To sack the music teacher

[Stopandlook]

We have had a music teacher giving weekly private lessons to my two children. We found him through a local paper, and have had him for 3 years.
He’s a bit abrupt but I’ve just thought socially awkward, and the children get on fine with him.
In the first lockdown he charged £5 less total 2 classes as he wasn’t using travel time or petrol. Fair and fine because the quality of zoom teaching is less.
Since September we have had one lockdown lesson on Zoom as dd was self isolating. He said that was the full price - fair enough as it was only us.
We are obviously back on Zoom now and paying by bank transfer. He messaged us the day after the lesson asking for the payment as it was due on the day of the lesson. We then paid the £5 less again. He messaged us to say thank you but it is the incorrect amount and should be £5 more. No explanation.
When I questioned it he just said quite aggressively ‘Please pay the £5’
Previously we have always paid in full, on the day of the lesson, for 3 years.
DH thinks he is an arsehole for being so aggressive to people who have welcomed him into our home for 3 years, provide coffee each week and pay a fortune for lessons, and he wants to cut him off. Is he BU?

Hmm. You shouldn’t have presumed it was less the £5. However, it costs nothing to be polite, and he should have just said sorry, no discount this time round as it wasn’t sustainable. Actually, what he should have done is communicated this when the new lockdown came into force, whether that be by group text or a blanket email. Hardly a load of his time taken up. He sounds like he’s good music teacher but poor at managing his business.

@ChocBeforeCock

I voted YANBU because although I sympathise with why he would charge full price, I think he could have answered you when you asked why discount no longer applied. I think it was rude of him to respond like that, and I’d feel awkward dealing with him going forward.

Yes, it does feel awkward. I guess he’s always like this though, perhaps it’s just made us (read my DH!) take stock.

Sorry I haven’t been able to reply to all the points but I do take them on board and glad at least some see it from our side too

@Roundtoedshoes

Hmm. You shouldn’t have presumed it was less the £5. However, it costs nothing to be polite, and he should have just said sorry, no discount this time round as it wasn’t sustainable. Actually, what he should have done is communicated this when the new lockdown came into force, whether that be by group text or a blanket email. Hardly a load of his time taken up. He sounds like he’s good music teacher but poor at managing his business.

Yes, this would have been better. Takes all sorts though. Maybe I am condescending. Probably.

@Jroseforever

Were you messaging or on the phone?

Email.

I’m a self employed instrumental teacher and would never be rude like that. What instruments do your DC play? I teach violin & piano and would love to zoom you if applicable 😊x

I think it’s fair he keeps his pricing. I think it’s a bit presumptuous to think it was the old price without checking

@Stopandlook

Thanks for all the comments, food for thought. My point is for 3 years we pay cash on the day, and then when we switch to paying online and it comes a day later, we are treated like criminals. It takes a bit of time to sit down and do it, and yes a day late but no more, and we are coldly spoken to! Our plumber wouldn’t treat us like that 🤷‍♀️

You definitely have a flair for the dramatic if you count a text reminder as 'being treated like a criminal' and a polite message using 'please' as aggressive. I'm honestly not sure that the music teacher is the one being socially awkward - you seem very quick to take offence!, and very quick to blame him for it.

Also you keep saying it's not about the money, and that you're generous but actually you're the one quibbling £2.50 a lesson and starting an online thread about 'being treated like a criminal' when your long-standing music teacher politely asks you to pay the standard price for the lessons he's delivering.

None of the info you've given really explains your perception as being the wounded party here

Yep. He was rude. I'd be finding a different teacher especially as his communication skills don't seem that great for a teacher.

@Coolieloach

I’m a self employed instrumental teacher and would never be rude like that. What instruments do your DC play? I teach violin & piano and would love to zoom you if applicable 😊x

Violin and piano funnily enough!

Veterinari

Um, I started an AIBU post? To see if I was being unreasonable?
I do beg your pardon for posting

Thanks for all the comments, food for thought. My point is for 3 years we pay cash on the day, and then when we switch to paying online and it comes a day later, we are treated like criminals. It takes a bit of time to sit down and do it, and yes a day late but no more, and we are coldly spoken to

Once you've got his payment details (which presumably you've got set up from the last lockdown) it takes about 30 seconds to pay someone via mobile banking.

You paid him late and you didn't give him the correct amount. No wonder he's pissed off. I'm self-employed and I HATE having to chase payment. It's embarrassing. If your boss didn't pay you on time I'm sure you'd be more than a little miffed. Even more so if they paid you the wrong amount on top!

Sounds like it would be a real pity to sack him for such a tiny thing, he's self employed and we're in a pandemic. People can be very unforgiving over minor errors these days - would be nicer if you could cut him some slack.

Also what would you tell your kids? How could you justify 'getting rid' of this person who's been in their life for three years without embellishing things to make yourself sound more reasonable? Because I don't think the truth would justify it in their view.

I agree with @ChocBeforeCock I think the way he responded was rude you where only asking a question to which he did not even reply. I think after someone has been teaching your kids for 3 years you usually do coffee etc that was rude regardless. It's totally your call whether you think it iads acceptable and are willing to forgive maybe one more chance? up to you but also maybe ask your kids if they would be okay with a new teacher as its for their benefit really. I also take on board how some people are saying he might be stressed r.e money but that's not your fault and kindness costs nothing he should just explain the prices. He probably doesn't have an explanation knows he's slightly in the wrong for charing the same as a face to face lesson and that's why he ignored the question.

You've hardly been treated like a criminal, he's just been quite short with you.

Technically you can't "sack" him, but you can discontinue to use his services if you're not happy with the arrangement. If you can find a music teacher who suits you better then great.
Also, I don't think paying on the day is "generous" it's just what people do. (Online banking is just a few clicks to make a payment, easier than going to the cash machine IMO)

I've had to find a new music teacher for my DD as the one she had struggled too much with online lessons. The one she has now charges full whack (£35ph) for online but no longer has to travel to peoples houses. She's not doing face to face at all.

You're lucky to find a teacher who is happy to do both. I suggest you give your DH the task of finding an excellent music teacher who is jolly and doesn't mind if you pay late.

I wouldn't decide whether to keep your music teacher based on anything to do with this recent interaction but objectively are they a good teacher/ do your kids want to continue learning (with this teacher)/ can you find a teacher you prefer with space for your children.

My son's teacher is excellent and valued by us. The zoom lessons have been the same price. I think some aspects are more difficult (such as paper based theory and aural training) but some aspects are better as in our case both teacher and pupil at a piano rather than swapping over for demonstrations. The pace can actually be quite intense on zoom.

Another thing to consider is what this teaches your kids about social equality, I mean this guy puts one foot wrong and you're able to remove his source of income with few qualms (at least on your DH's side). There's material generosity (like offering coffee) and then there's generosity of spirit (like not firing someone during a pandemic even if he's not got perfect social skills - as far as you can determine over text).

What about his message was aggressive?

Your behaviour and attitude are mortifying.

If he is a good teacher it would be wrong and a bit of an own goal to let him go for such a minor offence.
I would follow Edmund BlackAdder's advice and just 'pay the fellow and damn his impudence'

It takes you a bit of time to sit down and pay him? Well I'm self employed ans all my clients have me set up on their bank accounts and it's done it 2 seconds! What's the problem?

Transfer the £5. I would’ve assumed as it was in zoom again and the lessons were shorter they’d be a discount. I’d interpret the ‘please pay the £5’ as agressive and I’m thick skinned. Maybe other parents thought they’re getting the discount and he’s fed up of repeating himself.
Either way, get rid. I work in a school and there’s loads of music teachers about.

You don't make a successful business by being testy with customers. I would pay the £5 and continue with lessons but at the same time try out a new teacher. Then I would ask kids which teacher they thought was the best and move forward with that one. How much notice to you have to give the testy teacher? If he is self employed and files his self assessment tax form he would be entitled to get money from government for self employed. My BiL who is self employed gets it.

We've paid the full amount for our piano teacher thought lockdown and local restrictions. We've had about 2 face to face lessons since mid march....came out of lockdown and then it was local restrictions. They are not nearly as effective as face to face I don't think. But he's been with us for about 6 years now, so keep going with him. DD is sitting grade 3 in Dec and zoom lessons are no way adequate for sitting exams imo.... luckily I'm qualified pianist so can help her. Can't wait for face to face lessons to resume.

I would just pay the £5 OP.

I agree the quality of teaching is not the same for some things. My kids play piano and my grade 8 daughter is struggling on zoom in some elements. There are some things that both the teacher and my daughter agree cannot be taught/covered well by zoom. She can play her pieces but the perfecting them is a little harder. My grade 4 son also doesn’t think it’s as good as in person. I can hear her asking him to move the camera so she can see his pedals, or to play loudly even though the music doesn’t say so, so that she can hear him well. She charges half the normal charge. They also have singing lessons which seem better and I pay the normal rate.

I think I would be looking for a new teacher but it depends how much your children like him. If they think he’s ok, I would but if they like him I’d tend to suck it up. He clearly has quite an abrupt manner, but some people do, probably myself included.

Self-employed tutor here. What parents don't seem to realise is that online lessons take far longer to prepare than face to face lessons. We are suffering from fewer clients and clients that delay paying even though I only accept payment in advance). I have had to borrow money from my 20-year-old DS as I am up to the limit on my overdraft and credit cards. Pay the £5.