To think it’s really hard for autistic children at the moment

[Scottishmum1984]

This really struck a chord with me as my friend’s son is struggling at the moment. www.edinburghlive.co.uk/news/edinburgh-news/edinburgh-mum-shares-heartbreaking-reality-19325731?utm_source=linkCopy&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=sharebar

@heydoggee

Autistic people prefer not to described as 'having autism' or 'with autism' btw

Do you speak for all of them then? Every single one?

[quote minniemooblue]@heydoggee I have to disagree. It's not up to us to say how people with Autism/Autistic people would like to be addressed.
It's an individual preference and should be up to the person to decide. [/quote]
If you asked autistic people you would find an overwhelming majority describe themselves as autistic. Me included.

@HmmSureJan

I'm a teacher and the autistic children in my class are finding school far less stressful than usual.

Sitting at a desk with just one other person, being confined to class bubbles at playtime and clear enforced rules are all helping.

Parents tell me that, at home, they are enjoying the fact that social interaction is at a minimum, events such as school discos and Xmas parties are cancelled, and parents are at home more.

I know it's just anecdotal, but more than one parent has said they're dreading normal life resuming.

My dd who has ASD was much happier in lockdown. Learned well, had video calls with friends etc. We had a nice routine going. She likes a mask too.

Autistic people prefer not to described as 'having autism' or 'with autism' btw
@heydoggee lol really, I have autism / I’m autistic and couldn’t care in the slightest either way I barely notice the difference tbh

I think it’s slightly unreasonable to expect people to change their language to accommodate for what some deem more appropriate. As long as the person isn’t being rude I don’t think it’s something to worry about

@pistolknight its the same for ds and I. He can't stand crowds so couldn't use the lunch hall etc but now it's closed, lunch is in there class. There's no sharing of any equipment or desks and he said that he hopes social dissenting continues as everyone is like him now

DS1 has ASD, he loved lockdown and now the schools are back, he is finding it a lot easier that he stays in his classroom rather than moving around between classes. Autistic people, like NT people will have different views of Covid life.

The linked article has nothing to do with CV19 though.

[quote heydoggee]@HmmSureJan [/quote]
I suppose it depends on the people asked, if someone asks a population of people who belong to or subscribe to social media groups related to autism it would imply that for those people autism is an important part of their identity, so likely that they would prefer identity first language. Those who don't consider autism to be a strong part of their identity might prefer person first language.

It's very interesting and in the past these things have tended to change over time.

My 14 year old doesn't care how we describe his autism. He thinks we should all spend less time talking about whether we should describe people as having autism or being autistic and more time actually supporting the people who need it. My 6 year-old doesn't understand what autism is or that he has it.

My 14 year-old has struggled with the rules of lockdown changing and the way everyone seems to interpret the rules differently. He struggles with not being allowed to see his 12 year old brother at school as he feels it's his job to check ds2 is ok when I'm not there. He gets scared he and people he loves will die of covid.

My 6 year-old is a sensory seeker and I'm scared to take him anywhere because he licks everything, puts things in his mouth and wants to hug everyone. He makes his teacher nervous at school. If it was an option to do learning at home and then go back to school when he has been vaccinated then I would do that. He doesn't sleep unless he's had loads of exercise and taking him out is a nightmare. He loves having his hair cut though. I do it at home with the hair clippers and he purrs like a cat while I'm doing it.

Lol that made me smile ,purring like a cat @elliejjtiny I wish my son did he screams like he's being tortured .

[quote LegoPandemic]@heydoggee
That’s really interesting. I always thought it was the other way around- so saying someone “is Down’s” was rude but saying they are “a person with Down’s” was ok. That is they are a person who happens to have that particular condition rather than they are that condition.
Am I wrong as I wouldn’t want to be rude and sometimes have to use descriptors like that in a professional capacity.[/quote]
I'm not sure why it is different, but ds has a genetic condition (similar to Downs) and it would seem strange and wrong to say, 'Hazeyboy is Whatever Syndrome', in the same way as I'd never describe my friends child as a Downs Child or ds as a Whatever Syndrome Child.

And wrt the op - my ds (with many autistic traits as part of his syndrome) has found the lockdown and being at home part ok (he is shielded) - he has a lot if school anxiety, so the bits where he has neen in school have been harder....although the fact he can stay in the same classroom, doesn't have to go to the lunch hall, doesn't go swimming...all things he really struggled with, mean that some bits are better for him.

I have friends whose children have different needs and they have found It very hard, and have so little support it is heart breaking.

I also think the lack of news about how Covid has hit people with Learning Disabilities, especially those in care, is an absolute scandal.

We gave up on haircuts until d's was around 5 and decided he wanted short hair. He's not a fan of the clippers still but tolerates them.

Being off school was an absolute nightmare, going back to school was the same as it had been so long. Some days we have constant screaming . It's been very difficult

I prefer has/with autism rather than "autistic" purely because I've been on the receiving end of "autistic" used as an insult/slur.
As to whether the situation is difficult for children with autism...well you know what they say- when you know a person with autism, you know one person with autism.
I have two children with autism, that are diametrically opposite of one another. One is struggling, she needs her routine, and missed school and friends hugely during march-september. She was extremely anxious about breaking any rules, to the extent that towards the end of 1st lockdown, when I suggested she went for two walks a day (because she was going stir crazy) she was wailing and panicking about the police stopping her in the street. She hates masks with a passion, but wears them in school because they're supposed to.
The other one was happy to not go back to school ever and finished off Y6 at home online. He likes his new school, but when he had to SI this term would have been more than happy to just do home learning forever. He definitely found social interaction difficult when he went back after SI and half term, so nearly 3 weeks off. He likes his mask- they've become a safety blanket for him- he wears one even for a walk in the park.

Me... I'm happy WFH, but equally happy in work (purely because I have my own office that no-one else is now allowed to enter - perfect!). I'm most productive when alone and undistracted, but I'm finding video conferencing a nightmare, just very distracting and so hard to know when to speak, so I just don't say anything. (I have a hearing impairment too, and my speakers are not the best!)

To give the flip side.
My friend's autistic child had his happiest year. He hates school and loved April to June at home.
Now his class size is a little smaller and he doesn't have the pressure of joining in with social activities, sports, birthday parties etc. He is a self-learner - always reading and absorbing information. I'd say that he has positively flourished this year and it's the only good thing in my circle to come out of Covid.
He enjoyed having his parents at home more too, due to WFH and furlough. They didn't have money worries due to their sectors being required after Covid, so the family was lucky in that respect.

@heydoggee

Autistic people prefer not to described as 'having autism' or 'with autism' btw

We were told that during the introduction of a staff Diversity training day.

The first speaker got up and describe do himself as “having autism” and went on to talk about how he “lives with autism”.

If autistic people/people with autism can’t be consistently about it, I don’t understand how the rest of us are supposed to be!

My ASD is living his best life. Hates school, loves being on his own building and creating. He refuses school work at home but his anxiety has come right down and he is genuinely happy boy again. Not all ASD kids are struggling. Although I hear from his school he's one of the few that aren't.

If autistic people/people with autism can’t be consistently about it, I don’t understand how the rest of us are supposed to be!

Well, it’s not like we have a bloody yearly meeting where we decide what terms to use 😂

Well, we should @Mylittlephonyy!
Of course it would have to be on zoom this year...which mean I wouldn't be able to contribute my opinions

Well two with autism in this family and we prefer "with" autism and ASC, because it's not a "disorder" it's just who they are

Oh and answer to the original OP my youngest with autism had a brilliant year, no meltdowns and no biting her nails till their were raw. She was relaxed and happy and loved the predictably of staying at home. My oldest, a teen, with autism was ok-ish. He doesn't do much but what he does do outside the home is very important to him so we had a few dark and depressed days where he was worried he was never going to get to do those things again. That was hard to see as he's usually such a happy kid.

I don't really think there is a difference. DC is a teen with Asd and severe learning difficulties. Apart from school completely socially isolated even pre Covid. No help or support. So what is the difference?

I can see it impacting my NT child more as she cannot access things but my disabled DD? it's the same crappy, restricted and isolated life!

I dont like parents sharing pictures and videos of their autistic children in meltdowns, as an autistic who still has meltdowns, they're private moments of a loss of control.

But of course it's harder for autistics right now, although, I think we all did better as a whole than neurotypicals during proper lockdown. All our worst bits of life stopped existing, people actually respected my person space!

But now theres little consistency or reliability, plans can change at any moment. We're in an awkward middle ground where the government rules and peoples actions aren't adding up.

My autistic dd is thriving. She loves covid school- staying in the class all day, same seat, no noisy stinky dining hall. She loves the strict routines that everyone actually sticks to, the rules, the lack of Christmas fares, plays, special days.

She's done her first ever 100% attendance last half term and she's in year 4.