Being called a fat bitch

[Onadifferentuniverse]

By your husband

Aibu in thinking this is absolutely not normal and not something anyone should have to tolerate?

@Phrowzunn

As always, these threads make me so, so sad. The fact that the OP has to ask, and then the number of replies that suggest ‘it happens’ and ‘it depends on context’. What has happened to all of you throughout your lives that you have such low, low standards? That your HUSBAND CALLING YOU A FAT BITCH would not be the last thing he ever said to you?! How do you get to that point? Where is your self worth?? I honestly just can’t even imagine having that little respect for myself. But then I do understand that that is easy for me to say as I always had a very loving mum and dad, and their healthy relationship to model my own on. I wish I could help you all, I’m sorry you think this is okay.

some posters see nothing wrong in using the loo in front of their partner. There's a thread about people happy to live in pjs and tracksuits and only make efforts for others, not their partners.

I don't agree with any of those, they are happy with it. Context DOES matter.

Never acceptable to refer to a woman as a 'bitch'. A word should be consigned to history, except to refer to a female canine quadruped.

PlanDeRaccordement

"Meanwhile, in the real world most of us are not perfect human beings and occasionally lose our tempers and say nasty things in the heat of an argument that we do not mean. Its not that our standards are low, but that yours are unrealistically high."

My standards must be unrealistically high then because that would be an absolute dealbreaker for me. In what possible universe is any relationship which includes verbal abuse worth it?

Fuck that shit.

I wouldn't really be able to answer due to the fact some households talk like that to each other as a matter of course .( work in peoples houses for one of the utilities ).
One day at work I was in a house and the "lady "said to her husband move you cunt he was equally as gracious with his reply but that was just normal vocabulary for them .
so without know you all can't answer .

So he doesn’t really think it’s hilarious as it wasn’t said as some poor misjudged attempt at banter. It was said in anger when he was trying to hurt you. So when does he say it’s hilarious? When you confront him later? Does he then try to laugh it off and say he was really just joking and you have taken it the wrong way? Because if he does that’s gaslighting bullshit.

Are you concerned about your weight and he’s trying to use a weakness against you? or is this just something Prince Charming has decided is the worst thing you can say to a woman to hurt them?

Either way he sounds like a cunt.

Tell him you have plans to lose twelve stone of useless fat fairly soon. Then do it.

In what possible universe is any relationship which includes verbal abuse worth it? Fuck that shit.

Once instance of being called a fat bitch in an argument is not a relationship with verbal abuse. The fact you can drop the fuck word so easily tells me you’d have a very difficult time not swearing in an argument yourself.

A fat, rude, limp-dicked bastard

If that's a bit long winded you can call him trump for short.

That is awful he was clearly trying to hurt you. Was there an argument first with insults thrown not excusing it.
I'd never be so hurtful but this week I really wanted to my Dsis called me an ejit then an idiot over something minor she knows I'm insecure about my education I know she is insecure about her weight.
I asked her to leave instead and held my tongue.

OP, that is absolutely disgusting, no it's most definitely not acceptable!!

PlanDeRaccordement

I have no problem with swearing in arguments or otherwise. Swearing in an argument is an entirely different ballgame from hurling a misogynistic insult which is designed to undermine self-esteem.

Sorry, that is never okay lovely.

The fact you can drop the fuck word so easily tells me you’d have a very difficult time not swearing in an argument yourself.

It doesn't tell you anything of the sort, since you don't know the poster. Also, there is a big difference between using swear words during an argument and calling someone offensive names.

No, that is verbal abuse and not acceptable.

@lazylinguist

The fact you can drop the fuck word so easily tells me you’d have a very difficult time not swearing in an argument yourself.

It doesn't tell you anything of the sort, since you don't know the poster. Also, there is a big difference between using swear words during an argument and calling someone offensive names.

Offensive name. One name. Not plural. Said once in an argument. Ridiculous reason for divorce in my opinion. Absolutely zero tolerance. Not even God demands such perfection to get into heaven.

some posters see nothing wrong in using the loo in front of their partner. There's a thread about people happy to live in pjs and tracksuits and only make efforts for others, not their partners.

But those things aren’t the same as verbally abusing someone are they?

@thepeopleversuswork

PlanDeRaccordement

I have no problem with swearing in arguments or otherwise. Swearing in an argument is an entirely different ballgame from hurling a misogynistic insult which is designed to undermine self-esteem.

I don’t see it as a different ballgame at all.

I’m thinking he’s going to be a sad, sorry, celibate, bastard

Personal insults are not acceptable even in the context of an argument. Never a truer word has been spoken in anger.

It’s a whole different ball game using swear words as part of a conversation. But to deliberately insult? No. Not on.

PlanDeRaccordement

"I don’t see it as a different ballgame at all."

Seriously? You think using swear words in a conversation or on a talk board, for emphasis or to express frustration but without being deliberately targeted at an individual, is the same as calling someone a highly offensive and misogynistic word while coupling it with an insult which implies they are both unhealthy and unattractive? When the person on the receiving end is supposed to be the person you most cherish?

You seem like an intelligent poster and I struggle to believe that you genuinely can't the difference. I thought context was supposed to be important?

@Buddytheelf85

some posters see nothing wrong in using the loo in front of their partner. There's a thread about people happy to live in pjs and tracksuits and only make efforts for others, not their partners.

But those things aren’t the same as verbally abusing someone are they?

they are just as bad in my books, and for some people, calling each twat and cunt are not "abusing".

The issue is the OP being upset, but we don't even know the background.

You can't judge other people based on your own standards. I am horrified when I read half the threads we have very different standards!

Revolting behavior, disrespectful and verbally abusive.
Please don't put up with it.

Start calling him Limp Dick or Little Willie.

See how uproariously he laughs then!

I am fat, and probably quite the bitch at times, but in 25 years of marriage my DH has never called me a fat bitch.

Nor would he, because he is a decent human being who would never result to name calling or fat shaming. If you're fat or slim your DH should NEVER say anything like that to you. Massively disrespectful and lacking in intellect and probably lacking in other departments too! .

I regularly call my slim and gorgeous fiancé a fat bastard because he eats everything and never puts weight on - same as me. It's said with love and taken as it's intended, as a term of endearment. This is the only sort of way it can ever be ok to say something like that to your partner. I don't understand why anyone would abuse someone they love - or accept abuse in return.