To hate going to the hairdressers?

[SebastianTheCrab]

I just hate it. I don't find it relaxing at all.

I hate being trapped in the chair for hours, having to make awkward small talk with the receptionists, assistant and hairdresser, staring at myself in the mirror, having to fob off the endless attempts to flog me products and expensive treatments, smiling and nodding at the end while they gush about how great my hair looks (are they complimenting me or themselves? I mean, I've just been sat on my arse scrolling Mumsnet for hours while they've done all the work?) and then fiddling about with tips for everyone at the end.

But today took the absolute biscuit. I went in for my once-yearly colour and ended up there for five hours. It killed my entire day. I had so many errands I was supposed to run today and had to bin my entire To Do list. I literally walked out in the middle of the blow dry so I could be on time to pick up my son from nursery.

I have no idea what they were doing for so long. They kept putting goop in my hair, washing a bit out, adding more goop, putting me under the heater thing, combing through, adding more goop etc etc. After 3 hours I asked how much longer it was going to take and my eyes nearly popped out of my head when they said 1.5 hours. It ended up taking a further 2.

And my hair looks almost exactly the same.

Dear hairdresser, this is massively obvious who I am if you read this - I'm sorry. I just hate going to the hairdressers!

I'm not keen. I sit down. They say 'so what job do you do? ( even though I've been a few times) I say ' university lecturer' they say 'oh' and that's where the conversation goes pear shaped and in one of two directions. They either change the subject all together and start talking about some celebrity that I barely know. Or they talk about their own career trajectory which interests me no end!

I started dying my own hair to avoid the pain stretching into hours not minutes.

I love it. I just do. I like.my hairdresser and don't mind talking to her. She lives near me and we often spend ages gossipping about neighbours, discussing family, politics , Holliday etc etc. I like the cake and coffee/tea we often get offered. I love my hair being messed with and love love the hair wash and mini ihead massage

I've never taken more than 2 hours though Sorry I am not more help

Dying your own hair, even if you're blonde, isn't as hard as you think. Go on a salon wholesale website, buy a few colours, developer, toner, a mixing pot and brush, and a cape. When I was blonde I just used Fanola and Fudge. Hair looked great. I hated spending 5 hours in a salon, which it usually did take or more as they never know how to bleach Asian hair.

When it goes grey I'm leaving it.

Although I hate going to the hairdressers, I am really NOT here for the snobby remarks about the stereotypical things they supposedly talk about (which hasn't been true at all in my experience).

I hate it too. I was so glad when my sister qualified, I go to the salon she works at now and she can tell whether I want to chat or whether I want to chill

Yes some of the snobbery about hairdressers on this thread is mental.
“I have wide and varied hobbies and they’re interested in I’m a celebrity” 😳

I hate it too. I resent the time mainly and the cost stressed me out.
I used to go every 6 weeks for years. I also tried having a mobile hairdresser but found that more exhausting as it was just the two of us and nothing to distract.
I have managed to get it down to a quick half hour cut and blow dry.
I grew my hair, so not so crucial to get it cut so regularly, gave up the foils, and eventually gave up having a colour and embraced the grey ( I would not consider dying my hair myself) and now go every 3 months which I can just about manage.

@SheeshazAZ09

I hate it too. My hair is fine and knots easily and everything they do makes knots and then they yank the hair, by not taking care when combing it. Hate the head massage due to knots. Can’t stand having it washed twice as again it knots it up. Then they don’t understand that you have to comb it out starting from the ends up or they end up pulling hair out. Ugh. I don’t do the small talk as find if they are distracted they mess up. So it’s silence from me. Colour is the worst as it takes so long. I have solved that one by not colouring now.

My hair is this knotty too. Last time I took my own tangle teaser brush and I just brush it after the wash. It’s so so knotty.

On talking I don’t have to say no talking if I pick up a magazine. Last time I did chat though as had been stuck in lockdown - was a male stylist though, not that it made any difference to the depth of our chat.

My stylist is male, intelligent, interesting and a very lovely human.

I still detest going. The whole experience feels like a colossal chore, not unlike pap smears and dentist visits, like someone mentioned upthread.

But I like the results, so I keep going.

I'm with you, OP. DIY haircuts for me.

The only hair appointments I ever enjoyed were a with woman who ran a one-woman salon from her home. One sink, one client at a time, radio playing, very little talk - you were in and out in no time. Your privacy was respected. It was brilliant.

My husband refers to it as going to be pampered - sitting in a chair for 4.5 hours whilst someone sticks things on my head isn't pampering

Yep I hate going too, I view it as a necessary evil and actually prefer going to the dentist. I have a lovely hairdresser who always does a good job on my hair but am always relieved when it’s over and I know I don’t have to go back for another 8 weeks. The washing, cutting and styling do my head in and as I have very thick wayward hair, he never styles it in the way I want. I have to get the straighteners out when I get home. Can’t understand people who enjoy it.

@MercedesDeMonteChristo

I take my book and kindle and once we’ve had the initial what I want conversation I just say ‘ I’m just going to read’.

Same here. Kindle, magazine, coffee. Brief chat about what I want. Take some change for the tip.

Can’t understand people who enjoy it.

Can't understand people who hate it.

Having your hair cut and coloured doesn't hurt. I can understand people who feel that their time is better spent elsewhere or who resent the cost or who dislike making small talk, but "hatred" is a bit extreme don't you think?

I don't enjoy massages, either. I just don't. I don't find them relaxing at all, and rarely beneficial, and often counterproductive. But I love good facial. You'd almost think people are different!

I rarely go - I have long hair and I don't bother colouring it (I'm nearly 48 and my grey streaks are increasing but I'm fine with them). I hate having to make small talk with them, staring at myself in the mirror, and I cringe if they are a head massage type place.

I tend to go every year to 18 months - last went in February do probably not again till next spring.

I would like to find a hairdresser that will just cut it without asking me if I'm going out or about my holidays but I'm not bothered enough about regular haircuts to actually do it.

If people don’t like telling the hairdresser how they want their to be cut, do they expect the hairdresser to read their mind?

If people don’t like having colour put on their hair because it takes time, why then choose to have it done?

@TheFuckingDogs

Yes some of the snobbery about hairdressers on this thread is mental. “I have wide and varied hobbies and they’re interested in I’m a celebrity” 😳

They would probably complain the hairdresser was acting above their station if they dared to express an interest from the ‘approved’ snob list.

I genuinely hate it. I haven't been to a hairdresser in well over 20 years now. I am autistic though and just sit there feeling awkward and wanting to get away. I hate the small talk thing. I hate the touchy feelings part and I particularly hate the bit where they expect you know exactly what they want you to do. 'Let's get this gown on then you grab a seat over there' - put the gown on? Ok. How? Which way? Is this right? I'm not sure! What was that's second thing? Oh, sit somewhere. Where? There? Any seat? Or did you mean over there? It wasn't clear! Etc etc. Now of course before anyone tells me I know I can ask, but the awkward feeling doesn't disappear, in fact asking someone to clarify an instruction they felt was clear can often make me feel even worse!!

I throw a box dye on it and trim the ends every few weeks.

I don’t particularly enjoy it either. And it does take ages, I have so much hair that spending 8 hours (!!) in the salon is not unheard of 😫, so I always book the first appointment in the morning and book nothing else for the day. I actually have a full head of highlights booked for this morning, booking says 2h 45 min - I like their optimism and really hope they’re right!

@cbt944

I don't enjoy massages, either. I just don't. I don't find them relaxing at all, and rarely beneficial, and often counterproductive. But I love good facial. You'd almost think people are different!

I also hate massages. I find them the opposite of relaxing.

However, I've never had a beauty treatment from another person in my life. It's all the same thing to me: someone I don't know/don't know very well doing something to a part of me. I don't like it!

Ha I thought i was weird for hating the small talk, looks like it’s quite common!

I also end up with a sore head for ages after, both from having to bend it back over their sink and them brushing it as I get really hair sore :(

I’m also autistic and hate going to the hairdresser. I don’t dye my hair, I only ever want it trimming. I hate having to make appointments via phone beforehand. I have very thick hair, and every time I go to get it cut, they use a fine comb, my hair tangles, and they proceed to just yank down to try to get it untangled, and it feels like my scalp is being ripped out. It’s excruciating.

I hate touching my hair, I don’t style it because I can’t stand the feeling of product, and every time, I end up feeling subhuman because I don’t fit into the mould that I apparently have to fill as a woman.

I cancelled my haircut. I am having a dry cut instead Saturday at a new place that is in my neighbouring road. Hopefully in and out with minimal chat!

As a former hairdresser..... we have to ask what you want otherwise what would we know what you’d like done? Just the ends off? A skinhead? Touch up your roots? Tint the lot pink? We have to ask so comments saying “what would you like” and being peed off is just nonsense.
A lot of colours nowadays are all balayage with roots smudged in etc and they take so much more time than just the regular highlights. Colours take time to develop, and then some of them can’t be allies at the same time (balayage with a root smudge) so they need to be a two step process. People want olaplex which again is an additional time to process. Clients bringing in pictures with glossy coloured hair styled in loose waves is a long process.
In the 80s and 90s highlights were hair ripped through a cap or some foils, with high strength bleach and peroxide that lifted the hair fast but was in terrible condition, it was quick compared to now.
Also bear in mind small talk is made to not be rude an attempt to make you relax if we feel you are tense and for us to get to know you and your lifestyle for Skye suggestions.
Also the stylist maybe doesn’t like you coming in either and finds you extremely difficult to perform the service on.
In today’s day and age of social media clients have high expectations and are quick to complain on social media posting photos, naming and shaming salons and stylists.
It’s been a tough year for everyone, hairdressers have suffered a lot with many of them being self employed and not managing to survive without taking on another job like many other workers in different fields on employment.
Be kind, if you don’t like the hairdresser don’t go, use YouTube.