To think that the government's idea will start family rows that will go on for years?

[bigbirdsmate]

Having to choose r families to spend these precious bloody days with. So people will have to hurt each other all over the place. Choosing between spending time with one partners parents or the other. Choosing which kids to spend it with. It's bollocks, I'd much rather carry on with lockdown. I don't want to call any of our families because I can't bare the hurt and the aftermath of saying maybe we can't choose them.
Fuck off virus

@haircutsRus - that's true! Although I feel half dead due to bloody Long covid!

Not seeing anyone.

Havent seen anyone since March
Why risk it!

No way

None of my family are seeing each other!
We are sensible

@FatGirlShrinking - that's good you can still meet up with your family and you are looking on the bright side. I am hoping I may be able to see my DB on 28th if both areas are in tier 1 (not sure how likely that is). We don't live close enough to meet for a walk but I'm sure we'll spend some of the afternoon outside. I've seen him once since March but not been able to see anyone else. Keeping my fingers crossed!

@ColdNovemberNights - I would really like to see my DB for one afternoon. I really need some support/respite due to mental health and Long covid. I'm not sure a mental breakdown would be the sensible option either.

I swear people are being so dramatic, it's one Christmas ffs. Just stick to the rules and we'll all appreciate the normal Christmas next year.

@I8toys - January might not be shit for you but it would be for me and my DC if I end up in the mental hospital due to no support.

I've been split between families for years over Christmas time. This year the decision has been made for us. It's a relief for it to be taken out of my hands.

Not seeing anyone

Havent seen anyone since March Why risk it! No way

Surely this isn't a healthy way to live either?

None of my family are seeing each other!
We are sensible

I'm being sensible too and sticking to all the guidelines.
Surely there's a balance between what you said (not seeing anyone since March, why risk it?!) and being sensible?!
People are perfectly capable of sticking to the rules and guidelines and being sensible and not hiding away inside, which isn't healthy either (conditions aside of course)

People in my opinion are going to see it as allowed to mix in 3, and stick to it, but how can you even keep on top of the logistics of who everyone else's three is

There is no logistics to keep on top of. Make a list of 3 households (number them 1/2/3 if that’s easier for your brain to cope with). That is exclusively the people who can meet within the specified period. There is no “everyone else’s three”.

And FGS will people stop whining! It’s embarrassing. Utterly sick this year of entitled families when many people have had to spend the majority of their time alone.

Not bothered about Christmas as there is only us and 2 adult children who live with us and one son who is already in our bubble. What I am bothered about is going to work in a supermarket afterwards with people who already won't wear masks or do social distancing because "nobody is telling me what to do". The virus is not going to take 5 days off and all the people happy to do their own thing what about all the NHS staff who most likely will be working even harder then than they are now. I know we need to get back to normal butvat what cost?

People are literally dramatic 🤣 can no one have adult conversations with their family that would concern me way more.

I have 2 siblings and parents, this will be our fathers last Xmas. It’s 4 households obviously.
My DP then has his parents and we have spoke it out this evening as adults and worked it all out !

@Awwlookatmybabyspider

"It's literally one Christmas. Its one freaking Christmas."

Yes, but for a lot of people. This will be their last Christmas.

It’s going to be the last Christmas for a lot more people if everyone goes bonkers mixing and spreading contagion!

We were planning to host four households. Us, plus...

1. BIL and nephew (4), as my sister is working (NHS). They can't go to his parents as he has 3 siblings and his dad is EV.

1. my mum and dad. Dad is a recovering alcoholic and emotionally unstable this time of year due to a horrible upbringing, it's a bit of a trigger/flash point.

1. My Grandad (85) who lives alone and is v independent, he will otherwise be alone for xmas.

Fuck knows which one I'll disinvite 😔

@Meatshake

We were planning to host four households. Us, plus...

1. BIL and nephew (4), as my sister is working (NHS). They can't go to his parents as he has 3 siblings and his dad is EV.

1. my mum and dad. Dad is a recovering alcoholic and emotionally unstable this time of year due to a horrible upbringing, it's a bit of a trigger/flash point.

1. My Grandad (85) who lives alone and is v independent, he will otherwise be alone for xmas.

Fuck knows which one I'll disinvite 😔

Hard one! Grandad most at risk but you’d not want him left alone. Ditto others for other reasons. Toughie

The governments' (deliberately plural) could not come up with a formula that was going to please everyone in terms of timings (those with Christmas shifts lose out) as do those who are struggling to restrict their wishes with the three household stipulation.

It's not what fits my family set up either. But I'm going no to find a way to make the best of it

You’re all adults. Have a sensible adult conversation to make sure everybody sees somebody. Or tell them you won’t decide so aren’t going to see anyone. It’s only a drama if you make it one.

If the majority of the adults on here could actually have an adult conversation and not make everything into a drama by being silent, mumsnet wouldn't exist.

Meatshake

Disinvite? If you had invited them before you knew what the rules were going to be then that probably wasn’t the best idea. Your grandad and parents sound most in need of company. Surely your BIL will be fine with his son. They can a nice day playing with your nephews Xmas presents.

MIL already announced on the family WhatsApp that she’s planning on flexing the rules so we can all be together (would mean 6 households as DH has 4 siblings) as it’s her turn to host. Not only do we break the rules I don’t get to see my parents or DH’s dad and step mum? Ok then
Think we will be staying at home this year, as visiting anyone else will cause WW3!

@Meatshake if grandad is living alone he can be in a support bubble with you anyway so you'd only have 3 households

The conflict won't just be about who chooses who, but who within families wants to ignore the rule and who obeys them. I think lots of people will ignore it and see as unenforceable and discreetly do what they want. Most people on MN seem to follow the rules but I doubt this is representative. I'm very torn about elderly mother alone at a distance and the impact of this winter alone for her.

Already a feckin' nightmare in my family. No idea what to do for the best. Either we upset my sister, who is already upset by all this, or upset DH's sister and leave her on her own at Christmas. Just wish the govt. had said lockdown had to carry on with no relaxation over Christmas.

Yes, but for a lot of people. This will be their last Christmas. This phrase is being far too overused. Yes, for some it will be their last Christmas, for others it will be their last Christmas they just don’t know it yet. Tomorrow might be anyone’s (and it will be some people’s) last day on earth,

Or should we just make the world a free for all because every day could be our last?

No. If your family is going to be all dramatic and have rows and harp on for years, that's your family. You can't blame that on the government.

Other people just accept it, get on with it, nobody fights with each other.

@AlternativePerspective

Yes, but for a lot of people. This will be their last Christmas. This phrase is being far too overused. Yes, for some it will be their last Christmas, for others it will be their last Christmas they just don’t know it yet. Tomorrow might be anyone’s (and it will be some people’s) last day on earth,

Or should we just make the world a free for all because every day could be our last?

Unfortunately for some it will be last Christmas due to Christmas.

There’s a risk, very small individually but overall the last few scientists talking about it are saying rise in numbers due to it.

Yes, I'm not even affected. It's only my parents and my sister and I'll leave it to my sister with no pressure here to decide what she does about her in laws, but this was the scenario I was dreading.

My parents will make it easy for my sister but it's still a horrible situation to be in. If we hadn't gone NC with my in laws years ago it would have been a disaster with untold trauma!

For me personally I know it's going to create rumblings of discontent (which I will get over) as I see friends meeting up and ignoring the rules, that feeling of being excluded from the fun because we will do as we're told. Also the far more painful knowledge that DC are missing out when their friends are carrying on.