To hate going to the hairdressers?

[SebastianTheCrab]

I just hate it. I don't find it relaxing at all.

I hate being trapped in the chair for hours, having to make awkward small talk with the receptionists, assistant and hairdresser, staring at myself in the mirror, having to fob off the endless attempts to flog me products and expensive treatments, smiling and nodding at the end while they gush about how great my hair looks (are they complimenting me or themselves? I mean, I've just been sat on my arse scrolling Mumsnet for hours while they've done all the work?) and then fiddling about with tips for everyone at the end.

But today took the absolute biscuit. I went in for my once-yearly colour and ended up there for five hours. It killed my entire day. I had so many errands I was supposed to run today and had to bin my entire To Do list. I literally walked out in the middle of the blow dry so I could be on time to pick up my son from nursery.

I have no idea what they were doing for so long. They kept putting goop in my hair, washing a bit out, adding more goop, putting me under the heater thing, combing through, adding more goop etc etc. After 3 hours I asked how much longer it was going to take and my eyes nearly popped out of my head when they said 1.5 hours. It ended up taking a further 2.

And my hair looks almost exactly the same.

Dear hairdresser, this is massively obvious who I am if you read this - I'm sorry. I just hate going to the hairdressers!

I hate it too. I hate my head being touched. I hate being fussed over and I hate sitting still. I only go two or three times a year and only ever have a cut and blow dry, but because I have long, very thick hair it takes about an hour and that is more than long enough for me. No way could I sit there for 5 hours.
I view it as much like going to the dentist or the optician - a tedious necessity that has to be put up with every now and again.

I have mine coloured, which is what takes the time, but I don't hate going to the hairdresser. I was just trying to think of ways to make it less of a chore for those of you who hate it. I just take my kindle.

I mean I don’t particularly love the process, but I like having it cut professionally so it’s worth it for me! But I also just get it cut, no colour or anything and it rarely takes more than 45 min.

5 hours would be pretty torturous. But then presumably you can ask how long it’s going to take?! And they kind of leave you alone for a lot of it too

I hate it too.

My hair looks fantastic afterwards because my hairdresser is amazing, but the hours of chit chat are torture.

@NuniaBeeswax

"Haha, PREACH

Did you have a good first day back Nunia? I did. My clients are all dead nice tho"

I'm only a hairdresser of a canine variety, so maybe that's why I feel a bit strongly about this thread, haha. I've had my fair share of "I cAn Do BeTtEr MySelF!!!2" customers who inevitably come crawling back begging us to fix whatever mess they've made of their poor dog.

I do my own dog. Was told by a groomer not to clip my Chihuahua but I do. I clip him short in the summer and he looks great

Hairdressers don't handle your hair for no reason. They aren't just pawing you for fun. They are looking at the cutting pattern, the hair quality, product build up, any scalp issues or hair growth patterns.

The stuff about "oh my hairdresser wouldn't be interested in my interesting hobbies as is only into soaps and influencers" shit is out and out snobbery. People don't talk about their more obscure interests in those kind of relationships because of social norms, not because hairdressers can't read books or crochet or whatever you do that's so interesting.

A lot of the questions asked which seem like random chit chat are actually to get lifestyle information that can effect the service. Are you going on holiday? That might effect the level of peroxide used or whether a conditioning treatment is recommend. Are you planning a big New Years party? Then maybe you might want some advice on volumised styles or information on coming in for an updo.

There are bad hairdressers everywhere, of course. Just like there are bad teachers, bad nurses, bad social workers, bad taxi drivers, etc. Etc. But barbering and hairdressing have been serviced people paid for throughout history. They are not new. Hair services are something people pay for during both good times and bad. I believe people actually visit hairdressers and barbers more during times of recession.

Keep looking for the right fit, or learn to DIY (good luck with that! It's much easier to get the front right then the back!) but let's not pretend that this is anything but snobbery.

@AurorasLighthouse

Hairdressers don't handle your hair for no reason. They aren't just pawing you for fun. They are looking at the cutting pattern, the hair quality, product build up, any scalp issues or hair growth patterns.

The stuff about "oh my hairdresser wouldn't be interested in my interesting hobbies as is only into soaps and influencers" shit is out and out snobbery. People don't talk about their more obscure interests in those kind of relationships because of social norms, not because hairdressers can't read books or crochet or whatever you do that's so interesting.

A lot of the questions asked which seem like random chit chat are actually to get lifestyle information that can effect the service. Are you going on holiday? That might effect the level of peroxide used or whether a conditioning treatment is recommend. Are you planning a big New Years party? Then maybe you might want some advice on volumised styles or information on coming in for an updo.

There are bad hairdressers everywhere, of course. Just like there are bad teachers, bad nurses, bad social workers, bad taxi drivers, etc. Etc. But barbering and hairdressing have been serviced people paid for throughout history. They are not new. Hair services are something people pay for during both good times and bad. I believe people actually visit hairdressers and barbers more during times of recession.

Keep looking for the right fit, or learn to DIY (good luck with that! It's much easier to get the front right then the back!) but let's not pretend that this is anything but snobbery.

Yes to all this. I think it comes from the same place as all the toddler group hatred. “Oh I can’t be bothered with all that banal chat, i’m clever and special, not like them”. It’s code for “i’m not like other girls”. We live in a culture that tells us with subtle and not so subtle conditioning from the moment we are born that anything perceived as being the milieu of the feminine must automatically be stupid and boring and a waste of time, because females are stupid and boring and a waste of time. It’s internalised misogyny.

I have this convo quite a lot at work with my clients. We talk about a lot of different things. Or nothing at all, if that’s what some of them prefer. If people find themselves stuck in boring pointless conversations a lot of the time, perhaps they need to look closer to home for the cause. After all, a conversation requires two people.

I don't think it's snobbery. My hairdresser is really talented, she does a fantastic job and I respect her skills. No way could I recreate them at home, nor would I want to try, which is why I go to her.

That doesn't mean I have to like the process itself though.

I really can’t relate to last two posts.

I pay a lot for a haircut and part of the service they think I want is extras. I don’t. But I do appreciate the good cut. I’d like a slimmed down version so I get the cut without the rest.

It isn’t about chatting for me.

The worst bit for me is being plonked in front of a mirror and having to look at myself.

The last two about snobbery that is. I think all that is imagined.

It’s not that the conversation is boring, it’s that I’m having to converse with a person at all. I’m an extreme introvert. Chatting for hours is utterly exhausting.

I used to feel exactly the same. Then I became a parent. Now I love it

I hate it too. My hair is fine and knots easily and everything they do makes knots and then they yank the hair, by not taking care when combing it. Hate the head massage due to knots. Can’t stand having it washed twice as again it knots it up. Then they don’t understand that you have to comb it out starting from the ends up or they end up pulling hair out. Ugh. I don’t do the small talk as find if they are distracted they mess up. So it’s silence from me. Colour is the worst as it takes so long. I have solved that one by not colouring now.

@MadameButterface

Absolutely! It's the school of thought that hairdressers/beauticians/cleaners/carers/SAHM's and other traditionally female roles are for people who are too dim to have a high flying more traditionally male dominated career like lawyer/doctor/engineer. That women's spaces are just for idle shit chat and that nothing productive comes from a group of women conversing like the baby group/ the school mums/ the hairdressers/ the nail bar/ girls night/ bottomless brunch/ etc.

That women who value these roles and spaces do so because they are inferior and can't cut it in the wider world. That they are suspended in adolescence, two dimensional pretty faces with nothing going on behind their eyes, not real women with proper thoughts and feelings, just academically challenged halflings.

No I don't like it either. I only go if my hair looks absolutely awful and make sure I have a proper good chop so I don't have to go again for ages.
For some reason It makes me feel a bit inferior. They always ask me about style etc and I just feel really dumb when I hold my hand out and say 'just this much off please'

[quote AurorasLighthouse]@MadameButterface

Absolutely! It's the school of thought that hairdressers/beauticians/cleaners/carers/SAHM's and other traditionally female roles are for people who are too dim to have a high flying more traditionally male dominated career like lawyer/doctor/engineer. That women's spaces are just for idle shit chat and that nothing productive comes from a group of women conversing like the baby group/ the school mums/ the hairdressers/ the nail bar/ girls night/ bottomless brunch/ etc.

That women who value these roles and spaces do so because they are inferior and can't cut it in the wider world. That they are suspended in adolescence, two dimensional pretty faces with nothing going on behind their eyes, not real women with proper thoughts and feelings, just academically challenged halflings.

[/quote]

Tbh I don’t even chat and half the time the stylist is male

Absolutely hate it. Had a crop about 3 weeks ago to last me a while I hope, well past Christmas with luck.

I’m ok with it, given up home dyeing, cheap yes, messy and ruined stuff.
Short hair, colour, lovely burgundy colour, wet cut in between colour ( every 12 weeks).
Going next week, great

I hate looking at my face in the mirror. Ugh.

@NuniaBeeswax

Oh look, another sneery hairdressing thread. Why even bother getting it coloured if you're only going once a year? Just do what the rest of the MN Vidal Sassoons do and get out the kitchen scissors and a bottle of Clairol. Apparently they all look great.

Absolutely.

No skill involved. None.

Took me ages to find a hairdresser I didn't hate going to. My advice FWIW - I would keep trying new ones until you find one you like. Be honest with them 'I know some people love the pampering, but I want in and out as quickly as possible'.

I actually like going to the hairdresser now, I can read my kindle and relax...

I hate it too. I mean absolutely hate it. I stopped having my hair coloured for this reason. Also when I do get my haircut which necessitates somebody looking after my DD they go on about what a relaxing luxury it is and no, it really isn't.

I do think some people think hairdressers are mind readers. If you can't even tell them what you want done can you really complain if you leave with something different?

If you don't want to be sold products or advised on other services or aftercare, then you need to say so. If you need to leave at a certain time, tell them that. They might advise a different service. Its amazing how many resentments can be formed in any service industry when the customer expects the provider to know what they want without actually saying so!

"I have had a stressful week and am not in the mood to chat today" at the beginning of a service helps prevent a negative experience from chatting when you don't want to in the same way as telling the waiter how well done you want your steak. You can't complain if you didn't explain, basically.

I know that the stuff I said about women's spaces is not an absolute rule and does not apply to every hairdresser, but I do think there is a misogynistic culture around what is and isn't valued in our society. Much of it internalised misogyny. It's less obvious, but still just as systemic.