To complain to the class teacher?

[Whatisthisfuckery]

For the last few weeks DS has been complaining that in a certain lesson he has been seated next to a student who, quite frankly, is a pain in the arse. According to DS he’s always talking, messing around and drawing attention to himself, and the poor behaviour is preventing DS from concentrating on his own work. DS is a good student, he gets good marks, always does his work and I’ve never had a bad word from school about his conduct.

I’ve been telling DS that if he wants to be moved then he needs to tell the teacher. DS is a bit short on confidence so needs a lot of encouragement and reassurance in order to speak up for himself. Today he’s come home and told me he told the teacher that this kid was preventing him from being able to concentrate and he’d asked her if he could be moved. The teacher refused, her response was, ‘I’ve sat x there because I know you two (DS and another female student) are sensible.’

I am bloody annoyed about this. Well behaved students aren’t there to help teachers manage the behaviour of more challenging students, and why should my DS suffer because the teacher wants him to act as a buffer for someone elses disruptive behaviour? Should DS start playing up in lessons so he can get moved next to some less disruptive kids? Not only that, the teacher has refused to listen to DS’s POV and refused his request because it’s inconvenient for her to do so.

AIBU to complain to the teacher about this?

@Feministicon

Why isn’t the disruptive boy being sent out?

Potentially because be isn't actually all that disruptive.

it's a really hard subject - I think people are being unfair to OP. What adult would agree go to work to be sat next to someone who shouted in their ear, who shoved or pinched them, who whispered obscenities and threats etc etc? An adult would march straight down to HR and say 'you're providing an environment in which it's currently impossible to do my job'. The employer could potentially get into a lot of trouble for not providing a safe workplace, it would be considered severe workplace harassment. But when it comes to children we're essentially saying that it's acceptable that a huge number of children are made to work in an environment no adult would tolerate. . . . . and a huge number of children don't get the exam results and therefore the futures they could have got if they hadn't been harassed every day.

If they are constantly disrupting a class @HollyGoLoudly1 how are they accessing the education you quite rightly point out they are entitled to? What is the teacher supposed to do?

Often the smartest kid in the school is one of the most disruptive and the amount of people here suggesting Sen kids don't deserve an education is abhorrent

Over large class sizes, directives to minimise permanent exclusions, lack of funding for behaviour support (2 in a school with almost 1000 students, my previous UK school). Add to that growing issues with behaviour. Most classes of 34/5 students will have a minimum of 7 or 8 challenging students. My classroom had 7 groups of tables (grouped due to lack of space) so even with the best seating plan in the world, that is one disruptive student per table, minimum.

Very frustrating for studious pupils but nothing to do really, other than getting on with it.

I'm going to put my head above the parapet and say, it isn't teachers/schools fault that hallenging students are that way, it's down to families/parents.

Thinking there will be an empty table in a smallish,, overfilled room is pie in the sky, as is assuming there will only be 1 difficult student. If a class only has one 'gob on a stick', that is a GREAT class!

As a parent of a "disruptive" child this thread makes me despair. I can almost guarantee my disruptive child faces more barriers and challenges to her education than some relatively low level disruption. Inclusion is classic NIMBY.

@LD22020

As a parent of a "disruptive" child this thread makes me despair. I can almost guarantee my disruptive child faces more barriers and challenges to her education than some relatively low level disruption. Inclusion is classic NIMBY.

I agree inclusion isn’t for low level disruption, that needs to be managed in class.

@Feministicon

If they are constantly disrupting a class *@HollyGoLoudly1* how are they accessing the education you quite rightly point out they are entitled to? What is the teacher supposed to do?

I'd argue that they will still access more of the curriculum in my class than they would being sent to the metaphorical naughty step with a textbook/worksheet/nothing with a non-specialist teacher or cover supervisor in charge of them, in a room full of other disruptive pupils.

Perhaps your unit runs differently, I've never experienced anything other than a spare, disused classroom being used as the 'on call' removal room. My current school has nothing at all, there's nowhere to send them even if I wanted to.

I doubt your son is assisting this other child. The teacher

@ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble you are 100 percent on the money.

Definitely speak to the teacher. If your son is being disrupted and it is affecting him then she should do something about it. If there is a disruptive child it is up to the teacher to sort it not the well behaved children in the class, why can she not just sit the boy next to her or at a desk on his own. Her theory that he might behave sat next to the good kids is shot as he is still not behaving! This used to happen to my DD and it drove her crazy as she was interrupted and pestered non stop, luckily they moved the boy after I spoke to them. Good Luck

If a student is trying to walk in and out, refusing to work and shouting out abuse they really aren’t accessing anything, in an ideal world there would be no need for inclusion and I do agree that some teachers may be too trigger happy (proviso I can’t judge because I’m not in the same position) but a lot of people are on edge at the moment.

Agreed @ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble

My youngest is in a “challenging” class at primary. There is one particularly awkward child, along with a few mid level performers, in year 3 DD spent 6 months sat next to the worst behaved child. She continuously kicked DD, poked her, told her she was fat, ugly, stupid, had ruler fights across her, rubbed her work off her whiteboard.

DD went from being a happy child, to unhappy, crying about hating school, but never told me what was going on.

Another child broke down in tears about how the difficult child was treating DD. I secured a telephone call with the class teacher and described what was happening. I suspect she knew, but as DD didn’t complain, she thought she was ok with it.

I actually asked her if she would accept that behaviour from a colleague? And if not, why should DD accept it. The child sitting next to her after DD lasted 2 weeks, the next child 1 week, then a 3 week.

I promised DD she won’t have to put up with that child again, she gave 6 months.

Yesterday that child was continuously niggling another child in the class, yet when the other child told her to stop, she was told off for being disruptive,

I don’t envy their teacher, they have to swap the seating plan regularly, often due to this child, or some. Of the other lower level disrupters.

I find it quite sad that OP didn't mention anything about SEN, but posters keep making that assumption and reacting accordingly.

Not all disruptive children have SEN, not all children with SEN are disruptive.

@AuditAngel

My youngest is in a “challenging” class at primary. There is one particularly awkward child, along with a few mid level performers, in year 3 DD spent 6 months sat next to the worst behaved child. She continuously kicked DD, poked her, told her she was fat, ugly, stupid, had ruler fights across her, rubbed her work off her whiteboard.

DD went from being a happy child, to unhappy, crying about hating school, but never told me what was going on.

Another child broke down in tears about how the difficult child was treating DD. I secured a telephone call with the class teacher and described what was happening. I suspect she knew, but as DD didn’t complain, she thought she was ok with it.

I actually asked her if she would accept that behaviour from a colleague? And if not, why should DD accept it. The child sitting next to her after DD lasted 2 weeks, the next child 1 week, then a 3 week.

I promised DD she won’t have to put up with that child again, she gave 6 months.

Yesterday that child was continuously niggling another child in the class, yet when the other child told her to stop, she was told off for being disruptive,

I don’t envy their teacher, they have to swap the seating plan regularly, often due to this child, or some. Of the other lower level disrupters.

Your poor DD 😨 I hope she’s started to get back to her old self now.

@flaviaritt

Who'd want to work in them?

Everyone should have to work in them. There should be a rota.

Now I really have heard it all!

@Whatisthisfuckery

For the last few weeks DS has been complaining that in a certain lesson he has been seated next to a student who, quite frankly, is a pain in the arse. According to DS he’s always talking, messing around and drawing attention to himself, and the poor behaviour is preventing DS from concentrating on his own work. DS is a good student, he gets good marks, always does his work and I’ve never had a bad word from school about his conduct.

I’ve been telling DS that if he wants to be moved then he needs to tell the teacher. DS is a bit short on confidence so needs a lot of encouragement and reassurance in order to speak up for himself. Today he’s come home and told me he told the teacher that this kid was preventing him from being able to concentrate and he’d asked her if he could be moved. The teacher refused, her response was, ‘I’ve sat x there because I know you two (DS and another female student) are sensible.’

I am bloody annoyed about this. Well behaved students aren’t there to help teachers manage the behaviour of more challenging students, and why should my DS suffer because the teacher wants him to act as a buffer for someone elses disruptive behaviour? Should DS start playing up in lessons so he can get moved next to some less disruptive kids? Not only that, the teacher has refused to listen to DS’s POV and refused his request because it’s inconvenient for her to do so.

AIBU to complain to the teacher about this?

Just a wee reminder of what OP actually said since many of you are making up this child's behaviour.

@HallieKnight

Often the smartest kid in the school is one of the most disruptive and the amount of people here suggesting Sen kids don't deserve an education is abhorrent

I've had exactly this experience many times. The quiet well behaved students are frequently mid range.

@AuditAngel

My youngest is in a “challenging” class at primary. There is one particularly awkward child, along with a few mid level performers, in year 3 DD spent 6 months sat next to the worst behaved child. She continuously kicked DD, poked her, told her she was fat, ugly, stupid, had ruler fights across her, rubbed her work off her whiteboard.

DD went from being a happy child, to unhappy, crying about hating school, but never told me what was going on.

Another child broke down in tears about how the difficult child was treating DD. I secured a telephone call with the class teacher and described what was happening. I suspect she knew, but as DD didn’t complain, she thought she was ok with it.

I actually asked her if she would accept that behaviour from a colleague? And if not, why should DD accept it. The child sitting next to her after DD lasted 2 weeks, the next child 1 week, then a 3 week.

I promised DD she won’t have to put up with that child again, she gave 6 months.

Yesterday that child was continuously niggling another child in the class, yet when the other child told her to stop, she was told off for being disruptive,

I don’t envy their teacher, they have to swap the seating plan regularly, often due to this child, or some. Of the other lower level disrupters.

Bless you. This is awful. You would have every right to get DD moved and more.

But , in the nicest way possible , completely different behaviour to that outlines here.

@HollyGoLoudly1, it is so good to see posts from people who know the system. And you are right. They will access more with you.

@lazylinguist

Disruptive children should be removed from the classroom.

And put where?

I there home with their parents who seem to not be able to instill discipline. Or does every other child have to suffer because the overflow of empathy only seems to extend to those who cannot behave themselves.

[quote Wheresmykimchi]@HollyGoLoudly1, it is so good to see posts from people who know the system. And you are right. They will access more with you.[/quote]
Of course if they can they will access more with a teacher if they are able to get them to actually do anything, or are they simply learning via osmosis?