Why are so many people struggling with life?

[Letsgetgoing888]

Not just due to covid, but it’s definitely been highlighted more recently....

But in recent years there seem so many more angry people, stressed people, depressed people, people that can’t control their temper, mental health issues, obese kids, obese adults, people who don’t look after themselves or their kids properly...

I know mental health services are woefully inadequate, but generally as a society we are talking more about mental health, provide benefits, charity support, free healthcare and so much more than in the past.

But more people seem to be really struggling in many different ways, health wise, financially, mentally, emotionally. Suicide rates are higher now than in the past (even pre-covid).

Did they have it right in the old days of stiff upper lip? And if not, why are things so much worse now when there is so much more awareness?

@Yesyoudoknowme I think it’s abit harsh to call modern suicide reasons “trivial”, it’s quite obvious we are facing a mental health crisis and children face pressure never before known.
Mobile phone haven’t been around that long really and have become a constant in most people’s lives. Bullies are able to be truly relentless and there is no escape and constant pressure to be a certain way from SM, youtube, adverts, tv.

True but it helps to have lower expectations. I never expected my parents to live near me, or provide any childcare, or support me financially as an adult. I know countless friends who've got really down by feeling disappointed by their parents not doing one or more of these, whereas I didnt expect it and have a happy relationship with my parents on that basis

Agree.

In a lot of countries it's more acceptable to be living in a wing off the main relatively small house or in a converted garage or like my family in Argentina where it's comparatively cheap to put up a corrugated tin house and live a comfortable life the same as everyone else along the street. IUn the UK if you are not living in accomodation of a certain calibre you are deemed 'other' and people are not comfortable with that.
In reality there are probably tens of thousands of people living in camper vans, vans, on boats, in garden sheds, in garages and stuff but I believe it's not spoken about in the press or on TV because when things are discussed they become more acceptable and the government wants it's taxes in for addresses and it must not be allowed to become mainstream like living on trailer parks is in the USA as that just would not do!
When I left home in 1980 I rented a cottage from a farmer for £50 a month. I earned £89 a week and my employer paid my rent anyway. I had the choice of about seven cottages and landlords! There were houses and cottages lying empty. You could get a council house or flat with relative ease, especially if you were prepared to clean it and make it nice.

I was able to work and save up a deposit on a house in a renter and I rode on the crest of the wave that was the house price escalation of the eighties and nineties.

A friend went from a one bed studio apartment that was a basic bedsitter then house hopping to a five bed detached in the space of eight years still paying the same amount of mortgage as she had for the bedsitter!
Getting a roof over your head and having a tonne of disposable income was a piece of cake back then. Now it is all but impossible. I had a lovely time in my twenties and thirties. I left home when I was seventeen and very much had a life for myself. Not being able to do that must be a massive stressor for adolescents and young people. You can't exactly have the active sex life and social life you want if you are 28 and still living at home. You can't even decorate how you want or grow veggies and go out and get pissed like I had the chance to do.

@Icecreamscooper haha yes they’re probably supposed to be worn with crop tops and ugly trainers I imagine.

I haven't RTFT but what I see now is how reliant the new generation is on upon their parents. My youngest is 12 and oldest 18, and I just got on with things. My parents came to visit to see the children and I treated them like guests. There is so much hand wringing now about how difficult it is to have a child and grandparents not pulling their weight. Thirty somethings complain about not getting financial help from their parents and they resent them for having a life now that they are retired.

People struggle now because they are so molly coddled and wrapped in cotton wool they don't understand what hardship actually is.

The only way people,especially kids learn how to deal with things is by being thrown amongst it at an early age and being able to build up a resistance.

Parents nowadays often don't even let kids play out which in my eyes is tantamount to child abuse.

No one in this day and age in the uk suffers hardship. We are the luckiest, richest, safest most pampered people to have lived on this planet in the whole of human history. Even those on benefits are rich in comparison to world standards. It really is perplexing that they are often the 1st ones to complain!

Be thankful, not to mention grateful for everything you have in this wonderful country.

Capitalism.

there is more awareness - and there are more problems, for example, with the psyche - it works this way, the more we know, the more we think - we drive ourselves into a dead end and look for problems. Ignorance often saves - I'm sorry, but not the smartest people or not responsible people worry less and have no mental health problems. they just don't bother.

@Louiselhrau - I would agree that we are very lucky generally to many people. To say that no, one suffers hardship, jsut because they live in the UK is a bit off. The 15 year old girl being drugged and used in the sex industry may differ.

Or the family who have been made redundant and living on food banks and can not heat their home may also differ.

I do however agree that 'poor' is relative. When i grew up, it was literally work to eat, pay the bills and that is it. People walking around with £1000 phones and luxury houshold items, complaining they are skint is also a bit off.

@amijustparanoidorjuststoned

Capitalism.

Are you for real? You do understand it's capitalism to thank we arnt all starving and dying in the streets.

No one in this day and age in the uk suffers hardship.

That simply isn't true.

People walking around with £1000 phones and luxury houshold items, complaining they are skint is also a bit off.

Having said that, it is getting almost impossible to job-search without a mobile phone, you often can't claim benefits without being able to download apps, can't even get tested for Covid without a mobile phone number.

@WitchesSpelleas

No one in this day and age in the uk suffers hardship.

That simply isn't true.

A staggering statement to state that not one of the 66million people suffers hardship

@corythatwas

People walking around with £1000 phones and luxury houshold items, complaining they are skint is also a bit off.

Having said that, it is getting almost impossible to job-search without a mobile phone, you often can't claim benefits without being able to download apps, can't even get tested for Covid without a mobile phone number.

I agree with this, it was not a dig at people owning them, jsut trying to convey the differences between 'skint' when I grew up to 'skint' today.

My Mum was born in the 1950s and is one of the few people in her generation that admit that life for younger people is much harder.

My Grandmother was born in 1930s to a working-class family, her Dad died when she was 3 and money was very tight as a result. She got married when 3 months pregnant with my mum at the age of 19. She'd left school with next to no qualifications, the same as my Grandad.
They lived with my great parents until they were given a Council house in 1954. It was a 3 bed semi with a huge back garden and a sense of community in the road. My Grandad was only ever a lorry driver, he delivered bread to corner shops for a living.

My Nan never had to work, she sometimes did a bit of waitressing now and again for 'pin money'. Her mornings were spent doing housework, looking after the children and the afternoons tending to her beautiful garden and growing tomatoes in the greenhouse.

The 1980's saw them given the 'Right to buy ' their council house, which they did for a few thousand pounds. The late 80's they sold their council house and were able to do a straight swap for a lovely, brand new Bungalow about 5 minutes from a rural part of the River Thames.

When my Nan died in 2004 it sold for around £169k and according to an online check it is worth today £384k

My Nan never had to worry about improving herself with further education, my Grandad worked as a delivery man all his working life, up early but usually home around 1pm. Child care was never a problem and my Nan never had to work full time; bills could be covered without a need for her to even work part time.

Imagine them today. Two young people, 19 years old, no qualifications, no home of their own and a baby on the way. What would their future hold? I don't think I would be wrong to say that I am certain it would not be the good life that my Grandparents enjoyed.

Also, I wonder what life is like for the delivery drivers of today? Can they have a roof over their heads with ease? Can they afford to live on one wage? I very much doubt it.

@corythatwas

People walking around with £1000 phones and luxury houshold items, complaining they are skint is also a bit off.

Having said that, it is getting almost impossible to job-search without a mobile phone, you often can't claim benefits without being able to download apps, can't even get tested for Covid without a mobile phone number.

You are absolutely right.

But you don't have to spend £1000 to get a smart phone. You can get one for less than £100. Even i-phones start at around £300.

I'm not saying even, say £60 for a cheap smartphone is affordable to all - just that you don't have to spend £1000 on one.

the problem is that "hardship" is very relative, and so is "poverty".

It's not a bad thing if our country is such that people no longer want the very basics, but want MORE. They'll never get as rich as the richest though, so on that level will never be satisfied (hey, I am working class, nowhere near the top levels!)

But we can accept that it's a positive that everyone has access to food, shelter, running water, medical care, education, legal protection and freedom as the bare minimum. it's not a given unfortunately.

Lack of resilience and believing that you don’t need to lift a finger to have everything you want and need handed to you.

I think it's due to social media, pressure to be perfect at everything. Also no family help in a lot of instances, as people move further away from their families. We're being bombarded by adverts, telling us we need the latest and best everything.

For the record, I've been unable to work for a while due to illness, but my phone cost £99, everything I own is second hand, e.g my TV cost £50, and I don't have a laptop, just a very old desktop I took when my marriage broke up. It's unfair to assume everyone on benefits has a £1000 phone etc. We don't receive enough to live off, my housing benefit doesn't even cover half my rent. For that reason, I'll be working again as soon as I can.

No, of course you don΄t need a 1000 pound phone. But how many poor people, people on benefits, people using food banks, do walk around with a 1000 pound phone? Seems a bit of a straw man to me.

But we can accept that it's a positive that everyone has access to food, shelter, running water, medical care, education, legal protection and freedom

But they don't. Shelter gives the number of homeless in the UK as 280,000. If you're homeless you have no shelter. Your access to running water is limited. You may find it difficult to receive medical care or claim benefits to buy food.

@corythatwas

No, of course you don΄t need a 1000 pound phone. But how many poor people, people on benefits, people using food banks, do walk around with a 1000 pound phone? Seems a bit of a straw man to me.

That's the point I'm making - people who describe themselves as 'poor' will probably only have a very basic and/or second hand phone.

I keep waiting for people to set up off-grid communities, back to basics etc
I think it might come - the proliferation of fake news and, according to a radio 4 Law programme, fake documents which are impossible to tell from the real thing, we are all stuffed really. Someone will raid your bank account, claim your house as they have the documents, claim your car etc etc etc, they'll have the 'proof' and it's your word against theirs. Something has to give.

@Caeruleanblue

I keep waiting for people to set up off-grid communities, back to basics etc I think it might come - the proliferation of fake news and, according to a radio 4 Law programme, fake documents which are impossible to tell from the real thing, we are all stuffed really. Someone will raid your bank account, claim your house as they have the documents, claim your car etc etc etc, they'll have the 'proof' and it's your word against theirs. Something has to give.

I've seriously considered, once I retire, seeking a life 'off grid'. Impossible when you have to work, but if there are off-grid communities by the time I retire, I would definitely look into whether they'd accept me.