Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Doing this to a child is wrong

999 replies

fuckxmas · 27/11/2020 18:09

BBC report : His said his 14-year-old daughter had not left her bedroom for four days, with meals being left outside her door, until the family learned the result was void on Thursday

This is so wrong to do to a child

OP posts:
flaviaritt · 27/11/2020 20:58

No I don't suppose they would. But there is no indication that anyone has. That surely is the crux of the matter

The crux of the matter is that the OP implies they had to stay there. Comment on that?

flaviaritt · 27/11/2020 20:58

Have you ever heard of the internet?

Yes.

MillieVanilla · 27/11/2020 21:00

It is massively wrong, we have DD now isolating because an idiot didn't follow the very clear rules and frankly I will be deciding whether to demand they're sacked or police fine is given
It's about time these covidiots are named and shamed in the press, big list each week, see how quickly the public start taking note then.

IMNOTSHOUTING · 27/11/2020 21:01

The crux of the matter is that the OP implies they had to stay there. Comment on that?

That's what we are all commenting on. The teenager was probably asked to stay in their room, they probably happily agreed to do so. We're fine with that. Yes if it turns out the parents had first sold all the teenager's furniture and belongings and padlocked the door shut then we'd have a problem with it but there is no indication that happened.

NoPainNoTartine · 27/11/2020 21:02

No wonder some poor kids have mental health issues with hysterical parents making such a drama about nothing.

It's shocking. A 14 year old sticking to their bedroom is hardly on house arrest Hmm

BungleandGeorge · 27/11/2020 21:06

If they were really unwell Obviously giving actual care would take priority. However as this teen didn’t even have covid, they were healthy and quite able to isolate!

Mydogmylife · 27/11/2020 21:07

Op may have implied it - article did not .
I'm now going to take another posters advice and stop engaging with you, we are never going to agree on this and indeed based on previous threads I doubt we will agree on anything .

wellthatsunusual · 27/11/2020 21:11

About two hours ago I was arguing with my 14 year old that she had no need to self isolate (her entire year group at school had to be sent home because there were so many cases) because she wasn't in close contact with someone who has had a positive test. She was begging me to allow her to confine herself to her room for a fortnight. 'You'd have to let me stay in my room, you couldn't insist I come out. And you'd have to keep out. Go on, let me, you know it's the sensible thing to do'

ILoveYou3000 · 27/11/2020 21:14

I just asked my teenagers how they'd feel having to go into 'solitary confinement' for 4 days. My daughter told me as long as she has WiFi and no one (her siblings) is allowed to talk to her she'd be fine. My son offered to give it a try so I'd have an accurate account to offer the thread. His stipulations were his X-box and regular supplies of snacks, plus assurance he'll still get his roast on Sunday.

outofthemoon · 27/11/2020 21:27

Common sense. I know a lot of teens, they are 95% kind and practical and would chose to do this and willingly be so responsible. They want to talk it through, obviously. I don't know one who would need cuddles.

WeAllHaveWings · 27/11/2020 21:45

A teenager isolating in their bedroom for 4 days with WiFi etc is inconsequential compared to the tragedies some people have had to endure in this pandemic. Most 14 year olds would not have a significant problem with this.

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 27/11/2020 21:47

Like a few others i asked my 14 year old what he would think of having to isolate in his room. He said "it would be awesome. You'd have to bring my meals and couldn't nag me to do chores".
For the record, his bedroom is tiny. But he has a TV, WiFi, laptop and tons of lego. I could move one of the PlayStations in there for him. He'd be more than happy.

eaglejulesk · 27/11/2020 21:57

Well, I don’t agree.

Well, what a surprise! Let's be honest @flaviaritt - you seem to be the sort of person who refuses to see the other side of any argument. If everyone was marching down the street one way and you were going the other, you would be the one in the right.

CorianderQueen · 27/11/2020 22:02

Pretty sure this would have been heaven to 14yo Me. Barely left my room anyway

Scarby9 · 27/11/2020 22:16

A 22 year old I know had to isolate for 14 days. I sympathised but to be fair, when she said she was worried about what it would do to her mental health, I did reassure her that she had a flat mate who would bring her food and talk to her through her door in the mornings and evenings, and she would be spending all day on Zoom in classes, so she wasn't exactly cut off from the world.
She survived.
At ten, my mum had diphtheria and was sent to an isolation hospital for 5 months, which was like a series of Nissan huts outside of town. Her mum came to the window of her hut for an hour each week. She hated it, but again survived what was a much crueller separation.
Many 14 year olds I know are capable of understanding the reasons behind the need to isolate. It was 4 days, in a family home in her own room. This is sensible, not cruel.

TicTacTwo · 27/11/2020 22:29

There are some major drama queens on this thread.

If you or your child is self isolating it doesn't mean it's like solitary confinement and they don't talk to anyone. If my 14yo was self isolating I would stand in the doorway while they sat further away and have a chat. Or they could FaceTime me and ask me to fetch drinks or snacks.

Not all teens are going to need hugs and reassurance. If mine needed that then that's fine but many have been able to rationalize their personal risk of Covid and cope. In this case I'd imagine that this teen is very motivated to protect the vulnerable sibling.

My teen would be happy with a few days of room service and we already discussed as a family how we'd self isolate if needed. (My bedroom is the only me with an en-suite) It's not solitary confinement as he would be able to leave if he wanted and people would be talking to him - he's not in prison for fuck's sake.

I think it's wrong to assume that just because your teenager or you as a teenager wouldn't have wanted to self-isolate that it's wrong to do so. Our family is lucky not to have to worry about a vulnerable member but I imagine that when you live with one that you will probably want to do what you can because you want to protect them.

Cygne · 27/11/2020 22:43

@flaviaritt

It says the child didn't come out of her room, it doesn't say that the family ignored her.

They left meals outside her room for her to collect. Sounds very hands-off.

It's a single quote, not a blow by blow account of how she spends the four days. I suspect that if she'd been totally ignored with no-one talking to her or checking up on her, something would have been said about that.
peboh · 27/11/2020 22:48

The child is 14. A reasonable age to assume they perhaps made the choice themselves and asked the family to leave meals outside so they didn't risk infecting the rest of the family. My nephew who is 15 would love this everyday, so he'd definitely use covid as an excuse if he could.

Rachie1973 · 27/11/2020 22:50

I got a TShirt for a few.

Doing this to a child is wrong
HazeyJaneII · 27/11/2020 22:51

Our dds (14 and 13) have said they would want to keep to their rooms if they were positive or had symptoms, as their brother is cev. They have seen their brother being taken in an ambulance and struggling to breathe in A+E several times, and would like to avoid that if possible.

@flaviaritt I thought your dd was 3?

Cygne · 27/11/2020 22:52

@flaviaritt

The likely impact is nothing at all. Especially since this teenager wasn’t actually feeling ill.

I think that shows an alarming lack of empathy. For this whole year, young people (who might reasonably lack enough information to properly contextualise the threat to them, personally), have been told that this is an existential threat. To say a child doesn’t need their parents’ support or affection for four days, to me, is inconceivable.

Yet again, where does it say that this child didn't receive her parents' support or affection? You can give both whilst staying two metres away, FFS.
MiddleClassMother · 27/11/2020 22:52

Isn't that normal teen behaviour these days anyways? I'd feel bad about them being in there all day but then I'd feel worse if I was too unwell with COVID to look after them.

HikerBiker · 27/11/2020 23:14

Unless there’s a vulnerable person in the house I think it’s a bit overkill to ask the child to stay in their room.

Presumably she’d have been in there 10 days if the test result had not been reversed, that is a very long time!

timeforanewstart · 27/11/2020 23:25

My 15 year old does this most of time anyway , he would think it was great of I took his meals to him as well and didn't force him to eat downstairs
If one of mine has covid then yes i would take them meals up and encourage them to stay in there room if possible , if they needed me I would be there obviously but of they felt well they would happily stay in room with room service

corythatwas · 28/11/2020 01:06

To say a child doesn’t need their parents’ support or affection for four days, to me, is inconceivable

To most people, the need of a child for their parent's support might seem an excellent reason to try to keep the parent safe.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread