To think that the government's idea will start family rows that will go on for years?

[bigbirdsmate]

Having to choose r families to spend these precious bloody days with. So people will have to hurt each other all over the place. Choosing between spending time with one partners parents or the other. Choosing which kids to spend it with. It's bollocks, I'd much rather carry on with lockdown. I don't want to call any of our families because I can't bare the hurt and the aftermath of saying maybe we can't choose them.
Fuck off virus

CovidClara, it sounds like you have a remarkable lack of empathy. Why would you be so cruel as to return your gifts when your parents are evidently concerned for their safety? Are you trying to manipulate them into spending Christmas with you after all?

I get that you may be frustrated because your perception of the risk is different from theirs. I understand that you are sad and angry that you may miss out on your last Christmas with your dad. However, punishing them for their decision is not the way to deal with this.

Please re-think your approach. I'm sure that your parents would love to spend Christmas with you and the rest of their family, but they clearly don't feel safe doing so. If you have a toddler tantrum about it, you will regret this later, I'm sure.

I won't be seeing my parents this Christmas either - first time in many years. My 15yo has only ever done Christmas with her beloved grandparents. My dad is in his eighties and has lots of health issues, so we have no idea if my dad will be around for the next one. My response is to make it as special for them as we can from a distance.

@Dragongirl10 - maybe you don't understand the fuss as you are still able to meet with your family?

@MarshaBradyo

I have returned all of their gifts.

Your poor parents. Why so vindictive?

I didn't explain that well

We have a massive family Santa sack- takes hours and hours
I have returned all of their gifts that would have been in that. They wouldn't do it with just 2 of them. Some of the items tend to be interrelated between generations and so alone would make no sense.

I have retained 1 gift for each of them (perfume and whisky).

They have actually said no gifts.

[quote MRex]**@CovidClara* - I have returned all of their gifts.*
What a nasty piece of work you are. Giving gifts can still be done from outside or by post. Your parents are just trying to keep themselves safe during a pandemic, how dare you be so damned selfish as to try to make them feel bad for it?[/quote]
See above

They have asked for no gifts at all.

I am not nasty or vindicative- I am giving them what they want.
They dont want anything to do with Christmas apparently-

They will get 3 bottles of whisky, perfume , Christmas cake and some chocolates.

Seems like the British public are simultaneously raging about the Christmas ease up and the continued tiers.

The government literally can't win this one. There is no solution til the vaccine kicks in.

@AlexaShutUp

CovidClara, it sounds like you have a remarkable lack of empathy. Why would you be so cruel as to return your gifts when your parents are evidently concerned for their safety? Are you trying to manipulate them into spending Christmas with you after all?

I get that you may be frustrated because your perception of the risk is different from theirs. I understand that you are sad and angry that you may miss out on your last Christmas with your dad. However, punishing them for their decision is not the way to deal with this.

Please re-think your approach. I'm sure that your parents would love to spend Christmas with you and the rest of their family, but they clearly don't feel safe doing so. If you have a toddler tantrum about it, you will regret this later, I'm sure.

I won't be seeing my parents this Christmas either - first time in many years. My 15yo has only ever done Christmas with her beloved grandparents. My dad is in his eighties and has lots of health issues, so we have no idea if my dad will be around for the next one. My response is to make it as special for them as we can from a distance.

I am certainly not manipulating them. I have made no attempt to sway them despite my sister begging me to.

They know that I have sent everything back and they agree with it. They dont want to wear Christmas pyjamas or jumpers or sleep in Christmas bedding and I am not going to force it on them

Different family save different dynamics- we are very open. I asked them if I should send everything back and they said yes that would be best.

Agree. It was meant to be my family, coming to us, but all I have heard is excuses. I just wish they would be honest.

Yes, we will still be talking about it in 2049 when we are huddled up against giant sea walls.

I should add that I go to their house very regularly.
I take all of their food. Cook meals and drop them off. Walk their dog. Drive them to appointments. We wash their windows each week. I see them almost daily and all of the people they would be with on Christmas Day see them at least weekly.

I have probably seen more of them since March than in the previous year.

On reflection if anyone is being manipulated it might well be me.
Maybe they want me to beg them to come.

When I ask them I always make it clear that it is an invitation and not a summons.

No one's making any decisions in my family. The only agreement we have had is to defer a decision! We may meet up or we may Zoom or FaceTime. Who knows? The herd of cats is even more unpredictable than usual.....

@Underthecedartree

My only brother, sil and nephew are in Australia, and cancelled a trip home.
My 91 yr old FIL will not be coming as he often does.

So no, l will not be seeing any member of my family that does not live with me. I miss my brother hugely and any trip home is long awaited.

However l think it immensely selfish to not be able to wait, less than 6 months until all vulnerable people are vaccinated to socialise.

My other SIL had retired as an A and E nurse after 30 years last January, she went back to help in March and is still working on the front line.
Her age puts her at higher risk, yet she willingly went back to help, and never complains.
She will be working all over Christmas and New Year, despite looking forward to having a normal Christmas with her Dh and DDs for the first time in many years.
I don't want to make things harder for her and those like her, into January and February.

Well we are obviously a miserable git family, because we decided years ago to stop the ridiculous charade of who's hosting xmas one year to the next, and all just spend xmas with our own close family ie: not brothers, sisters, grandparents etc. Just us. Lovely, stress free, no arguments, no having to fit in with other peoples view of what xmas should be like etc etc.

@Dragongirl10 - sorry, misunderstanding. You said 'much like us' to the poster that said they were meeting family outside which suggested you were doing the same. Sorry if that's not the case. Most of my family are abroad so I've not seen them for a long time. My DSIL is a nurse (as am I) so working over Christmas. We had arranged to meet for the afternoon on the bank holiday Monday (many hours drive away). I've seen them once since March. It may seem selfish to want to 'socialise' but actually they are my only support network, I have a serious mental health condition and only came out of hospital in July to no support from professionals due to Covid, I also have Long covid/post-Covid fatigue (I was hospitalised with Covid) so meeting up is more about support (for me and my DC) and respite for me than anything else. But obviously it won't happen now which puts me at real danger of a relapse.

@Underthecedartree,

My 'much like us' was in response to another pp who was staying home without visitors. An easy mistake.!

Truly so sorry to hear of your tough time, all nurses do an incredible job and we are all grateful particularly at times like this.

Just goes to show none of us know what it is like in anothers situation.
I wish you a calm and peaceful Christmas.

@Dragongirl10 - thank you - I really appreciate your kind words. I wish you a very Merry Christmas too and here's hoping we can be reunited with our families soon