Don't feel very intelligent, confidence issue

[Insertfunnyusername1]

I think there are different kinds of intelligence for sure, for instance i'm gifted in languages and have a degree in them, I enjoy creative writing and I work as a Maths teacher.

However, I seem to lack knowledge and don't read a lot. I have zero interest in Philosophy or reading anything 'highbrow'.
I don't have much interest in politics. I have a general idea of main historical events but again couldn't give an in-depth explanation of anything.

I see other girls poring over Kafka or Camus and I just find it pretentious.
I like reading magazines, Heat, Closer etc.
I read the news a lot and have an understanding of current affairs, but I like reading the Daily Mail.

I have a boyfriend and sometimes when he makes references I have no idea what he's talking about. He will ask, "What's the name of the guy who invented X ?" or, "Have you read the book on X subject ?"

And I will just have no idea. Or, he will tell me about a historical event and I will just nod because I won't understand it at all. I tend to say things that come across as dumb and he laughs, I just feel a bit insecure.

The same with cooking too. I can cook, i'm no chef but I can do all the basics, he's very into cooking and will say, "Oh it would be better if you used X or if you bought X to cook with.", or he will have to show me how to do things.

I'm decent enough at my hobbies but not amazing at anything. He will show me artists on Instagram and say, "She's an amazing artist" and stuff, but he would never consider me an artist.

I shouldn't feel like this. I'm great as I am and i've worked hard, why do I feel stupid ? Just want to boost my confidence in this area. I'm finding that i'm trying to read/watch things in order to have more interesting discussion with him.

I like reading the Daily Mail

This is the first time I’ve ever encountered a DM reader who has acknowledged that they’re lacking intelligence.

Anyone who can do maths is a total genius in my book! We all have intelligence at different levels and can express it in different ways. Don’t compare yourself to other people when it comes to that because it just ends up as a never ending circle of self doubt!!!

Everyone is good in something else. You can't know everything. Obviously it is good, and in my opinion a must, to have solid general knowledge, but that doesn't mean you must read Kafka or know every historical event.

You are right. There are different types of intelligence. I am good with languages but throw some algebra or geometry at me and I crumble.

I have a friend who is very into us and uk politics. I have no idea and just nod. On the other hand he couldn't pinpoint Belarus on a map.

Essentially it all comes down to this.
No one is great in everything and if you will keep comparing yourself to others, you will just make yourself miserable.
You are good in what you do, that's all that matters.

Also. Try to lead the conversation sometimes. You will see that others are in a same boat when you talk about something you know.

Also. According to tests, above average intelligence here.
Yet the funniest thing for me is a fart. I can't help it. I giggle. Family guy kills me🤷🏻

None of us are perfect😂

Thank you. He jokes that he's 'giving me lectures'. I just worry that he will meet somebody more on his 'wavelength' and that we are not compatible.
It's the same with music. I think I like a wide range of music but he seems to only like bands that nobody has ever heard of, and it's the same again, me having to tell him that I have no idea.

@BunnyMacDougal

I like reading the Daily Mail

This is the first time I’ve ever encountered a DM reader who has acknowledged that they’re lacking intelligence.

At least the OP admits to reading it unlike what seems like half of Mumsnet...

If your main source of news is the DM, then it's likely that your understanding of current affairs is pretty flawed. There's nothing wrong with glancing at it from an alternative point of view whilst reading around, but its journalism is heavily dumbed down, and they carry a particularly nasty agenda.

I’m interested in all the things you are not interested in! I don’t think I’m pretentious or particularly intelligent for that matter

Used to work with a girl who seemed to know everything. She was 5 years younger than me and just very confident, she had an answer for every topic.
I try to lead conversation but still, he always seems to know more than me.
Today, I tried to tell him two interesting things and he one-upped me again.

I also read the BBC and metro, sometimes the Guardian.

@Insertfunnyusername1

Thank you. He jokes that he's 'giving me lectures'. I just worry that he will meet somebody more on his 'wavelength' and that we are not compatible. It's the same with music. I think I like a wide range of music but he seems to only like bands that nobody has ever heard of, and it's the same again, me having to tell him that I have no idea.

Maybe he is the problem 😂 I eyeroll so hard at the people who think they are superior because they do something they think is special.

Re the Daily Mail.
Nearly everyone reads it. Or at least headings. They have aome special apocalyptic talents there😁

The older I've gotten the most interesting people I know are those who are interested in lots of things (including a bit of rubbish tele) and also those who try new things. Based on what you've said above I think this would describe you.

An old boyfriend of mine was snooty about my lack of knowledge about wine. An obsession with 'taste and culture' becomes dull after a while.

I do get a sense of pretentiousness from him, maybe i'm just being too harsh.

The issue is the boyfriend. Why would you want to be with someone who makes you feel stupid or inferior?

Reading your other update. Now no joking. He IS the problem.

“I try to lead conversation but still, he always seems to know more than me”

Are you sure he actually knows what he’s on about?

I have travelled to many places and like to learn about other countries and cultures.

I thought i'd tell him something new, and he said, "Yeah I know, it's because of xyz".
It might just be in my head, but i'm older than him yet sometimes feel like a little girl for some reason.

Reading your updates it's clearly a BF problem. There are ways to share information that don't make the other person feel stupid.

I would just broaden your reading material to encounter different perspectives. Oh and think about the dynamics of your relationship if your concerned about one up manship?

Your bf seems to enjoy making you feel like this, he's not even being very subtle. Ditch him.

I'll just leave this here:

www.linkedin.com/pulse/less-you-know-more-think-dont-what-cesar-ramos

It doesn't sound like it's in your head.

If you wanna up him in music btw. Hunnu rock. The Hu are awesome.

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Also. According to tests, above average intelligence here. Yet the funniest thing for me is a fart. I can't help it. I giggle. Family guy kills me🤷🏻

None of us are perfect😂

Same here - I have a serious job, consider myself fairly clever but a fart is the funniest thing. Bought dh a fart machine last Christmas- he loved it - he's a solicitor and used to be a partner in a law firm in London.

I agree with pp - try and steer the conversation to your areas of interest.

Thanks, it's not that I want to one-up him, just want to be equal. I want to be asked about my achievements and to be asked to teach people things.
It's like sometimes when i'm drawing, he will take the pencil from me and 'show' me how to do it, or will tell me how I could improve without me asking for his advice.