To give DDs their Xmas / birthday gifts today?

[elfycat]

DH thinks we should wait until Xmas day to give them their new laptops ( we're picking them up now). His reasons are that they will have have the best present of the season on that day.

I think they should have them today. DD1's is replacing a broken one (her present from 3 years ago) and the insurance paid out approx half of the cost of this new one. I asked her to wait (4 months) in getting the replacement until the Black Friday sales so we could upgrade it with this years Xmas budget and get it in the sale to upgrade it further still. She's using a slow and previously broken/ repaired one now.

DD2's birthday was last week. This is her combined present and while she had a piece of plastic tat from us to open ( and an office chair for her desk area from my parents) we haven't given her much of a birthday present. She is currently using my old broken laptop with completely dead battery. It switches off immediately if the charger comes out. She preferred mine over her terrible one ( the one DD1 is using at the moment).

My argument is that they already part own these new computers and are frustrated by the heaps of shit they currently use ( with good reason) and who are we to deny them the use of the decent upgrade they already morally part-own for a showy Xmas morning.

AIBU?

@emilyfrost

I think you’re being quite tight actually; not only making one of them wait for months on end for a replacement so you can get it cheaper but then to say it should be her Christmas present too.

Give now, but don’t call them Christmas presents because they’re certainly not.

Not everyone has the budget to splash out on two laptops at once. I don't see what is tight about waiting to make a large purchase.

I agree with you. They know what they're getting and they know it's their gift. They'd rather have them now wouldn't they?

We have the same issue here (although iPhone) but decided to wait. Christmas is going to be a pretty paltry affair compared to most years, so at least she’ll have ONE much longer-for gift to be excited about.

Christmas isn't just about gifts.

In your scenario I'd give them the laptops now. I'd buy small gifts for Xmas day.

If you give them their Christmas gifts today, Christmas Day will be very flat!
It’s only about 4 weeks, wait for pities sake.

I'd give them now. Saw brilliant thing in newspaper about using loads of balloons (ethically produced), putting change in them and filling sitting room xmas night ready for xmas morning.

@emilyfrost

I think you’re being quite tight actually; not only making one of them wait for months on end for a replacement so you can get it cheaper but then to say it should be her Christmas present too.

Give now, but don’t call them Christmas presents because they’re certainly not.

I agree. What a disappointing Christmas all round.

For the sake of four weeks, I'd wait. If you give them now the laptops will have no significance as "gifts".

Also a bit of delayed gratification can go a long way.

YANBU.

Rather use the new working laptop than spend weeks waiting for one day out of the year because it’s “Christmas”. Get them some inexpensive gifts to open if it matter to them.

I'd wait. My dd has wanted a new phone for Xmas for ages now, she's knows it's highly likely she'll get one (we've already bought it), but this week she's broken her current one. We did you with the idea of giving her the new one but decided not to, she can have it on Xmas day. She'll actually being ok without her phone (surprisingly) so I'm hooding she'll be thrilled Xmas day. We haven't bought her much else as were spending so much on the Phoenix.

Give them to them! They obviously need them and the younger one has had her birthday already!

Your husband has to ask himself who gift giving is supposed to benefit.

@phoenixrosehere

YANBU.

Rather use the new working laptop than spend weeks waiting for one day out of the year because it’s “Christmas”. Get them some inexpensive gifts to open if it matter to them.

I agree, especially as one is a partial birthday present and the other is half an insurance claim with the DD will use for home work

Just give them to them now because you've said you don't have a magical Xmas etc. Makes me a bit sad tho reading your post because I hava a ten year old son and Xmas is still completely magical for us. We don't spoil them any other time apart from Xmas.

I would make them wait - its only a few weeks and they'll appreciate it more on the day. Especially when the youngest mainly wants to game on it. I wouldn't do joint birthday/xmas gifts again as it gets tricky.

I think regardless of their age they will still be more excited to have it on the day and giving it now might be a bit disappointing (regardless of prepping them on only getting small gifts)

I’ve already commented but I’ve been thinking about it some more and trying to think back to when I was 10/12.

I would have wanted to open it on Christmas Day. They’re already coping with the less than perfect laptops so another three weeks will be ok. I would have wanted to magical Christmas morning with my presents even if I knew what was in it.

As a family, it also takes us ages to open presents. We don’t do a mad rush of everyone at once. We’re quite set on actually appreciating each present we open and watching what others have received too. It’s not about the magic for us (although we do have that too) but about not taking the presents for granted.

Either the laptops are "needed" so much so that they shouldn't be classed as presents full stop and you need to budget for some actual presents (just like if you'd had the expense of a new bed for them or similar) or they're presents in which case save them till 25th Dec.

They may say they understand now but in years to come this will probably be the Christmas they look back on as having no presents.

Delayed gratification...

Wait until Christmas and it will be double special:)

Not long to go now...

Just wait. It's 27 days away.

So I bought my 7 year old a laptop was meant to be for Xmas but now she has had it for over a month ! However I no longer include it in her Xmas list as it was my decision to give it her ( she is off school )
So I had to get her something else 🤣

I would definitely give them them today

I would definitely give them now because- one is actually a birthday present which hasn't been given yet (and half Christmas, but she's had the birthday), and one is an insurance job and the child's waited 4 months already.

I'm all for tying in big presents with Christmas and birthdays if you can, but this seems stretching it a bit, I wouldn't leave a computer for 5 months if it was broken just to wait to Chrismas, I'd get a new one.

I'd give something smaller at Christmas and be honest that's what's happened this year- they've had the big thing when they needed it and so it'll be a nice book, smellies and some small treats on the day itself.

This might be driven by the fact my kids are later teens though and so for them a computer is so essential for school work I just get them what they need when they need it, although we always buy reconditioned high spec anyway to make the money go much further.

Wait until Christmas and it will be double special

How is it double special or even delayed gratification since the laptops they have barely work?

If they are necessities, would you really delay for that long just for the sake of a holiday?

OP, why not just ask the kids themselves what they rather do? They sound old enough to understand.

My 12 year old is getting her main present (new phone) next week...she knows she's getting it and needs/wants it now...it's fine. Older DD will be having hers early too...they'll both get more to open on the day. It's fine!

I've been in that position with ££ hockey goalie kit, music stuff etc that were needed. Equally we've also bought her "experiences" that obviously happen before/after Christmas Day.

We have a very relaxed attitude to Christmas so we've always given DD the choice and then reminded her that her stocking is going to be a bit light.

PS: DD has really done some lovely digital drawing this lockdown

It doesn't sound like they really need them now. They are both using their computers for mainly leisure activities. It would be a bit different if they were older and working on long essays that need a lot of online research and the slow computer was hugely effecting their productivity. Presumably they are both expecting to get them for Christmas, from what you've said? I would wait. It's a good life lesson to learn that you can't have everything you want straightaway. Also, at that age, opening presents and looking forward to them, even if you know what they are, is an important part of Christmas. Delayed gratification can make things even more enjoyable.