To eat the same portion size as him?

[AlexiaSox]

When I dish up for me and DP, I always give us the same amount of food. Same if we eat out, e.g we'll both order our own pizza and eat the whole thing (we both have pretty good appetites), and maybe share a salad.

The thing is, he is a tall guy, over 6ft, and I am much smaller...

Neither of us are overweight but I guess I am at the very top end of healthy weight.

So my question is, AIBU and should I generally eat a slightly smaller portion than him? I hate the idea of a 'dainty woman's portion' but is it just common sense?

What do you do?

@Mrgrinch

Your body needs less fuel than his to power itself. Personally I'd say you're overeating.

Doesn’t that depend on if the op is gaining weight? If her weight is stable, no problem.

This is one area that having a partner who eats small portions is really useful. My mother was the same. I’ve never particularly eaten large portions because I’ve never been around people who do. Actually I used to be really shocked the amount my sister chose to eat if we went out. She’s pack away a starter, main and pudding whereas my mother and I would order just a main or just a starter.

So I’m going to go against the grain and say you don’t need as large a portion of food as your DP unless of course you’ve eaten nothing else and have specifically fasted before hand.

I always give DP and DSS larger portions, because DP is much bigger than me and DSS is too, and still growing. There's nothing wrong with only eating what you need. When did eating the most become a competition?

@Bluntness100

Eat what you want, if you’re worried about your weight reduce your portions if you’re not don’t. You don’t need to eat based on what he eats that’s mad.

I’m five eight, my husband six eleven, sometimes I eat exactly what he does, but over the course of an average day he eats more.

Exactly.

At one point I used to eat more than my DH simply because I had considerably more active job.
I know some very active women who eat more than their male friends and partners.

It's very simple.
Are you putting on weight? No? You are eating right amount. Doesn't matter what someone else eats

Depends what it is, how much I want. You get the same portion size when you eat out though! Eat what you like, unless your weight starts bothering you.

It's true that women generally don't "need" as many calories as men. It's easy to get into a habit of eating more than you need, as I can tell you from experience. In your place, I would try to be more conscious of how much you put on your plate. Tell yourself you can always eat more, or something else, later, if you're still hungry. Don't compare your serving to his. Try to base it on how hungry you are, and eat slowly enough that you haven't eaten too much before you've had the chance to realise you're full. (Again, from experience.)

When you eat out do they have ‘women’s size’ and ‘man size’ meals? 🤔, no because generally we eat the same size meals

Perhaps they ought to. If I am on my own I ask for a child's portion or, if all they offer me is turkey dinosaurs, a doggy bag. If I am with my husband, we swap plates and he finishes off what I haven't eaten.

I give my husband a bigger portion than me, he is over a foot taller than me and has a physical job. If I are like him with my fairly sedate job I would be enormous!

It’s basic common sense to have a smaller portion when you have less body mass.

We have the same amount at dinner time, but I eat less at lunch and breakfast, so it balances out.

Eat what you need.

It seems odd to serve yourself a portion based on someone else's portion size, their needs and preferences, rather than what you want yourself.

Or do you both start with dainty portions and your DH go back for seconds?

@Fluffycloudland77

It’s basic common sense to have a smaller portion when you have less body mass.

Not really. That’s too simplistic. It depends on what else you’ve eaten that day, your own weight, what activity you’ve done etc.

Never go out to usual restaurants, used to be a carvery, because the "normal" sized portions are way too big for me, my DH and I used to have what was called the lighter bite or smaller plate, then they said some people complained so they now call it childrens plate, you can still stack it as high withfood as you want.strange question though, eat what you want if you don't feel uncomfortable and don't want/need to loose weight what's the problem.

Eating out is a red herring, because it's 'treat food' to be indulged in, not necessary, everyday food.

Eat as much as you need to be full

This - depends on how hungry you are, surely?!
I'd either pile my plate up or just have a bit depending how much I felt like!

This isn't about male or female, it's just a fact of life that a 6ff man metabolises more calories per day than a much shorter woman. If you want to maintain a healthy weight then the chances are you'll need to moderate your portions more than he will. If you're not bothered, ultimately just eat what you like. It wouldn't occur to me to eat the same portion as DH, but nor would I consider my own a 'dainty woman's portion' and find that quite insulting.

@Lovemusic33

When you eat out do they have ‘women’s size’ and ‘man size’ meals? 🤔, no because generally we eat the same size meals.

Eat what ever size meal you like. I’m sure there’s some men that eat less then their partner eats and vice versa.

I wish they did tbh. And a lot of places have started doing 'under 600 calorie' meals.

I am 5'2" and very slight. DH is 6'2" and does a lot of sport.

There is no way on earth we should be eating the same whether we are at home or eating out. I should really be eating about 1300 calories a day for my size. Thats below the 'recommended' 2000 for women by some margin. He on the other hand tends to need above the recommended 2500 for a man.

As it goes it works out for us because we order for 2 on the basis that he will eat a fair amount of mine too.

I also find prepackaged food really difficult and not really appropriately sized.

It would be nice to have more restuarants that do 1/2 or 2/3 portions both for me and DS who HATES the awfulness of children's menus which seem to think that if you are under the age of 12 chicken nuggets are something edible. I wouldn't eat the damn things. DS would much rather eat the same as us, just less of it.

FWIW I did eat more in my 20s and got away with it. In my 40s and there is no way I can even entertain the idea. It does catch up with you.

When I first moved in with DH I accidentally put on a good half stone to 10lb (I am small, so this is a significant amount of weight for me). He eats large portions and would just automatically serve me the same as he was having himself, and I also found myself drifting into having more helpings as a "sociable" thing because he was having them, so my weight gradually crept up. Then I woke up to was happening, lost the extra weight, and now routinely eat less than him and am much slimmer and happier.

Why would you want to deliberately eat the same as your DP "just because"? It's not a competition.

I dish up 4 equal dinner portions for Dh, Me, 2 x teenage ds's. Ds1 always eats the leftovers.

When we eat out, we're given the same sized portions as everyone else in the restaurant because we've paid the same price

One thing great about Japan is that they often did smaller ‘ladies sets’ but what I really liked about them was that they were also cheaper than the regular sets 😛 great for a broke student

@TheLightGetsIn

When I first moved in with DH I accidentally put on a good half stone to 10lb (I am small, so this is a significant amount of weight for me). He eats large portions and would just automatically serve me the same as he was having himself, and I also found myself drifting into having more helpings as a "sociable" thing because he was having them, so my weight gradually crept up. Then I woke up to was happening, lost the extra weight, and now routinely eat less than him and am much slimmer and happier.

Why would you want to deliberately eat the same as your DP "just because"? It's not a competition.

I think this is exactly what is happening to me! I will have to try and eat slower, because if I have a smaller amount I will finish it quicker and then have to watch him eat... And will probably be tempted for seconds

I eat the same portion as my 6'4 DH. I'm 5'2 and a size 10. I think he eats more than me throughout the day though, I just like a big dinner.

I think this is exactly what is happening to me! I will have to try and eat slower, because if I have a smaller amount I will finish it quicker and then have to watch him eat... And will probably be tempted for seconds

Try eating and cooking with a teenage boy = aka food hoovers.

I go easy on the pasta and have the same amount of sauce, and fill up on veg / salad. My plate looks full, but less pasta or rice makes a lot of difference.

My portions at our evening meal are much larger than dh's. That's because he has 2 or 3 breakfasts, a couple of lunches, snacks through the afternoon and early evening.

He grazes all day. I don't.

Eat what you need to eat. "Dainty women's portions" my foot; reject them utterly!