Children are your greatest achievement

[Lelophants]

Anyone feel the same or am I just a misery guts?

I love ds so much and think he is wonderful but I dont really see him an an achievement of mine! Mil and a few other people go on about how they've had lots of jobs but their children are their biggest achievements!

I just feel like if ds is a good person that's because of him!! Siblings can be vastly different with similar parenting. It can't all be down to me!

Is this something you feel later on? He is only a toddler.

It would be nice if he felt like an achievement I suppose!

Thank you!
It’s not easy and in the past been made to feel a fool for ‘paying my way’ ‘paying tax’ and putting in graft to buy things.

Was made to feel the biggest fool when I got a job and mortgage on a house and paid monthly instead of getting “a house for free”.

It’s paying off, I do have a better life than them and me and my kids certainly do have more “choice” which is our biggest plus over them, however as I pay for everything they do actually still have more free spending money than me....but not forever, I’ll grow above them in the next 5 years, I can feel it in my bones, I’m so close...it’s gonna be super super worth it soon....I’m just a few years away!!

I feel a degree of extra achievement with my DD because I have brought her up on my own without financial support and managed to build my career alongside that so I feel pride at having pulled that off while providing stability etc.

I know what you mean though... saying your kids are your greatest achievement assumes that you have totally moulded them which isn’t really correct.

Weird way to look at it. At what point do you "achieve child"? Conception? Birth? Graduation? I think next time I'm asked whether I have kids I'm going to respond with "yes, I achieved child in 2017" 😂

My kids are great but not because of me they are people they are their own acheivement thinks that's the soppiest thing I ever said about my kids I love them dearly

Weird way to look at it. At what point do you "achieve child"? Conception? Birth? Graduation?

I think in my case when I first knew I could do a whole day at work without thinking about whether she was going to kill herself.

So yeah, I don't think I have achieved my dd. But the fact that she is still alive is to a certain extent my achievement. That bit was never a given.

I didn't feel like this until I started working with parents and saw how a small minority really screw being a parent up and make their child very unhappy. I think I am a mediocre parent but I do try to make their lives as happy as possible (which is hard with teenagers!).

@WayTooSoon

Weird way to look at it. At what point do you "achieve child"? Conception? Birth? Graduation? I think next time I'm asked whether I have kids I'm going to respond with "yes, I achieved child in 2017" 😂

I would think when they’ve settled successfully into adult life. For most, getting pregnant is hardly an achievement; not getting pregnant might require more effort sometimes. Birth is fairly inevitable and not down to any skill usually.

Surely it’s integration into adulthood that is the marker of parental achievement?

It does depend on how you define achievement. If it's just something you have done, rather than something that required a certain level of effort from you. You did have the children and they wouldn't exist without you and all things considered they may be the thing you are happiest to have created even if some of the other achievements required a lot more effort and skill from you. After all we often celebrate people for things that come easy to them, their beauty or natural talents or good fortune, more so than their effort or even their hard work.

I’m hoping my doctorate will be my greatest achievement. My baby is a great thing but I literally did nothing consciously in the growing of him.

I think my daughter is her own achievement not mine.
That she does have a roof over her head, food and clothes is down to me, but the rest is hers. I do try to pass some of my "wisdom" to her, and advice her not to waste her time in life. But that is all that I do.
I miss the baby years.

My children are wonderful beings but I think fostering has been my greatest achievement.

This subject came up for us a while back. My ex told DD that being a mum was her greatest achievement. Given how successful she is in other areas of her life and especially academically, she was not impressed and vented to me about how upset she felt.

On later reflection though, I told her that I can see his point too. Both he and I finished school at 16 and didn't go on to further education (whereas she had her Masters degree in the bag at 22) so DD being the amazing woman she is and doing so well is our biggest success.

I would say yes my child is my biggest achievement because I would quit if I feel I'm not valued or my efforts not paying off in work or relationships or generally in life. I for one, was never able to keep a plant alive but I've managed to keep my child alive all loved and nurtured. He tests my patience, I sacrifice for him (lifestyle and flexibility and essential sleep) so yes, he his my biggest achievement as he is the reason why I am trying harder to set a good future for him and the reason why I wake up every morning so I could push harder for him. If this isn't an achievement for me to have gotten this far then what is?

Completely agree OP! No matter what I do, how hard I work, how proud I tried to make my family, not interested until I had a baby! 😂 I was really confused as, in terms of how hard I had to work to 'achieve' baby, well, not very! Whereas things I've slogged for for years not even worthy of a 'well done'. I think if I emerge sane in 18 years, well, that will be an achievement!
But I do agree with PP- active parenting (not just feeding a screaming baby, which I find incredibly difficult in itself) looks bloody hard; mine can't answer back yet so I may find it a massive achievement if I manage to raise a well adjusted, polite, happy child!

I'm reasonably happy with the way my children have turned out, and I put a lot of effort into that, so I count it as an achievement.

And since I haven't had a successful career, or swum the channel, or saved a life, or painted a picture, or set up a food bank, or anything else that people have mentioned, it's probably the best one. Right now I can't think of anything other than my karate black belt that even comes into the same category, never mind approaching the same level.

Hell yes they are my greatest achievement!

Nearly 15 years. Every single day they've been fed and I've known exactly where they are.

I haven't put that much effort into anything else in my life LOL.

I think mine are an achievement, yes. As they have grown up more and more of their achievements are their own of course but their core values are influenced by me to a certain extent. Obviously they have core values of their own but ones like an interest in sport/education/books/art whatever can come from the parent who encouraged them from an early age.