To eat the same portion size as him?

[AlexiaSox]

When I dish up for me and DP, I always give us the same amount of food. Same if we eat out, e.g we'll both order our own pizza and eat the whole thing (we both have pretty good appetites), and maybe share a salad.

The thing is, he is a tall guy, over 6ft, and I am much smaller...

Neither of us are overweight but I guess I am at the very top end of healthy weight.

So my question is, AIBU and should I generally eat a slightly smaller portion than him? I hate the idea of a 'dainty woman's portion' but is it just common sense?

What do you do?

I’m guessing you’re worried that your idea of portion size is out of whack? If you’re overweight with no obvious “I eat 20 doughnuts a day and my thyroid isn’t quite right” cause, then maybe that’s true.

I eat more than DH usually as I he has a more sedentary job. He’s only slightly taller than me.
I’ve always thought (though no idea where I got thi from!) that Average Man will be able to eat more than Average Woman based on body makeup, etc, but we’re not all average! I’ve always been able to eat a lot without gaining much weight, other people have the opposite situation; unfair but life is.

I think you’ve got to look at more than just portion size in isolation.

I eat what i want to eat, which is less than my DP so i dish him up a bigger portion.

Also OP, you say I guess I am at the very top end of healthy weight

Are you using 'I guess' as a phrase or are you literally guessing?

If it's the latter, finding out would be a good place to start before making your decision.

I give DH a larger portion but I do a largely desk job and his is more active - if I ate what he did I'd be hugely overweight

I eat smaller portions than my partner, he is 8 inches taller than me and does a physically more demanding job.
When we go out for dinner I generally get a doggy bag, and finish later that evening.
We both just eat until we are full.

I guess I just find it funny that I can always eat as much as him (including seconds) despite the height difference! But I am late 20s so hoping it doesn't catch up with me

Xiaoxiong 'penis portions' are about the man being given more food purely because he is male.

Men should have more food because they need more calories than women. On an average activity male and woman they need 500 cals more per day.

www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/food-and-diet/what-should-my-daily-intake-of-calories-be/

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Last time I worked out my BMI it was high range of healthy but that was a little while ago, I feel similar to then though. No immediate plan to diet... But yeah as someone mentioned, I am a bit worried that living with DP has started to skew my portion perception!

And let's not drag out "well I play professional level squash and work as a welder burning 5 times more calories than my layabout boyfriend that does not activity whatsoever" as those recommendations are based on an average weight and height male and woman with average activity levels. Ie comparing like with like

If you don't eat all your meals together then it will probably balance out differently throughout the day. My very active teenage son will eat about the same as or slightly more than us for dinner, but he also constantly refuels during the day and that makes for a big calorific difference.

If you're right at the top end of healthy weight, chances are that will creep up as you get older.

Eating more or less proportional to your actual calorie requirements - taking into account size, age, activity and sex - makes perfect sense. Women typically are both smaller and less muscular so on average do need less food. It's not sexism, it's simple biology/chemistry/physics...do the maths.

I'm about 3/4 of DHs body weight, same age, similar activity levels - of course I need smaller portions. We've both got Apple watches - on the same walk we'll get a similar percentage round our movement ring but his is set for a higher absolute number of calories.

I eat less than my teen ds’s (both about 5’8” to my 5’3”). Not necessarily smaller portions of dinner, but they’ll eat a bigger breakfast / lunch and likely snack more. I’m also less likely to finish a restaurant meal, or would order a less caloric option to begin with.

eating as much as possible or as much as a 6ft shouldn't be a goal frankly.

No need to go hungry, but if you are getting your body used to bigger portions, it's not healthy and will be a problem as you get older.

I would start reducing my portions slightly so it doesn't feel like a chore.
You need to teach yourself to stop when you are feeling full, not to keep going.

It's not just women whose metabolism slow down, if most men eat the same as they did when they were teenagers, they put on weight.

You have a much happier life if you eat what you want WITHIN REASONS than end up having to go on restrictive diets, it's much easier to maintain your weight than losing it.

I eat the same size portions as my DH but I am 3 inches taller than him!

My DM does penis portions. She will literally give me half the portion she gives him, it drives me bonkers!

This is exactly why most women put weight on when they move in with a man. I’ve had to tell OH numerous times to give me a smaller serving than him.

We are both very active but he’s taller than me, weighs more and therefore needs more calories to maintain a steady weight than I do.

I think you should have the right amount for you, irrespective of how much he has.

For me 'penis portions' means that men get more meat, the best cuts, the first choice etc, Not that they might eat more garlic bread on the side, plus chips, or eat more stuffing, or potatoes etc.

I am tall and have a large frame. I eat more than my petite female friend who is much shorter than me. It isn't just a male - female thing.

Keep an eye on your own health and act accordingly. No comparisons.

@AlexiaSox

Last time I worked out my BMI it was high range of healthy but that was a little while ago, I feel similar to then though. No immediate plan to diet... But yeah as someone mentioned, I am a bit worried that living with DP has started to skew my portion perception!

I have friends with a high BMI but look slim as anything but toned, it's just muscle.

BMI is not the full picture. But if you are not extremely active and doing intense very regular exercise, you probably should try to go for medium range of healthy whilst it's easy and you are young.

Going on a diet is not a solution, having a healthy one and lifestyle is so much easier.

@AlexiaSox

Last time I worked out my BMI it was high range of healthy but that was a little while ago, I feel similar to then though. No immediate plan to diet... But yeah as someone mentioned, I am a bit worried that living with DP has started to skew my portion perception!

If you're worried about your weight (or future weight) then you really need to start weighing yourself regularly - whether that's once a fortnight or once a month.

If you don't keep an eye on it, it's pretty easy to tip into the overweight category without realising it and then you'll have more work to do, if you choose to lose it.

@Xiaoxiong

I used to do 50/50 and hated "penis portions". After 10 years of marriage, 6'2" DH was still the same size round the waist as he was on our wedding day, and I, at 5'6" needed to lose about 2 stone. I did MFP and got a handle on my actual calorie needs and portion sizes, and now we do penis portions. It's just a function of our different caloric needs - it's not sexist to say that someone who is almost a foot taller and 3 stone heavier than me can eat more on a daily basis on about the same activity levels.

If your weight is stable, then eat what you like. If you're noticing your weight creeping up slowly, then you might decide that you want to have a smaller portion. Forget about how big or small that portion is relative to your DH - it's irrelevant.

Penis portions ...The thought reminds me of this ''delicacy''

I give DH more because a) he will eat more, I get fuller quicker b) he needs more calories than me, there's about 1500 calories difference between us in terms of what we should be having a day based on our stats and average activity (he's taller and in a much more active job, and he exercises which I'm not really doing much of atm)

When I am at the top end of my BMI (like I think I am now but avoiding the scales!) I'm not being healthy, eating badly and don't fit well into clothes so I know when I'm there I'm better off towards the middle of my healthy BMI for my stats at least. That's different for everyone of course, so if you want to lose weight (emphasis on if and want!) looking at your portion size is probably a very good start, I'm always surprised at what is actually a good portion for my daily allowance (as in much smaller than I'd expect!)

We eat the same portion at dinner - I prob have seconds more often as dinner is my fave meal - but he eats significantly more during the rest of the day.

I eat exactly the same as DP and we both have big appetites (much like you OP with each having a pizza etc). I'm in the centre of healthy for BMI. Actually some days I eat more than him...

I don’t dish up. Simples. No need to agonise over who gets a bigger plate. It is a few big sharing plates in the middle of the table. I don’t track who gets a bigger plate and no one needs to clear a plate.

OP I can eat more than my husband without adding weight - I wouldn’t overthink it - if you’re hungry eat it

In my work I have a male chef, late 50’s (ish) and he gives everyone the same size portions when plating up. We had a female, 40 (ish), for a week when the male was off, who gave a male member of staff, who granted is over 6ft, a bigger portion than the female staff who are heavier than him. I found this weird as it wasn’t an issue before but I suppose some people just think this way and some don’t