Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what was your 'sliding doors' moment?

455 replies

Fairyicecream · 16/11/2020 19:41

For those that haven't seen the film Sliding Doors, it basically showed how different her life turned out if she caught the train/didn't catch the train.

What was one decision, one moment that could have changed your whole life?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. A few years ago my marriage went through a bad patch (understatement to say the least). DH talked about leaving. It was the worst time of my life and I honestly don't know how I got through it.

Anyway, i often wonder, what if I had just told him to go? We would now all be living separately and we and our beautiful DC would have a completely different life.

Instead, we are all now happier than we have ever been. But it could have all been so different with that one decision...

OP posts:
CupoTeap · 21/11/2020 05:26

FYI this is in the DM today if anyone wants to name change

SpillingTheTea · 21/11/2020 05:36

@CupoTeap

FYI this is in the DM today if anyone wants to name change
I just saw this. DM really are a piece of shit.
Plantlover101 · 21/11/2020 05:44

All names and dates changed*
Male pal getting married, lives in another city, calls me.
Him: "Hiya Scotty, you coming to my wedding?" (He's never called me by my first name).
Me: "Jim, I would love to but I live 200 miles away and I'm skint. I'll send a present."
Him: "I think you ought to make the effort Scotty."
Looooong, awkward silence
(Sliding Doors moment)
Me: "Erm..... look I will see what I can do and try and scrape some cash together."
At the wedding I met his friend, got engaged and moved across the country to move in with him.
Then my sister went through a horrible break up. My fiance had a nice single friend and about 10 months later she visited me and I introduced them.
They got married and had kids. Her friend visited and met HIS friend and they kids. Then after visiting a few times and deciding they liked the new town, our whole family decamped across the country to join us and the single ones all met locals and got married, and more kids were born.

So many marriages and babies born because of that one conversation, which never would have happened had my pal not insisted I go to his wedding.

It didn't work out for me with my ex-fiance but I will forever be grateful to him because without him I wouldn't have my beautiful nephews nieces, step and great nephews/ nieces etc. Also, the friend on the phone, Jim, is now divorced.

Thinking back to that conversation, the enormity of it makes my head spin and I sometimes get a bit tearful thinking about it!

mrsnec · 21/11/2020 06:11

When I was 18/19 I met a bloke in a nightclub who was way out of my league in terms of looks. He was 6ft5" looked like a model and was a complete charmer and I fell head over heels for him. We'll call him Tom.

Started a relationship with him and it was my first real sexual relationship. We both lived rurally and with our parents who both lived in tiny houses so we had the dilemma about where our encounters could take place. We tried the car but ended up at a local dogging spot and got stopped by the police. When questioned, I couldn't remember Tom's surname so after that we'd go to budget hotels. It got to the point where this is all we did so no actual dating and we wouldn't even go for a drink first or even stay for breakfast in the morning. It didn't feel right and I understood it wasn't a healthy relationship for a girl of my age.

One weekend my parents went away for a night. My friend suggested I had a party. I didn't know many people in the area and let my friend take over the guest list. Tom refused to come saying he wanted me to himself. He changed his number and I never saw him or spoke to him again.

My friend and her mates came over. The party is still spoken about today. My house was trashed and my parents still don't allow anyone in their house unsupervised and haven't really forgiven me for it.

My friend moved to the same village as Tom. Asked around and nobody knew him, he's not on social media and 20 odd years later I still think about him and wonder what would have happened if I hadn't decided to have that party!

Avelandra · 21/11/2020 06:29

I was in a horrible relationship. Abusive, controlling etc just horrible in every way. One day my ex messaged me, and he was basically the one I had always loved and was the one who got away. He messaged to say he missed me and could we give it another try. He wasn’t aware I was in a relationship so nothing untoward going on. I don’t know how but it finally made me have the strength to leave. I ended my relationship the next day and started to date my ex again soon after. We’ve now been together 6 years. I often wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t messaged me that day

LightSwitchedOn · 21/11/2020 07:07

Mine are pretty outing but here goes.

Aged 25 broke up with long term boyfriend. Was really sad, friend took me away for the weekend. Met DH that weekend. I rarely visited that city and DH had just moved there from the other side of the world.

Years later I was in my home town sorting out family stuff and work so I could return to Oz to DH. Was really struggling while pregnant with our second. Ds and i were missing him lots. We took a flight a week early. The flight we planned to travel on is the Malaysian Airlines flight shot down around 6 years ago. I was up with jetlag a week later when the news came through. Was a very surreal experience watching the footage and news reports knowing I'd had a quote for that flight

BikeRunSki · 21/11/2020 07:29

I think the thing in the film, is that she died by make any decisions. In one version, she goes to work as normal; in the other she is sacked, leaves the office , and misses the tube because of the child in front of her.

Correct me if I’m wrong in detail, it’s been years since I saw the film, but the key moment is not Gwynnie’s decision.

Jroseforever · 21/11/2020 07:31

I’m probably being thick but wasn’t it really you DH’s sliding door moment OP?

CupoTeap · 21/11/2020 07:36

@BikeRunSki

I think the thing in the film, is that she died by make any decisions. In one version, she goes to work as normal; in the other she is sacked, leaves the office , and misses the tube because of the child in front of her.

Correct me if I’m wrong in detail, it’s been years since I saw the film, but the key moment is not Gwynnie’s decision.

It was the missing of the tube but in one version she accepts the doors are closing, in the other she pulls the door and makes it in.
Piglet89 · 21/11/2020 07:37

It’s not really sliding doors; but it is fate.

I was on Guardian soulmates and this bloke liked my profile. Looked at his profile and thought he looked nice. But thought - why didn’t you even bother messaging me if you liked me that much! Ignored and thought nothing more of it.

Then several months later a mutual friend who was living in Scotland went to a wedding at which this bloke was the MC (responsible for herding everyone around, making a speech Etc). She sat at his table at the wedding. She thought “Piglet and this bloke are so alike; I will set them up. They’ll either love or hate eachother”.

And she did set us up (we both lived in London). It was Guardian Soulmates bloke. 9 years later, we are happily married with a child.

BikeRunSki · 21/11/2020 11:00

A yes CupoTeap, you’re right. So she did intervene in her fate.
I’m going to watch this again tonight!!

YreneTowers · 21/11/2020 11:12

DH and I were buying our first house, and we put an offer in on a house within walking distance of my workplace. The house owners asked if they could have a few days to think it over.

Later the same day, we drove through a village about five miles away, liked the look of it so parked up and went into the local estate agent to see what they had.

We looked at one house in the village - the owners were desperate to sell as their buyers had pulled out and the chain they were in was about to collapse.

We loved it and put an offer in, which after some negotiating was accepted, so we withdrew the offer on the other house.

We have been here 20 years, made lots of friends locally, had two children and I got a job in the infant school my children went to.

If the offer we'd made on the first house had been accepted, we'd have different friends, our children would have gone to different schools, I may not have given up my job when pregnant as it would have been easier to get to and I wouldn't be working in the school I'm at now.

Iwillneverbesatisfied · 21/11/2020 12:32

Just come onto this thread a bit late to say this is my favourite romcom

BitOfFun · 21/11/2020 13:28

Having re-watched the film due to this thread, what strikes me is that for either Gwynnie, the eventual outcomes are the same. So maybe we are just destined for whatever our lives become?

Littleideasbigbook · 21/11/2020 13:58

My sliding doors moment was definitely a life and death thing.

I was 23, single and pregnant and about 6/7 weeks, had horrendous anorexia and a substance addiction, really chaotic life. I booked in for a termination and went to the appointment with my Mum. As we walked in a girl collapsed in the reception area, she had already had the procedure and I instinctively went over to help her up there was a bloom of blood on her grey marl jogging bottoms. I looked at that splodge of blood and I literally felt my brain shift. I think it was primal fear. I didn't got through with the termination, got clean (and fat haha), got 3 degrees and a good job and now 17 year old DS is sat in front of me playing his guitar. That blood changed the course of my life.

CheetasOnFajitas · 22/11/2020 15:44

@BitOfFun

Having re-watched the film due to this thread, what strikes me is that for either Gwynnie, the eventual outcomes are the same. So maybe we are just destined for whatever our lives become?
What? I just checked Wikipedia and the two outcomes are pretty different because in one she dies! Did you go and make a cup of tea before the end or something?!
To ask what was your 'sliding doors' moment?
Sideorderofchips · 22/11/2020 16:04

When I made the decision to go to a channel island to meet an Internet friend. Ended up marrying her brother.

When I made friends with another mum at a parenting group. And spontaneously invited her to mine. She met my husband. Now they are together.

I have regrets.

BitOfFun · 22/11/2020 19:42

Cheetahs Grin

I meant in terms of their love life (don't want to put spoilers here). I know one dies- and you've given away a major plot point there- but up until that point, ie during her life, she had found happiness, IYSWIM?

KitNCaboodle · 22/11/2020 22:56

Cutting a very long story short here.
Had a friend who I sometimes fooled around with. It was fairly PG stuff - no sex but fairly frequent bed sharing with a bit of fooling around.
He went away for a while with his job and told me he would want to be with me if it wasn’t for that. Called me when he was away and said he missed me. We planned to meet up again when he was back and make a go of it. This was when mobiles were a fortune to text and call abroad. He never did get in contact.

A while later (in my head it’s maybe a year later, but it could have been 6 months or so) he called me. It was late at night and he had been out. He was drunk. Said he was thinking about me and asked if I could get a cab to his.
I refused and said if he actually meant it he would call me in the morning. He never did.

A few weeks later I went out and met my now husband. I have a great life with him and our children but there is a part of me that wonders what would have happened had I got a cab to my friend that night.

BitOfFun · 22/11/2020 23:10

Kit, I think it's fairly safe to say you'd have spent however long with a self-centred user who would have cheated on you at some point on a work trip. You had a lucky escape!

I'm reading The Midnight Lbrary by Matt Haig at the moment, and it's all about exploring different lives you could have lived. It's a brilliant read; I'm really enjoying it.

ArranBound · 22/11/2020 23:39

I was due to be made redundant and had interviews for 2 jobs, but really wanted the first one. I didn't get the first one but did get the second and that was where, a couple of years later, I met my now husband.

KitNCaboodle · 23/11/2020 07:32

BitOfFun I needed to hear that! Thank you. Smile

That book has been mentioned before. Sounds like a good read. Think I’ll give it a go.

BikeRunSki · 23/11/2020 07:42

I had a friend of a friend, who I really rather liked. When I’d known him a couple of years we ended up working together. We were early m/mid twenties. There was a lot of “lurking” on our behalfs, but no actual action. It was a bit like car share!! And we did occassionally car share. About 18 months after I joined the company, he left to go to a new job abroad. I was designated driver in his leaving do. As I dropped him home he said “but why aren’t you coming with me?” (To the new country). Well, because you never asked...

I sometimes wonder how things would have panned out if I had gone. I had literally nothing concrete keeping me in the UK.

PunkyPirate · 25/11/2020 18:34

I often think if I hadn't of met my ex husbands or if I had been stronger and left him sooner rather than putting up with his years of mental and physical abuse I wouldn't be the anxious, mess I am now with no self esteem and undergoing trauma therapy.

But in the flip side I wouldn't of had my daughter and I'll always be thankful for her.

Swipe left for the next trending thread