To give DDs their Xmas / birthday gifts today?

[elfycat]

DH thinks we should wait until Xmas day to give them their new laptops ( we're picking them up now). His reasons are that they will have have the best present of the season on that day.

I think they should have them today. DD1's is replacing a broken one (her present from 3 years ago) and the insurance paid out approx half of the cost of this new one. I asked her to wait (4 months) in getting the replacement until the Black Friday sales so we could upgrade it with this years Xmas budget and get it in the sale to upgrade it further still. She's using a slow and previously broken/ repaired one now.

DD2's birthday was last week. This is her combined present and while she had a piece of plastic tat from us to open ( and an office chair for her desk area from my parents) we haven't given her much of a birthday present. She is currently using my old broken laptop with completely dead battery. It switches off immediately if the charger comes out. She preferred mine over her terrible one ( the one DD1 is using at the moment).

My argument is that they already part own these new computers and are frustrated by the heaps of shit they currently use ( with good reason) and who are we to deny them the use of the decent upgrade they already morally part-own for a showy Xmas morning.

AIBU?

How old are the children?

12 and 10. The 12 year old is doing more and more homework online and wants to start programming/ making digital art.

10 year old loves Roblox and gaming with her sister.

They're sensible and have set up their own workstations.

They obviously know what they are getting so I can't see the point of waiting until the big day,just buy them some little surprise gifts to open xmas morning.

I’d give them the laptops now. My DD got her new phone this week, which is her Christmas present. She’ll get some smaller presents on the day. She’s 12 so understands.

Is your tree up yet?
I’d talk everyone into doing the tree this weekend, then at the last minute put the wrapped laptops underneath and say, “oooooh? A tree decoration present?!”
Make a big thing of a big present... then once the excitement has died down, remind them that Xmas came early, so it’ll be just a chocolate orange and some socks on 25th.

Wait!! I never understood why people (parents) do this. Wait and give them a magical Christmas!

I would give them to them. I've sort of the same problem. My oldest is getting a new phone to replace her knackered one. As we've managed to get a good deal on the iPhone 12 dh wants to keep it till Xmas morning to surprise her (she thinks she's getting a older model) but as she drives I hate her not having a realisable phone on her. We've compromised with younger dd giving her a shot of hers for a few weeks but it seems a bit daft when I've the new boxed one hidden in a cupboard.

Wait. They’re too young imo and will expect large presents Christmas Day too?

Have you got them things to open on Christmas Day? If yes, give them their laptops now but make sure they know that’s their big present. If no, I’d wait.

I wouldn't personally have promised something that's required for practical reasons as a Christmas/birthday present. Couldn't you give them the laptops and get separate/smaller presents for Christmas?

I think in this situation, you should give them to them now. If they are replacements/birthdays already past then it is mean to make them wait til Christmas.

I would give them if they have a few gifts to open on Christmas Day to make it exciting. It’s f not I would wait.

Sorry, hit send by accident. I had the same issue with DD. Her laptop broke (my old one), so I got her a new one. My friend said I should wait until Christmas as it is such a big thing, but I said it isn't a Christmas gift, it is a replacement for something that she needs (and to keep her off mine, which is needed for work and I won't allow her on it).

I'd wait. It's something for them to look forward to on Christmas day.
They're still using the old ones (albeit knackered) so not completely without and still more than a lot of kids have access to.

Are they having something to open on Christmas Day?

I know because of money, even necessary things have to be presents but as it's not a surprise and they've been partly funded they should have them now with other bits for Christmas day

I might add that is no 'magic of Christmas' in our house. They've known for years that Father Christmas isn't real ( and been sworn to secrecy at school).

We put decorations up in the last few days. We're not Christians ( probably a bit more mid- winter paganism in our festivities, but are not religious in any way).

They are pragmatic and understand that there will be little bits to open but nothing else big. We do a mini 'big' present opening, but we open gifts over hours or even days. It works for us.

If it's a birthday present, give it today
If it's a Christmas present, give it on Christmas morning
If it's an essential she needs replacing then give it today but don't call it a Christmas present.

I'd give them now and wrap some smaller fun things under the tree

It's a few weeks away. They can wait until then. Christmas will be a letdown otherwise.

Its a tough one cos I see it from both sides.
I have 2 DSC who are the same ages and both have birthdays within a few weeks of Christmas and are asking for bigger and bigger gifts that we often make combined birthfay/Christmas gifts.
We use the rule of thumb that they get the gift on whatever comes first so birthday for DSC1 and Christmas for DSC2.
This works for us.

I think you’re being quite tight actually; not only making one of them wait for months on end for a replacement so you can get it cheaper but then to say it should be her Christmas present too.

Give now, but don’t call them Christmas presents because they’re certainly not.

Totally with you, they’re old enough to understand the dynamics of the present (being birthday/Christmas/part replacement) and therefore shouldn’t expect too much on ‘the big day’. I think if you explain the above on giving the gift they will understand, they sound like very reasonable children

@Oysterbabe

It's a few weeks away. They can wait until then. Christmas will be a letdown otherwise.

Sounds like Christmas is already a letdown in their house given the OP’s last update.

The ages they are, I would just give them to them now. They know what they are getting anyway, so I fail to see where the magic of Christmas morning would be coming from.

If your budget allows it, can you pick them up some cheap bits to open on Christmas morning?

@emilyfrost

I think you’re being quite tight actually; not only making one of them wait for months on end for a replacement so you can get it cheaper but then to say it should be her Christmas present too.

Give now, but don’t call them Christmas presents because they’re certainly not.

But some people are really not in the financial position to do otherwise. I have friends where they are struggling to buy even a few gifts and have had to had a talk with their children about their presents being small and few this year. OP I don’t think you’re right, I think you’re being sensible and showing the children that expensive gifts aren’t always achievable - in fact they are lucky in comparison with some families x