Doing this to a child is wrong

[fuckxmas]

BBC report : His said his 14-year-old daughter had not left her bedroom for four days, with meals being left outside her door, until the family learned the result was void on Thursday

This is so wrong to do to a child

*Solitary confinement means you are being confined on your own. Someone being on the phone doesn’t mean it’s not solitary. You may disagree with that but I don’t believe it’s okay to give a teenager a phone and say “There’s your human interaction. Now stay in there for X number of days.” And I think if you think that’s okay, you’re not someone whose opinion I need to take into account.

Why are you asking if I have teenagers?*

But where has anyone said they'd just give a teenager a phone and say "there you are you're on your own?"

Most people, who have teenagers and who have likely had this conversation with said teenagers, are saying their kids would be more than willing to do this for the sake of their family. I'm ECV and my own kids wouldn't hesitate for a second. It'd be like a holiday for them, food provided, no younger siblings annoying them, no chores.

I asked if you had teenagers because I'm nosy. And also because I was wondering if you'd heard any opinions on this from teenagers. Honestly, I can't think of one teen I know who wouldn't think this was great, but obviously I accept there are those who possibly wouldn't, for various reasons. I'd also think that those who would hate it, would not be forced into it by their parents.

But where has anyone said they'd just give a teenager a phone and say "there you are you're on your own?"

What I am saying (quite clearly, to me) is that a situation where the family puts food outside the door and gives the kid access to tech isn’t appropriate unless the teenager has volunteered to do it. We can argue about minutiae all day, but this is the basic point for me. No, I would never tell my child she had to stay in her room for up to ten days. Because I’m not a gaoler.

@flaviaritt

It's not really solitary confinement when they have a 101 ways to communicate with family and friends is it?

So that makes it fine to imprison people against their will? Better let Amnesty know: prisoners aren’t prisoners if they have an iPad. Right.

How many prisoners in actual solitary confinement do you think had access to ipad, WiFi. 24/7 Stop talking bollox, a child who are isolating away from family and having meals are not imprisoned. Whether parents have asked/ told them to isolate or not. Isn't it just like being grounded? Do you get so het up about children being sent to their room normally?

I don’t think you can make a 14 year old do much against their will

If you tell them they are not allowed to leave their room, that is what you are doing. You can tell yourself “but if they really wanted to, they’d just leave” if you like, but if you have issued that instruction, you’ve imprisoned them.

How many prisoners in actual solitary confinement do you think had access to ipad, WiFi. 24/7

I don’t know. What I do know is that giving them wi-fi doesn’t mean you haven’t imprisoned them.

@flaviaritt

I don’t think you can make a 14 year old do much against their will

If you tell them they are not allowed to leave their room, that is what you are doing. You can tell yourself “but if they really wanted to, they’d just leave” if you like, but if you have issued that instruction, you’ve imprisoned them.

Well that will be news to each and every parent of a teenager who has sneaked out when they're pretended to be in bed. Which is a story as old as time...

Well that will be news to each and every parent of a teenager who has sneaked out when they're pretended to be in bed. Which is a story as old as time..

This has been addressed above in the thread. Not allowing a child to leave the house when they might be at risk is a parent’s job. Locking them up in their room for days is an abuse of a parent’s authority. Again, only in my opinion and you don’t have to agree.

If you tell them they are not allowed to leave their room, that is what you are doing. You can tell yourself “but if they really wanted to, they’d just leave” if you like, but if you have issued that instruction, you’ve imprisoned them.

Does this apply when you send a child to their room as punishment (and in that instance probably remove tech), and tell them to stay there for the night or until they can apologise/moderate their behaviour? Is that also imprisonment, as an instruction has been issued?

@flaviaritt

How many prisoners in actual solitary confinement do you think had access to ipad, WiFi. 24/7

I don’t know. What I do know is that giving them wi-fi doesn’t mean you haven’t imprisoned them.

If you have a link to the outside world and can talk freely, are you imprisoned?

I really think you need to stop! Or shall we go down the route that the government is forcing us all to SELF isolate and so we are being imprisoned in our own homes, our freedom is being taken away.

Does this apply when you send a child to their room as punishment (and in that instance probably remove tech), and tell them to stay there for the night or until they can apologise/moderate their behaviour? Is that also imprisonment, as an instruction has been issued?

It’s a good question. Yes, I think sending a child to their room until they apologise counts as imprisonment. What if they never apologise?

Obviously there are degrees of things. I don’t think it would be abusive to ask a child to keep to an annexe or to avoid going into their siblings’ rooms etc. But putting them in one room for several days - to me - crosses the line between appropriate parenting and actually keeping them prisoner.

If you have a link to the outside world and can talk freely, are you imprisoned?

Is this a serious question? FFS.

many years ago I had to stay in my room for 2 weeks at 14 because I had chicken pox and my youngest brother was only a month old, my mum was very worried about him catching it and told me to stay in bed, I can honestly say that I didnt mind staying away from everyone, I knew it was for a good reason, it was so long ago that I had no phone/ipad/tv etc, I read, mum got me magazines and I had shouted conversations through the door - I honestly believe that the majority of 14 year olds are quite capable of understanding why they are being asked to stay seperate from the rest of the family, yeah, its boring and you get fed up of it but really, its not abusive!

many years ago I had to stay in my room for 2 weeks at 14 because I had chicken pox and my youngest brother was only a month old, my mum was very worried about him catching it and told me to stay in bed

That is absolutely disgusting. Why couldn’t the new baby (who had no needs beyond milk and sleep and clean nappies) stay in her room?

This has been addressed above in the thread. Not allowing a child to leave the house when they might be at risk is a parent’s job. Locking them up in their room for days is an abuse of a parent’s authority. Again, only in my opinion and you don’t have to agree.

But you're changing the goalposts now. First you said 'telling them not to leave' and now you're saying 'locking them in their room'.

I'd never even lock a toddler in their room never mind a teenager.

wellthatsunusual

I have made it very clear above that the presence of a physical lock isn’t the issue. Telling a teenager they are not allowed to leave their room - because you are the parent and you have that authority - is the same as locking them in.

I think treating your child like a leper in their own home is absolutely awful. Unless someone in the house is ECV, in which case the child might voluntarily want to isolate anyway. The whole household will be isolating from the outside world anyway if someone is waiting for a Covid test, so it's not like they are going to spread it around. And by the time they have developed symptoms the chances are they might have already given to you anyway!

We have had Covid as a family and it never even occurred to me to isolate anyone in their room!

I think treating your child like a leper in their own home is absolutely awful.

Of course it is.

That is absolutely disgusting. Why couldn’t the new baby (who had no needs beyond milk and sleep and clean nappies) stay in her room?

😂😂😂

Now you are taking the piss! Can't leave a 14 year old who has the ability to understand why they're being asked to stay in their room, and also able to occupy themselves and still continue communicating but can leave a 1 month old baby (whose needs extend beyond milk, sleep and clean nappies) who would have no comprehension.

@flaviaritt

many years ago I had to stay in my room for 2 weeks at 14 because I had chicken pox and my youngest brother was only a month old, my mum was very worried about him catching it and told me to stay in bed

That is absolutely disgusting. Why couldn’t the new baby (who had no needs beyond milk and sleep and clean nappies) stay in her room?

Now you are being just a troll.

Here have a 🍪 .

You are going to start arguing the sky is green soon, or the earth is imprisoned by the sky. So I think we are best to stop giving you anything to come back on.

We have had Covid as a family and it never even occurred to me to isolate anyone in their room!

Clearly you didn’t read the nhs official advice.

I know a lot of teenagers. Most of them are very polite, well behaved, work hard at school types. I don't know a single one whose parents have enough authority over them that they could force them to stay in their bedroom against their will. It's an alien concept to me.

Now you are taking the piss! Can't leave a 14 year old who has the ability to understand why they're being asked to stay in their room, and also able to occupy themselves and still continue communicating but can leave a 1 month old baby (whose needs extend beyond milk, sleep and clean nappies) who would have no comprehension.

I can’t even... No, I am not taking the piss. This thread is mad.

I don't know a single one whose parents have enough authority over them that they could force them to stay in their bedroom against their will. It's an alien concept to me.

Great. We are agreed that if the teenager doesn’t mind and can leave if they want to, it’s not imprisonment.

@flaviaritt

I don't know a single one whose parents have enough authority over them that they could force them to stay in their bedroom against their will. It's an alien concept to me.

Great. We are agreed that if the teenager doesn’t mind and can leave if they want to, it’s not imprisonment.

So why do you keep talking about teenagers being imprisoned if you agree that just telling a teenager not to leave their room is not enough to force them to stay in their room and is therefore not imprisonment?

So why do you keep talking about teenagers being imprisoned if you agree that just telling a teenager not to leave their room is not enough to force them to stay in their room and is therefore not imprisonment

Because I did not agree that. If you tell someone they are not allowed to do something and they do actually obey you, it is your responsibility. You disallowed it. So if what we are saying is “Well, they’d only leave the room anyway”, why would you bother telling them not to? This is clearly a discussion about a teen who is told not to leave and doesn’t leave. If you think that would be an unusual outcome, then good. Doesn’t change what it is: imprisonment.