To think that the government's idea will start family rows that will go on for years?

[bigbirdsmate]

Having to choose r families to spend these precious bloody days with. So people will have to hurt each other all over the place. Choosing between spending time with one partners parents or the other. Choosing which kids to spend it with. It's bollocks, I'd much rather carry on with lockdown. I don't want to call any of our families because I can't bare the hurt and the aftermath of saying maybe we can't choose them.
Fuck off virus

@pontypridd of course no research, this government doesn't do detail either. It is about offering something. As the hope of families meeting at Christmas has been a carrot to try to get compliance all along.

It won’t be causing problems with me and my family. I won’t be seeing both sets of my grandparents only though their window which we’ve been doing for ages anyway. They’re vulnerable and understand fully why we won’t go inside to see them. It’s just not worth the risk. But I will be seeing my parents dh will be seeing his and I’ll be seeing my sister and her two daughters. Technically breaking rules as that’s 4 families but I’ll be seeing my parents sister and nieces together and my dh’s parents don’t go out or see anyone (dh an only child) so there is no way we are going to exclude them. We will see them separately to my side of the family and we are all happy we have weighed up the risks.

@Titsywoo

This is where I'm glad I'm not close to my siblings and neither is DH. We'll have MIL and her partner here on xmas day then see my parents another day - same as every year.

But if you're bothering to follow the rules, that means your parents & your inlaws can't see anyone else, as that's already the 3 household Christmas bubble.

I can well imagine the arguments / discontent / AIBU posts already

So no change from any other Christmas then, from reading last year's posts Christmas seems to create a family nightmare irrespective of Covid, there's just another excuse to argue!

I don't think it should be that complicated. I would go with older people/those who are alone get guest priority and then everyone else can work something out so no one is left out.

@keeprocking

I can well imagine the arguments / discontent / AIBU posts already

So no change from any other Christmas then, from reading last year's posts Christmas seems to create a family nightmare irrespective of Covid, there's just another excuse to argue!

Exactly @keeprocking. People are looking for reasons to be upset and dramatic at this point. How hard is it for people to stay the hell home for just one of their adult lives? Everyone's looking for ways they can be an exception to the rule.

Just choose to mix with no one ??

I told my family months ago I won’t be home for Xmas nor will my husband - we decided to just stay home the 2 of us - told our parents we feel too risky to travel to them and to mix with them - don’t want to make them sick !

its hard when some people are going to be left on their own though due to the 3 family thing. you can see up to 6 as per your tier during those 5 days though, I just read the guidance. christmas can be an emotive time.

"We will still laugh and smile, talk to each other, tell them how much we love them, enjoy spending time together. We just won't do it in a way that puts them at risk."

You won't be laughing and smiling if you're standing in the rain and snow. Also, this is only possible for people who live close to each other. You can't visit someone who lives further away and stay outside the whole time.

It makes me really sad and disappointed as opposed to angry...we have been in higher restrictions since August and have only seen friends outside 3 times since March. Our families live hours away however due to the fact that we are the childless ones we will end up alone at Christmas as grandparents jostle to see grandchildren and so we don’t make the cut. We have a nephew born in lockdown we have never met. Our families live in rural areas and low risk so apart from actual lockdown have seen each other very frequently throughout due to various bubbles and lesser restrictions. We hoped someone would give us a spot to actually have some human company in 8 months but no chance...now we face Tier 3 and won’t even be able to go out and do anything like a nice meal together which although doesn’t make up for not seeing anyone would have been a nice treat outside of the house. My mental resolve is quite frankly gone...made to feel unimportant because we haven’t gifted a grandchild into the family is a real kick to the gut after the year we’ve had

If you'd rather carry on with lockdown, then do that. As Arlene Foster was keen to point out, you don't have to mix with two other households, that's just the maximum allowed if you really want to. If you'd prefer not to, then don't. And people who do want to can calculate the risks for themselves and choose whether to meet or not, and which people to meet when. Three households is a limit, not an obligation.

Not here, we had a sensible adult discussion with our family, who like us agree that forgetting the months of restrictions we have had and will have after Xmas, in order to make believe that the virus will go to sleep for a magical 5 day period is stupid.
So we will be meeting people outside for a socially distanced walk and present exchange.
We will still laugh and smile, talk to each other, tell them how much we love them, enjoy spending time together. We just won't do it in a way that puts them at risk

Sounds like an easy decision to make if you all live close enough to go for a socially distanced walk together.

I’d get everyone in on a Zoom family meeting, honestly. Just to check in with everyone and see if everyone has heard the latest re Christmas and Covid, and how crap it is you won’t be able to see everyone at the same time like usual. Without stating who you plan to see and not, perhaps the conversation will naturally gravitate towards that anyway. If you can make sure everyone is seeing someone on the vital days, everyone should be happy.

I'm spending Christmas with a few people who I class as my very necessary support bubble (two households) after losing the love of my life to cancer 4 months ago.

We won’t be seeing anyone sadly.
Our family is spread far and wide and it just isn’t possible logistically.
We’ll get together when we can when things ease off.

I think you have to be sensible and sensitive about these things. We have decided not to see anyone in any case as we don’t want to put them at risk but even if we hadn’t, we would have stepped back to allow dm, dsis household and daunt to spend time together. We have each other and I would hate to think of daunt being alone.

Hurt feelings? 😬 Really? Surely they’re mature enough to realise it’s not a competition and that you can’t see everyone this year. Prioritise those in difficult circumstances or most needing company and the rest will just have to be understanding. If I had family that held it against me, I wouldn’t want to see them anyway. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s a shit situation but hopefully by next Christmas things will be very different.
But if you really don’t want to see anyone then just say you don’t want to take any risks. Letting people mix over Xmas is a recipe for disaster.

@Wickerbaskets

It’s literally one Christmas. Don’t you normally have to choose between families anyway? It’s not like you’re making a decision that will stand for the rest of your lives, there’s just no need for the dramatics!

Not necessarily. We can normally go to his parents in the morning and mine in the afternoon, whereas if we're in a 3-household bubble we have to choose either to bubble with his side or my side. Not both. For the entire Christmas period. So yeah, this is very different, and will cause tension in many cases I'd imagine.

Not in ours though, as we've already decided to spend this Christmas on our own.

Not necessarily. We can normally go to his parents in the morning and mine in the afternoon, whereas if we're in a 3-household bubble we have to choose either to bubble with his side or my side. Not both. For the entire Christmas period. So yeah, this is very different, and will cause tension in many cases I'd imagine.

We normally spend the morning with one set and the afternoon with the other as well, and I am about to have a baby so as you can imagine people are more keen than ever to get together over Christmas. But because the adults in my family are capable of not behaving like petulant children, nobody has kicked up a massive fuss about the fact that it’s not possible to have a completely normal Christmas in the middle of a pandemic.

There will be other christmasses. Anyone who loses sight of that needs to remember what’s actually at stake here.

Just say to all extended family, we are staying home, just us at home this year. Same policy for all so no side feels favoured or rejected.

Already had row number one about it in our house. FFS.

We couldn’t give a stuff about Xmas...for us it’s our chance to have human contact which we haven’t had in the last 8 months...

@Legoandloldolls

I feel for you OP. Lucky for me I only have my oldest mate, mum and sister to worry about. In laws are too far away and for various reasons wouldnt see them Christmas in normal times.

My other friend I normally see weekly outside of covid times so we will catch up eventually one day.

But elderly parents? Not so easy is it? Not sure my mum will want to risk my kids 😭

But that would make four, including you?

Why would this cause rows? Surely people will realise we are living in unprecedented times. Sounds very dysfunctional and dramatic assuming family rows about this will go on for years!