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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Overreacting?

108 replies

Sarahlp21 · 22/11/2020 15:59

Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years we have a very nearly 3 year old. We moved into our new home at the start of lockdown and I’ve been on furlough since then. I pay the rent (£1000), council tax, the internet and the water and our daughters savings account. He covers the gas/electric and shopping. He earns triple what I do and by the time I’ve finished paying the bills I’m left with hardly any money. He has a lot of finance, an expensive car that costs £400 a month plus the insurance and tax, a motocross bike which is £170 a month. That’s the first issue I have. He does absolutely nothing to help with our daughter or the home. He will come home from work, sit on his phone, eat dinner and then go to bed. Then a lot of the weekends he goes to see his friends, or is out doing things with his car. This month he has brought new stuff for his car and then said he doesn’t have enough money to cover shopping, so I’ve had to pay the extra. He won’t help with putting our daughter to bed, bathing or feeding her. Won’t help with any of the housework, I cook, wash up 7 days a week. If I ask for his help he simply says “I don’t do that, you do that” or “you’re better at it then me” or “I’ve been at work all day and I’m knackered and you’ve been indoors dossing” “I would love your life”. He’s favourite line is “shall we...” basically meaning I have to do it. For example he said to me “shall we clean our daughter up and get her bathed and tidied up because it’s stressing me out you know how I hate mess” and when I said you do it then I’m busy, he said I don’t do that, you do that. He transferred me lower than the usual amount (£100) for the weeks shopping today and said he was going to do his car and I was to go do the weeks shopping on my own. I’ve had enough, I feel like a single Mum of two children. But he always makes me feel like I’m overreacting or being unfair, please can someone enlighten me if I am or not 😞

OP posts:
TheDaydreamBelievers · 02/12/2020 08:20

I'm sorry it turned out like this but honestly glad you are shot of this guy. Get child maintenance in place, particularly as he isnt a low earner

ReallySpicyCurry · 02/12/2020 08:57

What in the name of goodness is the point of this utter waste of space?

Get rid, his absence will be nothing but a benefit to your life, and you might actually be able to get some actual cash off the tight bastard via maintenance

ReallySpicyCurry · 02/12/2020 09:00

Just rtft- delighted you've kicked him out. Hope that this time next year you're in that lovely house with a garden you want for your DD.

CC12939 · 02/12/2020 10:00

Jesus! Didn't expect that latest update! This just goes to show ladies, always trust your instinct! Time to start fresh OP and concentrate on your daughter good luck 🙂

Tinythumbelina · 03/12/2020 12:28

Sell his bike when he's out!. Just joking...Open a new account & put your money in it. DONT mention it. Seek legal advice. Good luck.

Tinythumbelina · 03/12/2020 12:32

Reade your updates. Well done. Definitely sell the bike. I did the same when my son was 2 weeks old..just couldn't support a high earning selfish waste of space

mrstea301 · 03/12/2020 14:27

I'm so pleased for you that you managed to get him out!! Well done!!! You should be really proud of yourself - it's tough to do but you're going to be much better off without him, not only about the financial abuse but he sounds like an emotional vampire as well! You'll be a million times stronger without him and you and your daughter will be great!! 💪💪💪

Make sure you get to CMS and he has to actually pay what he's meant to for your daughter - he'll moan that he can't afford him, but he can. He just needs to prioritise the things that are actually important, and not escorts!

Jetwashingsquirrels · 03/12/2020 17:32

Just read through and you should be so so proud of yourself for getting away from this low life scumbag! Well done OP Flowers

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