To sack the music teacher

[Stopandlook]

We have had a music teacher giving weekly private lessons to my two children. We found him through a local paper, and have had him for 3 years.
He’s a bit abrupt but I’ve just thought socially awkward, and the children get on fine with him.
In the first lockdown he charged £5 less total 2 classes as he wasn’t using travel time or petrol. Fair and fine because the quality of zoom teaching is less.
Since September we have had one lockdown lesson on Zoom as dd was self isolating. He said that was the full price - fair enough as it was only us.
We are obviously back on Zoom now and paying by bank transfer. He messaged us the day after the lesson asking for the payment as it was due on the day of the lesson. We then paid the £5 less again. He messaged us to say thank you but it is the incorrect amount and should be £5 more. No explanation.
When I questioned it he just said quite aggressively ‘Please pay the £5’
Previously we have always paid in full, on the day of the lesson, for 3 years.
DH thinks he is an arsehole for being so aggressive to people who have welcomed him into our home for 3 years, provide coffee each week and pay a fortune for lessons, and he wants to cut him off. Is he BU?

He's a good teacher and your children enjoy their lessons.

You describe yourself as 'generous' yet you're quibbling over £5 that you've previously been content to pay, and are making massive assumptions about the financial status of a self employed person trying to work through lockdown.

He may be a bit socially awkward, but you aren't coming out as particularly sensitive yourself...

I am a music teacher and my fees have been the same on Zoom throughout. I think I have achieved MORE with my students, because there is less general chit chat, less time wasted (eg when they walk into my room, it's coat off, music out, instrument out, pencil ready etc and then all that in reverse at the end). it is absolutely AWFUL and embarrassing to have to quibble with parents about money. You should have paid the £5 and not pushed back. I'm not surprised he was abrupt.
I had a parent recently whose child missed two remote lessons, giving me about 30 mins notice in each case. She made a hideous fuss about paying. So now the contract is very clearly worded and she pays in advance.
My usual question is - would you do this to a plumber? Music teachers have spent years training (to degree level and beyond) and honing their craft, and continue to do so. Don't treat us like the hired help.

Meh, he can charge what he wants and you can decide if he’s worth it.

I personally have found that good music teachers can do an equally good job over zoom (although I accept this may depend on instrument and proficiency level) so am happy to continue paying normal prices. If you don’t think that’s the case for you, find a cheaper teacher.

But be aware that a new one might not be as good or develop as good a rapport with your child - or might be better, it’s a gamble. Honestly though, to decide on the basis of communication over payment seems to be focussing on entirely the wrong factors!

Also you can't sack a self employed contractor @Stopandlook
You can only terminate the agreement, that isn't sacking as it's a mutual relationship.

You do seem to be projecting an air of superiority/generous benefactor rather than recognising you're paying a self employed consultant for their expertise.

Were you messaging or on the phone?

You can get rid of him or not either way it doesn't make you U, just say it's no longer working and get rid.

As someone who used to do a lot of private tuition, it’s really annoying having to chase payment. You say you always pay on time, but in your OP you said he had to chase you the day after for payment.

You won't be his only customer, and he is probably fed up to the back teeth of trying to get people to pay him, which would account for the somewhat terse message.

If he's a good teacher and the dc like him, then pay the man.

* When I questioned it he just said quite aggressively ‘Please pay the £5’*

So was that his message? Or was it more aggressive? Or have you interpreted it as being aggressive?!

All the self employed I know have changed their contracts that it's full price whether in person or via zoom.

How is asking 'please pay £5' over text aggressive?
It seems fairly polite to me

How did you interpret his tone?

I don't like the sound of someone being so abrupt. I understand it's probably just his way and he isn't being intentionally rude, but it is rude nonetheless.

It's a shame but hopefully there are other music teachers out there who are very good and a bit more personable.

I had a very abrupt, no nonsense (quite unpleasant) music teacher growing up. Could it be the same guy

I’ve paid full price for my zoom lessons but I agree the quality isn’t the same. That’s just a fact of life. The teacher can’t easily point to the music, demonstrate a piece or even hear that well as the quality of the piano (in my case) sounds really tinny.

He doesn’t sound very nice but if your kids like him and they’ve made good progress I’d be wary of cutting off your nose to spite your face.

@Stopandlook

No, it’s not that he’s poor. He’s not. He’s just rude and aggressive. Do we put up with it or move on?

DH and I are generous people who always pay on time.

How is it "generous" to pay for a service you have received? And paying on time should be a given.

You do seem to be projecting an air of superiority/generous benefactor rather than recognising you're paying a self employed consultant for their expertise.

Agreed.

@Stopandlook

No, it’s not that he’s poor. He’s not. He’s just rude and aggressive. Do we put up with it or move on?

DH and I are generous people who always pay on time.

That's funny, because in your OP you said:

He messaged us the day after the lesson asking for the payment as it was due on the day of the lesson.

So which is it, you paid the day after (and thus not on time) or you paid on time? I'd class paying on time as a basic expectation of being a decent client btw, nothing to be patting yourself on the back over.

My music teacher charged £5 less due to doing zoom classes and no coming to me. TBH I would still pay her the full amount if she asked as she is an amazing teacher.

Did you assume the discount again just because it's another lockdown without clarifying beforehand? That seems rude to me

I don't read his message as aggressive, but we don't have context of other messages or your messages. He could be fed up with parents assuming the discount was open ended rather than just for the first lockdown!

Thanks for all the comments, food for thought. My point is for 3 years we pay cash on the day, and then when we switch to paying online and it comes a day later, we are treated like criminals. It takes a bit of time to sit down and do it, and yes a day late but no more, and we are coldly spoken to!
Our plumber wouldn’t treat us like that 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn’t give him teacher of the week for that message, but if your kids like him and he’s doing a good job I certainly wouldnt cut him loose after 3 years just for an abrupt text when, as you said, he’s always been socially awkward.

@TORDEVAN

Did you assume the discount again just because it's another lockdown without clarifying beforehand? That seems rude to me

I don't read his message as aggressive, but we don't have context of other messages or your messages. He could be fed up with parents assuming the discount was open ended rather than just for the first lockdown!

Yes, did assume (or rather my DH did). Agree we should have checked but really it’s only £2.50 per lesson less as we have two back to back. It’s not about the money as I’ve said before, we’ve paid the difference, it’s just being made to feel awful after 3 years aquaintance. Anyway, I do take on board all comments for and against.

Obviously you’ve been using up to now for doing a competent, not his warm and cuddly nature. I’d just laugh it off - his abrupt/prickly manner has probably cost him a lot more than it has you. Maybe he’s had a tough life/childhood, hence poor social skills.

You weren't being treated like criminals! He just asked for the payment.

Self-employed people are often treated terribly by clients, and don't get paid on time, or sometimes at all, so they have to be quite firm at times.

I dislike those who treat me like they are doing me a favour by hiring me. They are choosing to enter into an agreement, and the terms are clear at the start, including notice periods and what happens with missed lessons. It is amazing the number of people who find reasons to ignore the agreement when they need to.

You might find that another teacher doesn't want to work with you either if you treat them in a condescending way.

Also, zoom lessons are a million times more tiring, and require a load more work, than in person lessons, so really, teachers would be well within rights to want to charge more! You are lucky that they are keeping the same price, really.

I voted YANBU because although I sympathise with why he would charge full price, I think he could have answered you when you asked why discount no longer applied. I think it was rude of him to respond like that, and I’d feel awkward dealing with him going forward.

@Stopandlook

Thanks for all the comments, food for thought. My point is for 3 years we pay cash on the day, and then when we switch to paying online and it comes a day later, we are treated like criminals. It takes a bit of time to sit down and do it, and yes a day late but no more, and we are coldly spoken to! Our plumber wouldn’t treat us like that 🤷‍♀️

How is saying 'please pay £5' treating you like criminals?? I think you are over reacting slightly. If your children are happy with the lessons, making progress and don't have any issues then I would continue the lessons, ask him to clarify the pricing structure and agree when you are going to pay him (day of or day after. My OH used to be self employed and waiting for payments was the bane of his life)