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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sack the music teacher

116 replies

Stopandlook · 17/11/2020 17:55

We have had a music teacher giving weekly private lessons to my two children. We found him through a local paper, and have had him for 3 years.
He’s a bit abrupt but I’ve just thought socially awkward, and the children get on fine with him.
In the first lockdown he charged £5 less total 2 classes as he wasn’t using travel time or petrol. Fair and fine because the quality of zoom teaching is less.
Since September we have had one lockdown lesson on Zoom as dd was self isolating. He said that was the full price - fair enough as it was only us.
We are obviously back on Zoom now and paying by bank transfer. He messaged us the day after the lesson asking for the payment as it was due on the day of the lesson. We then paid the £5 less again. He messaged us to say thank you but it is the incorrect amount and should be £5 more. No explanation.
When I questioned it he just said quite aggressively ‘Please pay the £5’
Previously we have always paid in full, on the day of the lesson, for 3 years.
DH thinks he is an arsehole for being so aggressive to people who have welcomed him into our home for 3 years, provide coffee each week and pay a fortune for lessons, and he wants to cut him off. Is he BU?

OP posts:
Fifthtimelucky · 17/11/2020 18:01

I would just ask politely why he is now charging the full amount again, given that you are back on zoom.

But I don't understand the point about only having one lesson as your daughter was self-isolating. Couldn't she have zoom lessons while she was isolating?

And if not, did you pay for the lessons that were missed? Many music teachers would still expect to be paid if you missed a lesson.

Original poster
Stopandlook · 17/11/2020 18:05

Pre lockdown 2, we had another Zoom lesson that we paid full price for, because she was self isolating but the rest of his students wouldn’t be.
I did ask him why. His reply was ‘please pay £5’

OP posts:
Original poster
Stopandlook · 17/11/2020 18:06

(The rest of pre lockdown has been face to face and always pay cash on the day)

OP posts:
WillSantaBeComingToTown · 17/11/2020 18:07

He is self employed
He probably has no money
He needs to eat

He is probably stressed about it all and has poor social skills to begin with.

It is not a good time to be self employed.

Quartz2208 · 17/11/2020 18:09

I am finding in lockdown part 2 most Zoom now doesnt have the concessions of the first time around. The first time I think it was all new and they did it without thinking to get through. Now they cant really afford to

That said it was always full price for music over Zoom for us

Original poster
Stopandlook · 17/11/2020 18:10

No, it’s not that he’s poor. He’s not. He’s just rude and aggressive. Do we put up with it or move on?

DH and I are generous people who always pay on time.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stopandlook · 17/11/2020 18:11

@Quartz2208

I am finding in lockdown part 2 most Zoom now doesnt have the concessions of the first time around. The first time I think it was all new and they did it without thinking to get through. Now they cant really afford to

That said it was always full price for music over Zoom for us

It may well be that, and he’s been discussing with colleagues, and that’s fine. It’s the aggressiveness to people who have always paid him that’s the issue, not the fiver.
OP posts:
SionnachRua · 17/11/2020 18:11

He could probably afford to be a little more generous during the first lockdown as he didn't think another one would be coming. Times change, you don't know his financial situation - it's very abrupt from him yes but I wouldn't quibble too much over 5 quid.

Tbh I don't read a message of "please pay the five pounds" as being particularly aggressive (assuming that's all it was).

ilovesooty · 17/11/2020 18:14

If I were him I'd be recontracting to request full payment prior to the sessions.

Original poster
Stopandlook · 17/11/2020 18:16

@ilovesooty

If I were him I'd be recontracting to request full payment prior to the sessions.
Why? I’ve just said we always pay and it’s not about the money. We paid our cleaner throughout lockdown, we are not tight. And we don’t have a contract.
OP posts:
Fifthtimelucky · 17/11/2020 18:16

I wonder whether he is more abrupt than usual because many of his pupils are querying his charges (or perhaps cancelling lessons they no longer afford) and he is getting stressed. Also you have changed your previous practice of paying on the same say to paying a day later so he may be trying to nip that in the bud.

If the children like him and you think he is doing a good job I'd be tempted to keep him.

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 17/11/2020 18:18

I think it’s just different styles of communication - he’s more direct, you’re not.
I don’t think he was particularly rude but with text messages the reader has to infer the tone.

ilovesooty · 17/11/2020 18:19

Why? Because if he has a contract he protects himself and puts clear expectations in place. Many self employed people providing services ask for full payment prior to sessions. It's not about you and whether you're tight or not.

justanotherneighinparadise · 17/11/2020 18:19

Oh my god get rid. He might then understand that biting the hand that feeds you is a really stupid idea.

GG999 · 17/11/2020 18:22

Why wouldn't you have a conversation about it with him like a normal adult? Ask him if the £5 discount still applies.

WillSantaBeComingToTown · 17/11/2020 18:22

@Stopandlook

No, it’s not that he’s poor. He’s not. He’s just rude and aggressive. Do we put up with it or move on?

DH and I are generous people who always pay on time.

How do you know? Lockdown has had a massive impact on people

My income has dropped by 80%.

I still live in a large house in an affluent area with a big newish (paid for car) but I can't afford to live much longer on 20% of my usual income. Most people plan for 6 months of savings - that has gone.

GlowingOrb · 17/11/2020 18:26

He isn’t offering a discount this lockdown. Accept that or don’t. He told you once nicely that you can paid the wrong amount. Instead of paying you pushed back. He doesn’t need to be nice the second time.

DryRoastPeanut · 17/11/2020 18:28

I couldn’t vote as I’m not entirely sure which way your voting works, but I’d get rid of the music teacher.

buzzbuzzbumble · 17/11/2020 18:29

Most music teachers have not reduced their prices for zoom (I am one) and I would dispute that the quality is less. Perhaps your teacher has belatedly realised this. I would be surprised if the time he has saved from not travelling between houses has not been spent in learning the best ways to give online lessons. However, he should have told you if he previously charged less for Zoom lessons and now isn't.

Your children are still receiving lessons from a teacher who has exactly the same amount of expertise and experience as he had previously. He has adapted to not being able to give face to face lessons and you should be grateful for this. Surely he has Ts and Cs under which you are liable to pay if you quit without notice?

Please remember that self employed people have had very little help from the government, there is no furlough scheme for us and the other ways we had of making money from our skills - playing in concerts, accompanying soloists have all been closed down by the government. Please do the right thing and give the poor man his £5

BexR · 17/11/2020 18:29

Hmm it was a bit of a dick response. He could have just said I've had to go back to full price due to circumstances.

But I wouldnt cut him off cos of that. He's provided a service for 3 years and I guess been ok with your children.

Think of it as being the bigger person and forgiving a silly response.

LolaSmiles · 17/11/2020 18:31

It sounds like there's been some miscommunication somewhere but after politely saying the amount paid was wrong, I'm not surprised if he was slightly more abrupt after getting pushback from you.

I think he has been a bit too abrupt but at the end of the day he still has to live and he is still providing the lessons. Given you apparently aren't bothered about the £5, I'm not sure why you didn't pay when he first mentioned it or said 'not a problem, are we back to normal prices now?' and paid.

buzzbuzzbumble · 17/11/2020 18:34

No, it’s not that he’s poor. He’s not

How the hell do you know his financial situation? And why didn't you pay on the day of the lesson? If you don't pay and quit without notice I hope he takes you straight to the small claims court.

Bettina500 · 17/11/2020 18:35

I'm a bit torn on this because yes he was quite rude and it wouldn't hurt him to explain why the charges are in full this time. Equally I wouldn't have automatically assumed there was a discount this time round.
He might be embarrassed, some people don't like talking money, especially if as you say he's not the greatest communicator anyway.
You don't know he's well off. He might be struggling in this climate, people might be cancelling lessons making cut backs or not wanting to pay for them over Zoom only. You just don't know. So I would be a bit more forgiving than usual.

Missannelliot · 17/11/2020 18:36

I think it is fine for him to change his policy and charge the full amount. I think this is pretty common for this lockdown as the first one went on for so long people can no longer afford the reduced rates. However, he has not explained this to you. He has twice demanded payment without a polite explanation of the policy/pricing change. You just can’t run a business and be rude to customers. It just doesn’t work like that.

I would have no problem paying him the full amount. But I would ask him to be more clear if he is changing him prices in the future and to be honest I would be looking for a teacher who is more pleasant to deal with. But it’s up to you-if he is a good teacher you might want to let it go and say nothing.

littlepeas · 17/11/2020 18:48

His wording suggests he doesn’t want to be drawn into an argument over £5. Just pay him. If he’s good and your dc like him then don’t sack him. It’s tough to be self-employed at the moment (am self employed teacher of a different sort).