Suprise snowballed - what do I do now!

[binkyblinky]

TL:DR - do I still give vouchers, or do I send cash? would really like some opinions on this please!

Earlier in the year, a lady from my school set up a Facebook chat no we left school at 1995, so are all in our 40s now.

The lady who set it up didn't have a pleasant experience at school I believe, I believe she has some form of learning disability. She messages the chat every couple of days asking how everyone is, and trying to start conversations. It is clear to me and several of my former classmates that she is incredibly lonely. She has said in the past that she didn't have the best experience at school.

We are very grateful for her setting up the chat and putting people back in touch.

She has had a terrible year. [MNHQ have edited these details to protect identity]

I thought it would be a kind gesture to have a small collection for her, intending to send her some supermarket gift vouchers so that she could perhaps buy all her and her daughters's Christmas food 'on us', so I set up a just giving account and hoped to raise £50-£100 for her.

Well! It's snowballed a bit. And currently I have £295!

Now. This is a large sum of money. It could really help her! Do I send her the cash (I have her address) - or do I send her £100 supermarket vouchers and £200 love to shop vouchers? I don't know much of her situation, whether she is in debt or not. But I kind of feel that it would be great for her to not have to worry about gifts for her daughter, and Christmas food.

AIBU to still give vouchers? Or do I send her cash? (Into her bank account)

Would love some opinions / ideas x

Do you want to explain why its so completely insane to give poor people vouchers for M&S instead of Tesco, as a gift? You think theyre not good enough for the better quality food, or what?

because your money - or in this case vouchers possibly, go so much further in Tesco or Asda than they do in Waitrose or M&S

If I was short of money and need to spread it further - id rather a cheaper supermarket than an expensive shop for the reason id last 5 weeks rather than 4

We are comfortable and would still prefer Tesco vouchers to M&S. I go to M&S as a treat.

@ivykaty44

No, that's not true.

You are allowed to receive gifts, which is what this is. The only thing that reduces UC is the amount you earn in a month and savings over £6,000

but if this woman suddenly has £300 cash show up in her bank statements - U.C will ask where it from and why she's been given the money

keep it simple and gift £300 in supermarket vouchers

if she wants to buy other stuff in the supermarket she can

but if she just wants to buy food to get by then she can

vouchers will not unwittingly get her into bother with any benefits and she can spend through January if needed

The UC can not see what is in your bank account. They would need a court order to access your bank. It's private. UC can only see PAYE.

Agree with not using love to shop. I have £200 and can't spend them as the only decent shop (argos) are currently only taking payment online.

To receive benefit in the U.K. you can be requested and frequently are for bank statements. You’re not at liberty to provide them but the consequence of not producing bank statements when requested is withdrawal of state benefits

Send cash.

She doesn't have to put it into her bank account.

And no court order is needed to request bank statements, it’s in the small print when you claim

Don't send cash, that's not a gift, that's charity

Cash is not charity. That's a very snobby view. I regularly give cash gifts to family members. Then they get to buy what they want. Getting cash is not an insult.

Cash gives the recipient the gift of choice.

@Snaileyes
^^Maybe enjoying your ‘dilemma’ a bit?
You’ve been told your amazing off MN maybe just get on with what ever your going to give her.
Please dont take a picture of you handing it over for facebook though..**

Why would you even say that shit? She’s not posting for admiration, thanks from you or anyone else. I genuinely can’t see what your problem is. You’ve come across as a bitter old cow. Not everyone has your mentality or the seeking of approval. You can tell this isn’t a gushy ‘look what I’m doing post’ so I find it hard to understand why you would be so harsh in your comments??

What a lovely thing to do!!! I’m so glad that there are genuinely kind people still out there!!!

Op what a kind thing to do... But please send by special delivery as recorded delivery does not cover cash/vouchers it they go missing.

[quote nonicks]****@Snaileyes**
^^Maybe enjoying your ‘dilemma’ a bit?
You’ve been told your amazing off MN maybe just get on with what ever your going to give her.
Please dont take a picture of you handing it over for facebook though..**

Why would you even say that shit? She’s not posting for admiration, thanks from you or anyone else. I genuinely can’t see what your problem is. You’ve come across as a bitter old cow. Not everyone has your mentality or the seeking of approval. You can tell this isn’t a gushy ‘look what I’m doing post’ so I find it hard to understand why you would be so harsh in your comments??[/quote]
Yes I probably am bitter. Bitter about the complete lack of awareness of the reality of life of low income families.

It blows my mind that some posters think low income families would ‘deserve’ a nice M&S hamper or JL vouchers rather than having the piece of mind to be able to spend that much needed money on what they think is vital. It’s a bit ‘Marie Antoinette’

Piece of mind wins over a new pair of fluffy slippers and canapés any day.

Yes maybe I was a bit short/cynical of op and her ‘dilemma’ but I found it irritating to be honest. It’s not really a ‘dilemma’ is it? A dilemma is choosing where to put your money in - gas or electric if you’ve only got a fiver left.

You can buy prepaid credit cards that are not linked up to any bank. We normally get ours from the travel agents ect before we go abroad. They work fine in the U.K. too.

OP can stick the money on there and then her friend can buy what she wants as it’s her money.

The ‘old cow’ comment made me chuckle.

Your linguistic slip conveys your anger for you snaileyes Giving peace of mind vs I'll give you a piece of my mind.

This is a dilemma for OP. It's a situation she hasn't faced before and she wants to make it work for the recipient.

@lottiegarbanzo

Your linguistic slip conveys your anger for you snaileyes Giving peace of mind vs I'll give you a piece of my mind.

This is a dilemma for OP. It's a situation she hasn't faced before and she wants to make it work for the recipient.

Well I suppose if you look into anything hard enough you’ll find also sorts of hidden meanings

Do you want to explain why its so completely insane to give poor people vouchers for M&S instead of Tesco, as a gift? You think theyre not good enough for the better quality food, or what

Because it's not necessarily 'better quality' its just more expensive. And you can get lots of nice things in normal supermarkets (for clarity, M&S, Waitrose and JL are not 'normal shops', they're expensive unless you shop very carefully).

Like a PP says, when you're poor, you're quite likely to see what looks like the same/very similar food that's twice the price as a waste and it will be quite stressful spending in the more expensive shop because it will always be on your mind that you could have got a lot more in your usual shop.

If the OPs friend lives near a Tesco and it's likely that she would shop there, that's a good choice, as would be a prepaid debit card or something like Love to Shop vouchers (or one for all card) as you can spend them in a lot of places.

The other bonus of supermarket vouchers is that they're almost certainly not going to go bust and just about every household spends at least a couple of hundred pounds a month in one or can do without much difficulty.

So even if the supermarket doesn't sell what she wants to buy, she can use the voucher for her normal shopping, freeing up the value of the voucher to buy something else from anywhere.

[quote binkyblinky]@poorlyearboy yes you can! I love you call it 'big asda'
I live in Milton Keynes, we have the biggest Asda in Europe![/quote]
Do you now?

Near us there is a massive Asda that has two floors. Even one floor is the biggest Asda I've ever seen and the second floor makes it doubly so.

Ignore the dicks @binkyblinky
That’s a really kind thing to do. As it is a larger sum than expected maybe ask her.

That person is right though BarbaraofSeville, they do have a bigger Asda than your Asda. Can't believe I just typed that. Who cares about the size of their Asda store.

M and S and Waitrose are definitely normal shops. It's quite bizarre to say that they aren't. Aren't gifts supposed to be treats anyway. I had to use Asda once or twice during the lockdown and the quality of some of it was awful and I had to throw some of it away. I would rather have Lidl vouchers or Aldi over Asda any day.

I would send cash rather than vouchers. At least the friend gets to choose where to spend it. If they want M and S they can or use Asda. Whatever.

@ivykaty44

No, that's not true.

You are allowed to receive gifts, which is what this is. The only thing that reduces UC is the amount you earn in a month and savings over £6,000

but if this woman suddenly has £300 cash show up in her bank statements - U.C will ask where it from and why she's been given the money

keep it simple and gift £300 in supermarket vouchers

if she wants to buy other stuff in the supermarket she can

but if she just wants to buy food to get by then she can

vouchers will not unwittingly get her into bother with any benefits and she can spend through January if needed

Yes they might question it, although unlikely, but neither the friend nor the op will have done anything wrong. It's easily proved to be a gift and not earnings and that's all UC care about.

We sometimes give my daughter money for something or other and she is on UC. It's fine. Honestly.

M and S and Waitrose are definitely normal shops. It's quite bizarre to say that they aren't. Aren't gifts supposed to be treats anyway

Said someone fortunate to never have to budget or worry about money.

I had to use Asda once or twice during the lockdown and the quality of some of it was awful and I had to throw some of it away. I would rather have Lidl vouchers or Aldi over Asda any day

Are the Heinz beans, Warburtons bread or Walker's crisps special low quality versions produced for Asda? Of course not.

@BarbaraofSeville

M and S and Waitrose are definitely normal shops. It's quite bizarre to say that they aren't. Aren't gifts supposed to be treats anyway

Said someone fortunate to never have to budget or worry about money.

I had to use Asda once or twice during the lockdown and the quality of some of it was awful and I had to throw some of it away. I would rather have Lidl vouchers or Aldi over Asda any day

Are the Heinz beans, Warburtons bread or Walker's crisps special low quality versions produced for Asda? Of course not.

Ah, competitive poverty. No thanks. I could tell you may background to prove you wrong about me, but why should I.

I'm obviously taking about things like veg, not tinned beans. It's a waste of money to buy bags of vegetables and have to chuck them because they were rotten. This did happen.

I'm not a food snob and regularly shop in Lidl, but our local Asda is rubbish.

She said she loves Morrisons, so that's where I'm going to buy her a voucher for. And then I'm going to put the rest on a pre-loaded Visa card so she can spend as she chooses.

@BarbaraofSeville google it - honestly it's absolutely huge! (What a funny conversation )

Thankyou to all the nice comments. Not why I made this post but it's nice all the same.

Any misery guts can bog off- I asked for advice, which I got, and I am grateful for. Oh, @Snaileyes - I AM enjoying the dilemma of having £300 to help someone who needs it - because I asked for help and it came back so much bigger and better. I'm so pleased at how kind people are. There are kind people in the world you know.

Double check those visa ones. I bought mum one once (or was it MasterCard, can't remember) honestly it was an absolute nightmare to spend. No one accepted it. DH bought it back off her in the end as it was useless