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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend thinks I'm lying about being pregnant

122 replies

Sillylemonade1 · 30/11/2020 18:25

I did a pregnancy test this afternoon and I got the faintest line ever, but there's still a line and its with an frer so a decent test. Messaged boyfriend and told him, he was really happy despite it being unplanned.

He comes in from work, I show him and explain its really faint but a line is a line at the end of the day. And he just scoffs at me and says he can't see anything, and says oh so I'm not pregnant then.

I got quite upset and that's what I want to know is am I being unreasonable to be upset by his comment, it was just how he laughed at me and I feel like he's making it out that I've lied, or that I'm seeing things. I've had a cry about it but its really bugged me.

Im obviously doing another test in the morning and that should show a little more although I don't know how much more it would be visible.

OP posts:
WheresMyMask · 30/11/2020 20:24

It's absolutely impossible to use 'natural contraception' and avoid fertile days if you periods are allllllllll over the place.

Original poster
Sillylemonade1 · 30/11/2020 20:24

@AlrightTreacle yes starting to wish I didn't ever post in the first place now, everything seems to get twisted.

I didn't think this method would be awful as its even on the NHS website, id done my research before going ahead with it and its done me fine till now.

Thanks to anyone who was helpful, and made me realise he was most likely disappointment that he couldn't see something.

OP posts:
helpmum2003 · 30/11/2020 20:24

OP if you have an irregular cycle this method will not be reliable. By the time you get a temperature rise and have ovulated it's too late as any sperm already in your system could fertilise. You are taking big risks. Especially in a 7 month relationship conducted over a pandemic....

RedskyAtnight · 30/11/2020 20:27

The NHS website says it's not a good method to use if you have irregular cycles. So I'd question how much "research" you have done! How long were you tracking your cycle, before you decided to use this method?

HopeAndDriftWood · 30/11/2020 20:29

@Sillylemonade1 The app was all over the news a few years ago, because hundreds of people had conceived on it. The theory worked for the people who designed it, but don’t seem to for a lot of people! And they won’t work at all if there’s any variance in your periods, and even then it’s sketchy. Sperm can live for 7 days inside you, so sex six days before you ovulate can still get you pregnant; and natural cycles wouldn’t know.

That said, I hope you and your partner sort things out. It sounds like perhaps he’s just shocked, and didn’t realise how faint the line would be.

Original poster
Sillylemonade1 · 30/11/2020 20:30

@WheresMyMask its done my temperature so why not? Its not done by tracking my periods.

I've obviously made a mistake with it but this is literally not what my post was even about how have we got to this point from my original post.

Some of you are really quite rude, I didn't realise it would be like this on here! Cheers to the supportive mumsy community lol hope you all have a pleasant rest of your evening.

OP posts:
CloudyVanilla · 30/11/2020 20:30

It's irresponsible to use cycle tracking with irregular cycles. All information available on NFP says so.

I have on the dot 28 day cycles and I'm still too scared to rely on NFP even though the theory sounds great

We have to take responsibility for such things if we don't want to get pregnant. You sound too passive in your situation - I would highly recommend sorting out a barrier and long term contraception method. Good luck!

MawkishHawk · 30/11/2020 20:31

a 7 month relationship conducted over a pandemic....
That’s a bloody good point. Most of us haven’t been able to see our existing family let alone meet someone and create a new one.

PrincessNutNut · 30/11/2020 20:32

I had been using a natural conception its called 'natural cycles' which tells you what days are safe and not safe to have sex by your temp but quite clearly that has not worked for me

That would be not using contraception, then. And with irregular periods to boot?? And even you think it's so unreliable, you test randomly to see if you're pregnant??

Oh well, look. If you're both happy to have a child then not using contraception isn't an issue. The guy wasn't accusing you of lying, he was saying you were mistaken, which is entirely possible when you've got a squinter of a test. If you don't want kids in future, for the love of God use an actual contraception. I'm sure you know the old joke about the correct term for people who use the rhythm method.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 30/11/2020 20:35

Not quite sure how you meet someone new during lockdown and end up pregnant.

Also testing so you don’t end up pregnant and giving birth without knowing isn’t something most do. Not using contraceptives and testing are usually the actions of those TTC.

ImFree2doasiwant · 30/11/2020 20:37

@Sillylemonade1 because you werent using contraception. You were having unprotected sex.

SeasonFinale · 30/11/2020 20:37

I would say he is relieved rather than disappointment.

ChinChilly · 30/11/2020 20:39

There are some really rude comments on here that have completely gone away from the point of the post! I don’t understand why you would even reply if you are just going to be rude and patronising.

I’ve seen this natural cycles advertised and I have to say it comes across convincing, it claims it is just as effective as the pill 🤔 and lots of people use if successfully.

@Sillylemonade1 some men don’t believe it until they see a strong line, I’m not sure they realise with a pregnancy test a line is a line! Hopefully you’ll get a stronger line over the next few days ☺️ Aslong as you are both happy, good luck!

Audreyseyebrows · 30/11/2020 20:40

Natural contraception my arse (would be 100% more reliable than testing your temp I’m sure!).

How do you feel about the pregnancy?

listeddd · 30/11/2020 20:40

@Sillylemonade1 no one has been rude. Your story just doesn't add up and from our perspective, it looks very much like your were TTC. That's just how it looks, we may be wrong 🤷‍♀️

Thewithesarehere · 30/11/2020 20:44

I had been using a natural conception its called 'natural cycles' which tells you what days are safe and not safe to have sex by your temp but quite clearly that has not worked for me
There is a name for the people who use this method of contraception: parents. Hmm

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 30/11/2020 20:44

FFS you were clearly trying to get pregnant as you were on no contraception and taking regular pregnancy tests.

Focus on the kids you already have a bit more! This is all so messed up. He needs to grow up and stop sleeping with you if he doesn’t want to end up with another child being in the picture.

Bookworming · 30/11/2020 20:45

I didn't think this method would be awful as its even on the NHS website, id done my research before going ahead with it and its done me fine till now.

You've not researched this or you wouldn't be using it as "contraception" as you've got irregular periods.

It's done you fine until now?

Didn't work for long, did it?

You randomly pregnancy test, even though you feel the "contraception" was a reliable method?

Your boyfriend is possibly hoping the test is negative, it's a massive commitment after only seeing each other for seven months. Are you happy if you are pregnant? Is your boyfriend on board being a father?

PattyPan · 30/11/2020 20:46

I voted YABU because natural contraception can be great, but it’s not reliable if you have irregular periods and all the information I’ve seen has been very clear on that.

Wait a few days before testing again and show your boyfriend the stronger line. He wasn’t BU, sometimes it can be very difficult to see the faint lines.

Nottherealslimshady · 30/11/2020 20:48

DH husband didn't believe faint lines. We had one early miscarriage where the line never got dark and he never really got into it, but di obviously support me when it destroyed me. With the next he didn't really believe it right up until the test line was darker than the control and really believed it once we'd seen the heart beat.

Thewithesarehere · 30/11/2020 20:49

I voted YABU because natural contraception can be great
Stop using the word contraception. It’s anything but.

CorianderQueen · 30/11/2020 20:52

The rhythm method doesn't work if your periods are 'all over the place'. I mean, it is only 76% effective if used absolutely perfectly on the ideal woman.

So it's a 1 in 4 chance of you getting pregnant aka not really contraception.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 30/11/2020 20:53

I thought he was 'over the moon'?

contactusdeletus · 30/11/2020 20:53

Red flags galore in this.

Interesting that OP went straight to the accusatory "he thinks I'm lying" instead of just assuming he thinks she's got a bit carried away. If my boyfriend was a-okay with potential pregnancy and had the same laughing reaction to a faint test, that is not where my mind would go.

yelyah22 · 30/11/2020 20:55

Someone I know was using that app. Was pregnant within 4 months of stopping using condoms (i.e. the bit once it's tracked your body and is 'safe'). Load of shit.