To eat the same portion size as him?

[AlexiaSox]

When I dish up for me and DP, I always give us the same amount of food. Same if we eat out, e.g we'll both order our own pizza and eat the whole thing (we both have pretty good appetites), and maybe share a salad.

The thing is, he is a tall guy, over 6ft, and I am much smaller...

Neither of us are overweight but I guess I am at the very top end of healthy weight.

So my question is, AIBU and should I generally eat a slightly smaller portion than him? I hate the idea of a 'dainty woman's portion' but is it just common sense?

What do you do?

I eat exactly the same portion size as my DH, but he snacks between meals more.

Also DH likes bread with his evening meal, which I have never bothered with.

It's not a dainty woman's portion, its a portion that suits your needs. Eating a meal is not a feminist competition where you must get the same as a man. Eat what you want and if you're worried about overeating then cut back on your own portion.

I think this is exactly what is happening to me! I will have to try and eat slower, because if I have a smaller amount I will finish it quicker and then have to watch him eat... And will probably be tempted for seconds

My DH eats very quickly, so that's one problem I didn't have! But yeah, in your position then I would get it sorted now. Losing weight is so incredibly boring, and it's so much easier just to maintain a weight you're happy with in the first place.

@BigFatLiar

It's not a dainty woman's portion, its a portion that suits your needs. Eating a meal is not a feminist competition where you must get the same as a man. Eat what you want and if you're worried about overeating then cut back on your own portion.

The feminist argument is that portions are designed for large men but not smaller women.

Therefore the feminist argument is that there should be 1/2 or 2/3 sized portions available on menus to cater appropriately for women based on their needs rather than charging them more/creating more waste.

The feminist argument is that portions are designed for large men but not smaller women.

But she's the one dishing up the portion.

You don't need the same amount of food, if you want it and feel satisfied go ahead.
Our portions are hugely different I'd never fit in what DP eats he is 6ft2 18.5 stone whereas I'm 5ft3 7.9 stone we got a chinese where you choose 4 items I was determined to finish it and not share after 50% I was done DP happily added my half to his full.
The more you eat the bigger storage you create.
My niece was shocked when she realise 2000's daily isn't for every woman she is 5ft 2.

I go easy on the pasta and have the same amount of sauce, and fill up on veg / salad. My plate looks full, but less pasta or rice makes a lot of difference.

Oh yes, also agree very much with PP on this. Don't know if your DP is the same, OP, but mine was a bit of a stereotype when we first started living together. Lots of carbs and a token bit of veg. After a couple of years together I spearheaded a bit of a campaign to change our diet to include more veg and less starch, which has been great for his health as well as mine, and he's a way better cook now than he was then as result. So food is still a common project and something we both really enjoy sharing, and it feels more genuinely shared than it did when I felt like I had to choose between eating what he did and getting fat, vs. always having to watch my portion sizes. Once you start eating lots more veg, it feels like less of a constant struggle against deprivation.

We tend to eat the same portions for dinner but he often has snacks and desserts and I don't. He also had breakfast which I don't

I eat the same size as DH. I'm 5"4 and weigh 9 stone; he's 5"10 and weighs around 12 probs. Can't bring myself to care while I'm still slim.

I serve him more, then usually the plates look the same when everything is on it and I can't remember which is mine.. probably why I am on the upper end of a healthy weight and he is thin.

Unless you are a 6ft woman who works out very intensively, you don't have the same calorie requirements as your DH so yabu and it's likely you are over eating.

However, if you don't mind that you are likely to gain weight then it doesn't really matter!

@BigFatLiar

The feminist argument is that portions are designed for large men but not smaller women.

But she's the one dishing up the portion.

It happens when he cooks too - we just always eat the same. He doesn't ever suggest I should have less. It has just occurred to me lately. Maybe I need to take up rugby or something!

My DH is a big 6 foot man, I am a small 5 foot 1 inch woman. If I had eaten the same as him for the past 30 years I would be the size of a house! Of course I eat less - fortunately I eat much slower than him, so he is usually finished before me in any case.

The only time I ate as much as my DH was when I was breastfeeding and absolutely starving. And yes, I piled on the weight. Lesson learned - smaller body = smaller portions.

I eat the same size portions when we're out usually, because we don't go out for meals often enough that it makes a significant impact.

Otherwise, I eat far less as I weigh about 40kg less than dh. I run 70 - 80 miles per week, do all the dog walking and spin and still need to eat less than he does to maintain my weight. I am a BMI of around 21, so decidedly average. Just different calorie requirements.

When I was first married I started doing this without thinking. I’m 5’2 and 5’11. I realised my mistake when I put on weight and stopped doing it. This was 30 years ago. However, I do tend to eat what’s on my plate and many don’t. I think you definitely should need less food than someone bigger but then some people are more active than others, burn calories off quicker etc so hard to say.

What a strange question. It totally depends on your calorie requirements and also what you eat overall in a day.

If you eat very little until dinner, then why would a large portion be an issue? If you're happy being the higher end of your BMI then carry on as you are unless you want to lose weight?

As some others have also said, dh eats too fast and I eat slowly, so finish around the same time, or me last, so I don't feel like I eat less and then have to wait which I do think makes a difference.

It happens when he cooks too - we just always eat the same. He doesn't ever suggest I should have less. It has just occurred to me lately. Maybe I need to take up rugby or something!

Just tell him you don't want such a big helping. Its not compulsory to eat as much as him. If there is too much just don't finish it.

@BigFatLiar

It's not a dainty woman's portion, its a portion that suits your needs. Eating a meal is not a feminist competition where you must get the same as a man. Eat what you want and if you're worried about overeating then cut back on your own portion.

Exactly this ^^

Sums it up perfectly.

Totally depends on what you eat the rest of the day. If you arent gaining weight thats great but your calorie needs vary based on age, activity etc. As long as you arent eating above maintenance calories you wont gain weight so you can eat big meals with DH as long as you arent eating big meals and snacks all day that take you into a calorie surplus.

DP does most of the cooking in our house and he always asks me to serve myself so I get the portion I want, not how much he thinks I should eat.

Those posters who give their partners a much bigger dinner portion because they ‘need it due to... x y z’

I assume they’re all within a healthy weight range and not overweight?

And that they need more calories at dinner than you... because you’ve calculated how many calories they’ve eaten that day to be sure?

If not, would it occur to you that you might be over feeding them based on your views of ‘bigger men automatically need more’?

As PP have said, it's not about how your portion size compares to your DH's; it's about eating the right amount for your particular body and activity levels. If you eat too much, you'll become fat. If you don't eat enough, you'll become skinny. If you're happy with the way you are, portion sizes are irrelevant. If you're not happy, cut down a bit.

I have smaller portions than my dp who is 5 inches taller than me. I'm a power lifter with a lot of muscle and still can't eat what my dp eats.

A bigger person needs more calories generally.