To ask what was your 'sliding doors' moment?

[Fairyicecream]

For those that haven't seen the film Sliding Doors, it basically showed how different her life turned out if she caught the train/didn't catch the train.

What was one decision, one moment that could have changed your whole life?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. A few years ago my marriage went through a bad patch (understatement to say the least). DH talked about leaving. It was the worst time of my life and I honestly don't know how I got through it.

Anyway, i often wonder, what if I had just told him to go? We would now all be living separately and we and our beautiful DC would have a completely different life.

Instead, we are all now happier than we have ever been. But it could have all been so different with that one decision...

Had two job offers just a couple of years out of uni - really interesting role from a lovely potential boss at a quirky little internet company, but it was much lower paid and less prestigious than the big grad scheme. I was not confident in my own choices and thought I should trust the herd and go with the big one, especially as I knew I wanted kids young and it was very stable.

That former boss retired at 40 on the proceeds of his shareholdings in the company.

Lots of good things have happened to me since, too, but I'm also a single mum and don't love my job and always wonder a bit what would have happened if I'd said yes when the first recruiter called.

DH and I met because I couldn’t get into the nightclub I’d been going to every week for 4 years because they suddenly decided I looked too young (was mid 20s) and me and a mate picked another club at random that we never went to instead.

My second marriage moved me to a different county. It ended badly, with DV involved. However if we hadn’t moved, 2 of my children would not have met their fabulous partners, another would not have ended up in the job that he loves so much, and I wouldn’t have my beautiful daughter. It was painful, but still meant to be I think.

If I hadn’t gone to the Army recruitment office on that particular day then I wouldn’t have shipped to boot camp on the day that I did. Which is where I met DH. I can safely say that boot camp had us looking our absolutely WORST, but I still thought he was the most attractive guy I’d ever seen

I used to commute to a station in London that was bombed on 7/7 2005. On that day I had taken a sneaky day off to go for an interview for a job in another city. I remember sitting in a pub after my interview watching the news reports on a big screen. Horrifying.

Sad one for me. I stopped myself from forcibly making my dad a doctors appointment because he said I was being silly and I thought i was making him angry. He ended up dying of a blood clot a couple of weeks later. Had I made that call and made him go to the doctor he would well have been saved.

I kick myself about it almost every single day. I miss him so much and blame myself.

But at the same time, I now have my gorgeous dog (bought only in grief of losing my dad) and my amazing son (born through IVF I used my inheritance for) so some beautiful things came out of something so tragic

But I do always wonder where that one decision to stop myself from calling the doctor to make an appointment for him took me.

I worked in a clothes shop straight after university so I could do an unpaid internship for a charity. Three years later, no paid position was forthcoming, and whist I loved what I was doing, I was working 7 days a week and only being paid minimum wage for 4 of them. I was burnt out and no extra money. I handed in my notice to both, and arranged to go back to live with my parents whilst I sorted what to do. On my last day at the retail job, I suddenly felt the need to stay, and my manager was very happy and offered me deputy manager. A couple of weeks later I hired a new member of staff, who’s best friend has been my soul mate for the past 18y. I doubt we would have met if I had left London.

I've had quite a few of these but one that blew my mind recently! I had to visit a hospital for a planning appointment at the beginning of Lockdown 1. It was a hospital I didn't know, miles away from where I live. It was vast and empty because of Covid. I was asked to go to another department for a test while I was there but told that if that wasn't convenient I could have the same test done at my local hospital. I couldn't find this department nor anybody to ask to direct me and I decided to just drop into my hospital on the way home.

I got lost trying to find my way back to the car park and walked out of a door to find myself in front of the entrance of the department I couldn't find earlier. While there, I met a man who blew my mind the minute I set eyes on him. Same for him. We are in daily contact but Covid has made pursuing things difficult but I hope we will a bit further down the line. I've been single for many years following an awful divorce and didn't think anything like that would happen to me again, but here we are

I have 3 sliding moments. And the long post I just typed has just zapped itself so I guess I have my answer. Never look back.

My mum, dad and brother went out for the day, I was fed up so went out to meet my friends and caught the 6.45 bus instead of 7.15 . My dad collapsed and died outside the house at 7pm.
This was pre mobiles and they couldn’t get hold of me, I arrived home at 11.15 pm and was told the news.
I never got to say goodbye. That was 37 years ago and I’m still sad about it .

@CheetasOnFajitas my dad’s office was round the corner from Russel square. He had decided to go to work early that day, but normally didn’t get in until 9. I worked in Piccadilly Circus at the time, and remember frantically trying to call him. Horrible hour, until I was able to speak to my mum at about 10 as he had sent her an email to say he was ok. His sliding door moment. London was equally frightening and the most amazing place that day. Felt like the whole capital was walking home that evening in a show of solidarity.

I was a teenager and had been married a week, exactly 1 week. Obviously everyone said I was too young so when I found out that my husband of 7 days had been sleeping with someone else and according to her she was pregnant (he said she wasn't but who knows as she disappeared and I never heard from her again) I was devastated but too proud to admit my mistake. Fourteen year and 2 children later I kicked him out.

I should have gone home, gone back to school, had a different life but then I wouldn't have those children so not sure if I did the right thing or not.

Someone I know has an amazing story. Her father woke up late one morning and missed his daily ferry ride back home in the Philippines.

The ferry he would have caught as he been on time sank that day killing all souls on board.

I lived in London and was online dating on a site which let you say what distance you were willing to meet people from. I'd entered 10 miles. Someone living in the Midlands contacted me. I almost didn't bother replying, but sent him a cheeky message about his geography. After exchanging messages for 3 months (while both going on dates with different people) we decided to meet up for lunch. We're married with a DD and have been together for 15 years. Who knows what our lives would have been if I'd ignored his message.

Many, many years ago I was job hunting. I was temping while looking

Where I was telling offered me a job but I already had a job interview lined up, so I asked to think about it and went for the other job interview. I was offered the job and decided to take it

Turned about to be fabulous because they offered additional training, got promoted and head to a much better career than I would ever have had if I took the first offer.

Years later, out of curiosity, I asked the manager who had hired me why they chose me. She says it was tough competition between myself and another person - it was the skirt I wore that day that clinched it. She liked my skirt! It all boiled down to that - which was a last minute change because my cat got sick on the clothes I laid out in my bed before going to shower that morning.

I met someone when I was 18 and just about to head off to university

I never did go to that particular university and ended up moving in with the guy. He was an abusive arsehole and after 3 years together and lots of coercive control he got physical and head butted me.
I packed a case and moved back to my parents. I never got any of my remaining stuff back and as it happens I then went to university and am now a senior nurse (he didn’t want me to go in case I met someone else )

I often wonder what my life would have turned out like had I 1) gone to university first or 2) stayed in that relationship.....shudder!!

My sliding doors moment has had long term impacts and it still weighs heavy on me 20yrs later:

I was in a well known youth organisation and was paid up and packed ready for our annual summer camp. The highlight of my year and the best years of my life....

The day before we were due to go, my parents told me I wasn’t going as we were going on an impromptu vacation.

My friends, and other young members at the camp were involved in an RTC that claimed 3 of my friends lives and left one friend with a life changing head injury.

I missed their funerals, I didn’t get any support to cope with my grief which led to me completely screwing up my a-levels. I went to university through clearing - at the insistence of my parents, to study for a degree in an area so inappropriate to my natural skill set.

One good thing to come out of it, 20 years later I have finally found peace and love with the man of my dreams who I’d never had met if I hadn’t studied my degree, met my partner at uni, moved to his location and found a job in the company my now partner worked at.

On the flip, I have no doubt I would have pursued my dream job had tragedy not struck or I had the support I so desperately needed.

I am still very affected by what happened.

@thetaleunfolds

Sad one for me. I stopped myself from forcibly making my dad a doctors appointment because he said I was being silly and I thought i was making him angry. He ended up dying of a blood clot a couple of weeks later. Had I made that call and made him go to the doctor he would well have been saved.

I kick myself about it almost every single day. I miss him so much and blame myself.

But at the same time, I now have my gorgeous dog (bought only in grief of losing my dad) and my amazing son (born through IVF I used my inheritance for) so some beautiful things came out of something so tragic

But I do always wonder where that one decision to stop myself from calling the doctor to make an appointment for him took me.

I feel the same about my mum. Long story short I w as going to call her on a Monday evening after a weekend away ...train got delayed so got home late . Called her on the Tuesday ..no reply .Got a call in the afternoon from paramedics saying my lovely mum had died ..if only I had called her that Monday evening 😢

• should read that had I been on the trip (not tragedy not striking) I believe I would have pursued my dream career!!! I have quite bad survivors guilt.

It's grim how many of these are about "meeting DH". This could be from the 50's. Have you nothing more significant happening in your lives? It's genuinely embarrassing.

@ScissorsBike

It's grim how many of these are about "meeting DH". This could be from the 50's. Have you nothing more significant happening in your lives? It's genuinely embarrassing.

That's a really unpleasant comment!

[quote ProfessorofCunning]@CheetasOnFajitas my dad’s office was round the corner from Russel square. He had decided to go to work early that day, but normally didn’t get in until 9. I worked in Piccadilly Circus at the time, and remember frantically trying to call him. Horrible hour, until I was able to speak to my mum at about 10 as he had sent her an email to say he was ok. His sliding door moment. London was equally frightening and the most amazing place that day. Felt like the whole capital was walking home that evening in a show of solidarity.[/quote]
It really did, I was there too. Never forgotten.

My ‘what if I hadn’t..’ moment is what if I hadn’t responded to now DP (soon to be DH’s) message on a dating site.
Back story: he’d ‘liked’ me on the dating site 7 months earlier, and we’d exchanged messages and set up a date.
2 days before the date, I texted him to ask what time/where to meet.
He then sent a very apologetic message, saying he’d had a few dates with someone else and that they’d decided to go exclusive.
Don’t know why, but I was really upset, tears and everything!

Cue 7 months later, I’d been in an awful short term relationship with someone else, who then dumped me, and was feeling shit, but signed back up to the dating site.

Original guy then messaged me out of the blue, saying the other relationship had ended, and he totally understood if I didn’t want to, but asked me out again.
I was sort of in two minds, but thought what the hell, I may aswell.
I actually told my mum beforehand that if this date didn’t work out, I was going to give up dating, as I was exhausted by it all.

Anyway, the date was the best ever, love at first sight for both of us (turns out that he’d somehow lost my number from first time around, so he rejoined the dating site with the sole intention of finding me again), and we’re getting married next year!

Conceived dc2 after leaving a nightshift with infected wisdom tooth. If it hadn't have been so painful dc2 would not be here. We dtd for distraction therapy on top of a load of painkillers 😂

@ScissorsBike

It's grim how many of these are about "meeting DH". This could be from the 50's. Have you nothing more significant happening in your lives? It's genuinely embarrassing.

Personally, meeting my husband is the single most important thing that has ever happened to me. It has shaped my life and mental health in a way that getting a new career or hobby never could have done. And I know because I had all these things for a long time before I met him. It also led to the birth of my son and a whole new identity as a Mum.

So I’d say that while other things are of course going on in my life, there is nothing more significant than my relationship with my husband.