narcissism. So while it was great to get the highest grades in the class and ok to be quietly and privately proud, it wasn’t ok to go around
telling the rest of the class that I was the top of the class. Equally, it’s wonderful to be off to Antigua for a month in the school holidays but some kids might not even get a day trip so, while it’s normal and great to be excited, the entire world doesn’t need to know about our family holiday for months in advance.
These days, no one seems to get that memo.
I’m no longer on Facebook. I started to think
of it more as brag book.
I don’t “get” selfies. I do think a lot of the reasoning behind them is narcissistic. I’ve heard some people say that the gym selfie thing is about a “revenge body” that they want an ex or workplace enemy or former friend to see and be jealous of their body, others say “knowing others will like/comment” spurs them on (so attention seeking), others say they do it to be an inspiration to others (which is also really bloody narcissistic when you think about it!).
Even though I’m not on FB, it doesn’t stop some people private messaging me with a dozen selfies at a time with various filters on and usually no “hello, how are you?” or any attempt at a message other than an implicit “please look at my pictures and tell me how gorgeous I am. Please don’t ignore me, I’ve sent 15 slightly different ones and have a desperate need to feel special”. I’m sure some of these people think I only exist to compliment them.
The thing is the boasting and bragging is everywhere. If it’s not zillions of gym selfies, it’s the “look at how amazing a parent I am!”, look at my holidays, look at the fact I have the best husband in the world, my children are better than your children, my child free life is a thousand times better than your family life, “you never know true love until you are a mummy”, my political opinions are more righteous and a whole lot fucking louder than yours etc etc.
Honestly, leaving social media was one of the best things I did. Apart from the strange acquaintances who bombard me with WhatsApp selfies, I don’t have to deal with all that shit. There’s no motivation to “compete” with the #makingmemories or #workforit crowd. There’s no feelings of inadequacy that my house isn’t “hinched” to death or that I’ve failed my kids by taking them to WDW instead of on a “sustainability” trip to fucking Antarctica, or fears that I’ve failed my 7 year old because she’s just learning to step ball change and just enjoys prancing about in her tap shoes while Darcie-Mai is already the Tap Dancing World Champion at 5 and a half as well as being able to converse fluently in Russian and Mandarin and playing 6 instruments. There’s no feeling of weirdness where I’m wrestling with my conscience knowing my single childless friend cries when we all post our Mother’s Day pics, or that I’m worried about boasting about a new extension or holiday when I know a colleague is struggling to pay rent and will most likely never see outside of the UK.
Seriously life is too short. If it’s taking up brain space ditch it.