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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Don't feel very intelligent, confidence issue

80 replies

Insertfunnyusername1 · 29/11/2020 14:20

I think there are different kinds of intelligence for sure, for instance i'm gifted in languages and have a degree in them, I enjoy creative writing and I work as a Maths teacher.

However, I seem to lack knowledge and don't read a lot. I have zero interest in Philosophy or reading anything 'highbrow'.
I don't have much interest in politics. I have a general idea of main historical events but again couldn't give an in-depth explanation of anything.

I see other girls poring over Kafka or Camus and I just find it pretentious.
I like reading magazines, Heat, Closer etc.
I read the news a lot and have an understanding of current affairs, but I like reading the Daily Mail.

I have a boyfriend and sometimes when he makes references I have no idea what he's talking about. He will ask, "What's the name of the guy who invented X ?" or, "Have you read the book on X subject ?"

And I will just have no idea. Or, he will tell me about a historical event and I will just nod because I won't understand it at all. I tend to say things that come across as dumb and he laughs, I just feel a bit insecure.

The same with cooking too. I can cook, i'm no chef but I can do all the basics, he's very into cooking and will say, "Oh it would be better if you used X or if you bought X to cook with.", or he will have to show me how to do things.

I'm decent enough at my hobbies but not amazing at anything. He will show me artists on Instagram and say, "She's an amazing artist" and stuff, but he would never consider me an artist.

I shouldn't feel like this. I'm great as I am and i've worked hard, why do I feel stupid ? Just want to boost my confidence in this area. I'm finding that i'm trying to read/watch things in order to have more interesting discussion with him.

OP posts:
OwlOneAmorFati · 29/11/2020 21:17

You teach maths, you like languages too, you have an opinion on Camus, and you think you're stupid? This is a boyfriend problem.

ChochoCrazyCat · 29/11/2020 21:27

Also, I have read Camus and many world classics in different languages (I speak 4) but also enjoy crap TV such as Don't Tell the Bride or those police chase reality programmes. I don't feel like I have to prove anything to anyone.
You don't always have to do serious or intellectual things.

DameFanny · 29/11/2020 22:11

@Bluntness100 she wasn't saying she approached the mensa paper that way, she was saying that's how she approaches problems in real life.

I'm not in mensa and I could see that ¯\(ツ)/¯

DameFanny · 29/11/2020 22:14

And OP - your boyfriend's an absolute knob. Does he correct you when you speak other languages as well? Tell you the place you traveled in isn't the way you remember it?

AiryFairyMum · 29/11/2020 22:22

Honestly, I'd worry about the debt too. That's a lot to owe - or is it student loans?

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