To ask what was your 'sliding doors' moment?

[Fairyicecream]

For those that haven't seen the film Sliding Doors, it basically showed how different her life turned out if she caught the train/didn't catch the train.

What was one decision, one moment that could have changed your whole life?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. A few years ago my marriage went through a bad patch (understatement to say the least). DH talked about leaving. It was the worst time of my life and I honestly don't know how I got through it.

Anyway, i often wonder, what if I had just told him to go? We would now all be living separately and we and our beautiful DC would have a completely different life.

Instead, we are all now happier than we have ever been. But it could have all been so different with that one decision...

I broke my leg walking home from work one night and was subsequently signed off work for 2 weeks. DF suggested we catch up at the buildings ground floor bar when she finished shift (we worked on the top floor bar) My now DP was the bartender who served us and snuck us hot chocolates. If I hadn’t broken my leg I would never had gone to that bar or even spoken to him despite working in the same building for almost a year. Without meeting him I would never have stayed in the city we live in, met my closest friends and discovered my career path.

Funnily enough we later discovered we had been in the same group interview and didn’t notice each other!

When I was applying for uni 40 years ago I wanted to do pharmacy. It was full in a paper form and post it off back then, and at my local uni the Faculty of Medicine was responsible for both medicine and pharmacy courses, and the form was the same, you just ticked which course you were applying for.

So I filled it in, ticked pharmacy, put it back in the envelope, but before I sealed it took it back out and also ticked medicine on a whim. Hadn’t ever occurred to me to do medicine before. Was offered both, chose medicine and that set my life’s course.

Made lifelong friends at uni, met DH at work. I often think about what my life might have been like if I’d ignored that momentary whim and sealed the envelope.

In my third year at uni, at Christmas me and my family were supposed to travel across the country to stay with relatives. My DF had the flu so just me and DM went. Because it was just me and DM I stayed in the same room as her. Over the course of the evening I became more and more uncomfortable - sitting on a bean bag I assumed I'd got pins and needles in my jointsfrom awkward sitting. Overnight in the room with my DM I was up and down, my arms and legs felt bruised, I got up and took painkillers. Didn't sleep. When we got up in the morning my DM was worried, we thought I must have what my DF had; we didn't want to give it to the relatives, so we headed home on the motorway. By the time we got home I was very ill, and a few hours later I was admitted to hospital with meningitis.

I honestly believe if I hadn't had to share a room with my DM she wouldn't have had any idea how ill I was.

@AnotherEmma

This is a bit outing but here goes... I studied languages at uni and had planned to split my year abroad between two countries, but changed my mind quite late, and ended up making rather last minute plans - I got an exchange placement completely by chance, in a city I knew nothing about. And that's where I met the man who is now DH and the father of my children. I also loved the city and had a great time there in general, not just because of meeting DH. There were so many other possibilities for my year abroad and it wasn't even something I'd researched and applied for, it just kind of landed in my lap - and thank goodness it did!

That’s really not outing at all!

If if not have been job hunting after walking out of a job I’d have never randomly started on the career I did and met husband.

I was due to start my nurse training in March 1994 but a spot came up in September 1993 when I started. I met my Husband through one of the friends I made. I wouldn’t have met either if I’d started six months later.

After I graduated, I was offered an MSc place at 2 universities. I’d been to both for interviews. At place A it had been sunny and at place B it had been rainy. 8 months later, i chose place A because it had better weather in my experience! From that MSc I did a dissertation has led to a 20+ year career, and a conference where I met the man who became DH.

Deciding to move here to be with OH.

Two very,very different paths.

The job I took after university impacted my whole life enormously. I often wonder where I would be now if I hadn't taken that job.

I've had a few. Most notably if I'd gone out with friends (I was invited) instead of waiting in for a man who was late I'd have avoided an abusive relationship and a lot of misery. I should have seen that being late that early on in the relationship was a bad omen. But on the other hand a lot of that situation made me who I am. It gave me DS1 and an experience of the darker side of life which in turn has affected how I live. I'm pretty content with the simple things in life having known a time where I was (by official definition) destitute and had so little freedom I couldn't even eat what I wanted or sleep if I was tired. I think my horizons would have been much narrower if I'd had the perfect university- career-nice man and marriage type route through life as everyone expected when I was growing up.

Just wanted to say great thread!

Watching that film gave me some sort of mental issue! Almost every day I think to myself something like, I wonder if I set off now instead of in 20 seconds time whether I'll have a car accident etc. I kind of wish I never had watched the film!

I spoke to someone in a shop that I worked in. He was a regular customer and I kind of knew him but not very well. He didn’t say anything out of the ordinary and gave me no indication that anything was wrong but I had a bad feeling so went to find him. He was attempting suicide. I called an ambulance and he was given the help that he needed. He survived and years later we are still in contact, he’s happy and healthy. He has a family and a job that he loves. Years later I decided to train as a nurse. Both of our lives could have been very different. We are now friends.

Very outing but oh well , when I was 15 we had to do a fortnights work experience I was in a very boring travel agents where I was just shredding old travel brochures all day. I met up with my friend at lunchtime who said she was in a crazy office , kids running riot and the place was disorganised ,I thought this sounded much more fun. So we arranged to swap. Me & the boss's son became good friends and years later slept together. Which resulted in my wonderful son , obviously having a child at barely 19 changed my life plans completely. All from a work experience swap !

If the train hadn’t been held up at the station due to fog I wouldn’t have got bored waiting and jumped out at an earlier stop to my usual one. Rather than grabbing a cab, which I would normally have done, I instead wandered into the city centre. That’s where I bumped into an old school friend (who had also gone there on a whim). We arranged to go for a meal and within 18 months were married.

Years later, when we were living abroad, I’d just had our first dc. I was still on maternity leave when I was pressurised by my employer to help out on a short project that I wouldn’t normally have been involved with. It caught the attention of some people from a large organisation and set in train a series of events that enabled me to leave the job that I no longer enjoyed and become self-employed doing something I really loved. It also meant I could wfh as our other dc arrived. I remember coming so close to saying no to doing the project and the people who noticed it were only in town for a single day, so the moment could easily have slipped away and life would have taken a different path without me ever knowing it.

@minipie I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. The "what if" you think about must be painful for you

@twoshineyshoesahhaeyetoeye

I am forever thankful that I agreed to let my 16 year old son revise at home for his exams rather than go into school to revise with the class. He said he would get more quality revision done at home as the lessons were too general. The exam was only days away and I had to make sure he choose well, against my better judgement I said I trusted him to make the decision and he could stay at home and revise. I had no medical conditions but out of the blue an hour later I collapsed and had a grand mal seizure and stopped breathing. He was an athlete and knew first aid through that. He gave me mouth to mouth resuscitation, called the ambulance and basically saved my life. I was put into an induced coma and was very ill for a while. If I would have made him go into school, I would be dead as it would have been another 6 hours before someone came home and found me. Always makes me shiver to think what could have been. I am Incredibly proud of him.

It's a bit scary to think about isn't it. I'm glad you're okay too.

@minipie that should read

I liked my job but was given an interview somewhere new, it seemed like a good place but was so torn between leaving the people and the job I liked for an unknown. It was a 50/50 toss of the dice decision. I decided to go for it and turns out my new company has been a great opportunity. Had I stayed at my old job, I'd have lost it as they went into administration a few years later.

I missed out on my uni place by one grade (mainly thanks to messing around too much during A-Levels, spending too much time with my boyfriend at the time).

On results day I still wanted to go to uni, so I looked at the places that had availability in clearing and looked up the rankings of them all in the league tables. Out of the top two, one was ranked higher and I had been to that city before and quite liked it so on paper I should have gone there. I had never been to the city of the uni that was ranked 2nd and it was obviously lower ranked but I decided to go there anyway as I would be closer to my (then) boyfriend's uni. Took the place without ever having visited.

Met my now DH and 15 years later we still live in the same city, we have one DD and I'm pregnant with another. I often wonder how my life would have turned out if I'd picked the higher ranked uni, would I still be with my ex-boyfriend? Probably not. But I wouldn't have met my DH I don't think as he has still never been to that city and I wouldn't have had any particular reason to come here.

I left a lovely job, went to work in a Jovi ended up gating but I got help with my depression. Then I went to work in the same civil service department I'd started in 9 years previously. Had a ONS, beautiful DD. Now in a job I bloody love with 2 of my most favourite people in the world.
If I hadn't left the first job I had I'd been dead. Simple really.
Even though I hated the 2nd job I got help.

At 18, I was offered a job as a trainee solicitor on an apprentice wage, and I turned it down to take a better paying admin job for the local council (where I met my first husband). I have a different career now which I love, but it took a while, and I still kick myself at how short sighted I was back then.

I met my husband when I killed him in an online game and he sent a message to thank me for fighting fair. I usually ignored messages from people I didn’t already know, but something made me reply to this one. We became friends and started playing the game together, he thought I was a man for a while (I preferred people to think that, less online harassment!} and after a year or so we met up and just clicked.

If I hadn't indulged my finicky picky child whilst in wagamama choosing their lunch on an inset day, and then delayed on an emergency wee, we'd have been caught up with the London Bridge tragedy in 2019...... So grateful for their picky ways. We were metres and less than two minutes from being on London Bridge. It doesn't bear thinking about.

Mine was a spilt second decision!

Left an abusive relationship and moved back home with my parents. I stayed for a few months while I got myself together, then started looking for properties nearby. I’d viewed a little 1 bedroom flat and found it perfect in every way. It was close to work, close to my parents, nice big bedroom. I was meeting with the agent that morning to sign the lease and pick up the keys when I get a phone call. It’s a random guy I’d emailed weeks before who had a flat he needed to let in a rush. It was a studio, not as nice as the 1 bed, smaller, not an ideal location. The man needed to let it in a rush as he was moving abroad for 3 years for work. To this day I don’t really know why, but I told him I’d take it and he came to my parents within in the hour so I could sign a lease and give me the keys. He didn’t even check my background or finances or anything, just trusted I was telling the truth. It’s just so weird how quickly it happened.

Taking that studio was the best decision I ever made. Didn’t know at the time but my now dh was my next door neighbour. We started chatting when the fire alarm went off and we were all evacuated. 10 years and 3 dc later, we’re still as strong as ever. We never would’ve met if I hadn’t taken that flat!

We’re also still really good friends with the man I rented the flat from. He lives round the corner from us and we see them all the time and our dc are good friends. We holiday with them every year.

Literally, my whole life would be different had I taken that original flat.

My neighbour at the time knocked on my door one day and asked if I wanted to buy his mobile phone as he had just got a new one, I said no, I had never had one at that time and had no clue how to use one etc. Ended up changing my mind and bought it, I got a wrong number call later that night from a guy, We ended up getting together and stayed together for 16 years.

More recently (before covid) I like a certain celebrity and have done for about 20 odd years, my mum got tickets to go and watch his show being filmed as a suprise and only told me the night before. I had a terrible weekin general where everything went wrong, I had no money as I had to replace my washing machine, I was miserable and didn't want to go.

Mum talked me into going and I ended up meeting the celebrity, he bought me a coffee and we had a chat for about an hour after the show and he started following me on twitter. Don't want to name him as it would be quite outing, I'm the only non celeb that he follows so I kind of stick out like a sore thumb.

I set up my OLD app to show only people located within 5 miles and only checked it once in a blue moon. I swiped on someone and he swiped back an hour later got talking and the rest is history.

To this day it blows our minds that I was only able to see him in the app as he drove past my workplace on his way to a one off meeting in my city at the time I was checking the app. Had I checked 5 minutes earlier or later we would have never met.