Teacher bullying

[Titch56]

My child is 9yr old. He made a rude gesture in the school playground. Not at any one he was just stood on his own and decided to do this. I am not condoning in any way what he did. My problems is that it took three members of staff, a TA, his class teacher and the headteacher to tell him off for this. The poor child was intimidated and embarrassed.
I think this is teacher bullying.
He owned up to his indiscretion and said he was sorry. Why three teachers, I feel his own class teacher would have been enough.
Thoughts please

YABU it’s not bullying it’s discipline. Possibly a bit of an overreaction or possibly your child isn’t telling you the full story.

He was naughty, he got told off. Stop undermining the school and support them. If he’s not generally naughty he probably isn’t used to being in trouble at school which is why he’s upset, but you just need to tell him this is what happens when you misbehave, you can avoid it by behaving better in the future.

The big question pandemic or not is
Why are teachers not communicating clearly such behaviour going on at school.

Especially with 3 teachers being involved.
Did they yell at him?
I think I would be calling the school to get clear information and explanation.
Bullying not sure maybe reinforcement but

No, the TA told him off first, in front of the everyone in the dinning hall, Then his class teacher in the classroom, then the head teacher sent for him to go to her office.

Excessive!

You’ve implied the teachers are bullying your son, and that’s just absurd and widely inaccurate. Three teachers told him off, it’s done now, the lesson has hopefully been learnt and he do it again.

I agree with you, it does sound excessive. Maybe in a school with only 70 pupils they don't have much going on......

I agree with you it does sound over the top that he was told off three times, it sounds disproportionate to the "crime".
Personally, I wouldn't complain I would just let it blow over; perhaps it just got escalated because someone was being over officious that day and punishments are not always distributed fairly, but I understand why you are upset about it.

@Titch56

There is no need to be rude. Yes my child is precious to me. I don't have a problem with him being disciplined by school, if it's constructive and carried out correctly. My child is taught right from wrong and yes I discipline him at home too. I am not embarrassed by what he did, he admitted it was wrong, why he suddenly did it in the school playground, who knows, he's a child. They experiment is natural. I still think it was handled badly.

This is the entire problem, in all your posts you are making excuses for his behaviour and stating how quiet and lovely he usually is. He wasn’t ‘experimenting’ he was naughty and he was disciplined for it. You need to accept this rather than trying to deflect the blame onto the school.

As I say to the children in my class when they use the ‘B’ word, it’s not bullying unless it’s happening repeatedly. If it’s just once, it’s just an unpleasant experience.

You are clearly overreacting.

Profanity is a big no-no in the school culture where I work, and for a 9 year old (assuming Year 5?), a potentially detention worthy infraction. In all likelihood, if it was initially spotted by a t.a., they'd be duty bound to report it to the class teacher, and the teacher might refer to the Head.

It's not bullying, it's a consistent discipline policy that you as a parent should be thrilled that your school is actually following.

A telling off does not mean being shouted at--more likely firm but fair.

@mcmooberry

I agree with you, it does sound excessive. Maybe in a school with only 70 pupils they don't have much going on......

Schools with 70 pupils have fewer staff. The work load is still there so the staff actually have more to do. Hope this helps.

Maybe change your thread title to excessive telling off, as bullying is quite different

@HOkieCOkie

This is why we have such a problem in this country with discipline and respect. Parents constantly undermining and questioning teachers.

Questioning is bad or wrong? If a child has been in trouble and no communication with the parent about the event well no that is unprofessional. As a teacher your job is taking behaviour issues to the parent when something is out of character I'd imagine or hope.

@Titch56

He's a 9 year old child. growing, learning developing, pushing boundaries. all very natural. I did deal with it at home. Perhaps you all feel it's OK three adults x one child, I do not. These are the things that impact children's thoughts, anger. How these incidents are handled is so important.

Yes I went into the school foyer, which was far more dangerous for me as I felt this was so important and the state of my child was heartbreaking.

Perhaps you all do think I am over reacting but I know my child and this was over the top

'the state of my child was heartbreaking'. OP, I think maybe you are blowing this out of proportion. He did something wrong, he got told off and was suitable ashamed of himself. Lesson learned. From your tone, I suspect you are telling him that he didn't deserve that telling off. Don't be THAT parent.

You ever been bullied op? I was. For about 8 years. Don’t minimise what I went through by calling what the teachers did as bullying - was it more than was warranted? Perhaps. Maybe it was a very bad sign? Maybe he’s done it before? Absolutely a misuse of the word bullying - he was not bullied. He was told off too many times for your liking. You have massively overreacted.

Are you trying to teach your child

a) he is a victim and the world is to blame for his problems

b) sometimes we do the wrong thing and have to apologise. Being in the wrong does not feel good. Don't do that thing again.

@nomdeplume2019 my mum never questioned the teachers. If I swore I’d get in trouble and if I told my mum she’d say good you shouldn’t be swearing. no discussion needed really.

OP at first I thought you were the parent who sent me a snotty email yesterday about how I dealt with her precious DS but mine was an older child. There are striking similarities between the two cases.

In my case the little darling has gone home & cried to mummy that horrid Mrs Malbec has disciplined him. Of course he told mummy he didn't do it. The fact is, in front of 30 other kids, he admitted it, then (to his credit) apologised. However, the fact remains that he broke at least 2 school rules and potentially put another student at Covid risk, so I was quite harsh with him for a couple of reasons. Firstly, his behaviour was puerile when he was meant to be listening to me. Secondly, the risk he posed by using another student's machine, something not allowed even in non-Covid times. Thirdly, to send a strong message to the rest of the class that this sort of behaviour will be stamped down on.

We have so few sanctions available to us. Unlike some of the rest of the country, we can't sit at home on furlough watching Netflix. We have our own caring responsibilities and are completely stressed out by interacting with up to 180 different kids each day. When a kid does something stupid & thoughtless, we are going to clamp down on it. If you don't like it, may I suggest you take sole responsibility for educating your DS to be a well-qualified asset to society and remove him from school completely. Then come back and tell us all how to do our jobs.

Thank you all for your comments I will close this thread now.

What was the gesture he made? As some are worse than others. And what did the school say in response?

Seems bad to need three staff reprimanding him but perhaps it's to put other children off copying him, you know if they pulled him to one side to discipline then other children would not necessarily see that what he has done is wrong.

I’m actually with you on this OP. It’s not the telling off that you disagree with it’s the fact that three fully grown adults told him off at the same time.

Probably humiliating him in the process ( even if PP agrees that was deserved ) it didn’t NEED to be done by three grown adults in front of presumably all his peers.
You DS has undoubtedly done wrong and was reprimanded for it as he should of been, but there are ways and means of expressing a point and this wasn’t it.

it’s the fact that three fully grown adults told him off at the same time.

They didn't tell him off at the same time.

malbecfan hmm I think you'll find there are plenty of parents that have been working outside of the home ALL the way through this pandemic, not just since September, and lots of us are tired already with teacher rhetoric of they're the only ones at risk

@SoupDragon
Sorry I must of misread the OP it came across that they all reprimanded the DS at the same time.
If he was addressed separately by the teachers then that’s completely different.

[quote LegallyBlondeee]@SoupDragon
Sorry I must of misread the OP it came across that they all reprimanded the DS at the same time.
If he was addressed separately by the teachers then that’s completely different.[/quote]
Yes, it does sound like that in the OP - it was only later that she said it was on separate occasions.

Your child did something wrong and you’re blaming the teachers for telling him off? You’re over reacting .