To ask what was your 'sliding doors' moment?

[Fairyicecream]

For those that haven't seen the film Sliding Doors, it basically showed how different her life turned out if she caught the train/didn't catch the train.

What was one decision, one moment that could have changed your whole life?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. A few years ago my marriage went through a bad patch (understatement to say the least). DH talked about leaving. It was the worst time of my life and I honestly don't know how I got through it.

Anyway, i often wonder, what if I had just told him to go? We would now all be living separately and we and our beautiful DC would have a completely different life.

Instead, we are all now happier than we have ever been. But it could have all been so different with that one decision...

Cancelled a gig to go to a friends hen do...

Met my future DH on that night out.

Instant connection and wasn’t looking for it/anyone.

Definite sliding doors moment

I was OLD a year or so after a terrible break up with ExF. I was in my late 20s and already thinking there was no one for me. I came off after the initial free trial period - I'd met a few men but no one past 2 dates. I was on such a downer as I so wanted to meet someone and settle down. ExF really did break my heart.

My DM told me to get back on it so I did as I was told and paid the fee. The first person to contact me was my now DH, who I've now been very happily married to for 12 years.

Had DM not told me to get back on, I'd have never met DH.

My mum reluctantly agreed to a double date with her college roommate. When they arrived at the meeting place the men weren't there so my mum immediately crossed the road to get the bus back home.
The men (one of whom was to become my dad) arrived just before the bus did, and the rest is history.

I had a huuuuuge crush on one of my teachers when I was about 15. Switched my A-level plans from arts to sciences because of it, went on to do science at university, and most of my friendships, my current career and the place where I live are all a product of that. Presumably all down to some admin person randomly assigning my name to a particular class list, with no idea that they were determining the trajectory of my entire life!

Having counselling to deal with csa and then going NC with my identical twin sister. If I'd stayed to continue being bullied and put down I'd never have met my DH, had DS, got married or passed my driving test.
I'd never be as happy as I am right now.
Just amazed it took so long!

I can't do mine cos too outing. But I feel like for ages life was dropping me little hints, then suddenly the planets aligned (not all in a good way) and forced me to face up to loads of things I'd been ignoring.
I don't believe in God, or a plan or anything but that really did feel like fate.

No Sliding Doors moments for me but on Sunday night I finally got to watch the last 20 minutes of that movie after watching most of it on my way to Aus in 2001! I'd left my marriage and was off to stay with a friend in Queensland for some much needed RnR. I ran out of time to finish the movie and always wondered how it ended up. Sunday night DH was flicking through one of our streaming subs and there it was.

I should have married W.

Pulled away when the married man i was desperately in love with went to kiss me. Sometimes I have bitterly regretted it and wondered what might have been. Other times I feel convinced I did the right thing, saved myself hurt and heartache and might have denied myself the chance to meet my lovely DH.

Mine was after having a convo with partner that we weren't spending enough time together and he ironically decided to stay in the pub. Bored at home, l put the computer on and restored the last session where l came across a facebook chat between him and then girl he had been seeing behind my back. Best thing that ever happened to me!!

Lovely thread OP 😊

So many but currently if I hadn’t gone on the dreaded POF at the time that I had and been open to people that I would have in my past thought “not my type”, I wouldn’t have met DP. Just the most lovely person ever and I’m so happy. Always positive but felt like this time has been so long coming.

Soo happy 😊

8 years ago I’d pulled up outside the gym and my phone rang, it was my friend in tears as her bf had gone on a weekend bender - he did this a lot 🙄
I stayed on the phone, missed my class and after 30 minutes I said I had to go. I was drained from the call but decided I may as well have a quick work out as I was already there.
As I walked in the gym a tall man held the door for me and smiled. I smiled back, said thank you and headed straight to the bike machine. 5 minutes later said tall man sat on the bike next to me and we started chatting... we’ve been married for 5 years in December and have a DS who is 1.
If I didn’t miss my gym class I would never have met DH.

I found my birth mothers address and phone number on line. Got drunk and rang it. Long story short i flew to the USA to meet her soon after. She died a year later so if i hadn't made that impulsive call i would likely have never met her.

If I’d ignored the semi-annoying work colleague who tapped on my car window to talk to me one morning, we wouldn’t have become good friends. I the wouldn’t have met his best friend and then married him.

I do sometimes wonder what would happened if I’d been grumpy that morning and had just ignored him.

I was giving up on a dating site. I logged in to delete my profile and entire account. At the last second I messaged a guy who is been exchanging messages with but when I gave him my personal email address he never got in touch.

I sent something along the lines of, hope you're happy and it's a shame we never met but I wish you well.

He immediately replied saying he had been emailing me but it was me that never replied. Turns out his messages were going to my spam folder which I never check.

I always wonder what if I had just deleted my account and moved on as he is now DH and father of my children.

Two for me. I had a new job that I hated when I was about 22. I came home and had a free newspaper through door (yes I'm that old) and applied on the spur of the moment for a job I saw. It has dictated my entire career ever since.

I was going through divorce proceedings and a few months after this had started one of my pub set friends learned of this news long after everyone else. He plucked up the courage to ask me out at the exact time I told myself I must try and get out more after months of laying low. 13 years on we got married two weeks ago at the 2nd attempt in this Covid year.

Third year of Uni, been job hunting all day and had no luck. Was going to go home but decided to go into one last bar and got a job! Worked there for a year and made a good male friend who is now my husband and partner of 21 years and Father to our 2 children.

After years of unsuccessful online dating, went into my account just after Christmas to close it down and there was a message from a guy. Had I not logged in, I would never have seen it or had I logged in too late, it would have expired. 9 years later he's my DH and we have DS. So glad I logged in that day.

When I was 30 and single, I decided for that year I would accept every invitation that came my way (if I could afford it!) A work friend asked me to his wedding in Las Vegas...I couldnt decide whether this was within the realms of my promise to myself or too much on the expensive side....I decided to go...and met my future husband, father of my gorgeous girls and soul mate who had lived 5 miles up the road from me and I'd never met before despite us having been in many places at the same time. Had I decided not to go I would never have met him.

Kind of not the point of the thread but I do keep thinking about all the singles who won't meet each other because of the limitations of lockdown. Sometimes there's just a time in your life when you are ready or biologically ready to pair bond and I'm sure that they will meet someone but can't help think about their (missing) sliding doors moments.

A friend tipped me off that a man she worked with and who I had met a few times was going to ask me to partner him to a Summer Ball. I had been to this particular function the year before and didn’t really enjoy it, so I decided when he phoned up to ask me I’d have my excuses ready. Instead, he turned up on my doorstep one evening but when I saw him I said ‘yes’. 40 happy years and 2 children later I’m so glad he didn’t phone or this would never have happened!

At first I thought it when I chose to reconcile with my partner after we split up for 6 months. But then I remembered something else.

When I was16, my mum sent me to a 'self development programme.' It was a 12 weeks course that was meant to help 'youths.' 16-24 year old. I'd left school, with little GCSEs and couldn't hack retaking them at college. I was depressed and had started self harming (my mum didn't know) It was about a week before my 17th birthday, and I got the bus to the place the course was, and was walking up this road. I felt sick. I wanted to cry. I was so scared. It took every bit of me to keep walking to the building. I went in, and I don't think I spoke more than my name.

If had turned around, the easy option, I would never have met the woman who saved me from self harm. I wouldn't never have gone onto the next course I did. If I didn't do the second one, the course leader wouldn't have found my dream college course.

If I didn't do the college course, I wouldn't have got my degree. Made some lovely friends and wonderful memories. And I wouldn't have my partner. We wouldn't have had our gorgeous babies.

16 year old me was in a dark place. Doing the 12 week self development course, when all I wanted to do was go back home, I wouldn't be the person I am now.

(This is probably so outing -- if you know who I am. I recently changed user name. And haven't posted much with this one... never mind )

Not a decision I made but being adopted when I was a baby. People always look sympathetic when I mention it but I definitely dodged a bullet there.

Great idea for a thread although I don't have anything to add

I wasn’t ready to get commit and settle down with anyone until my mid 30s. Despite advice from friends to be flexible, I was determined to marry someone hadn't been divorced and didn’t have kids, like me.

Met a man 10 years older, looked good on paper, got married fairly quickly, it was a complete disaster. He was violent, horribly mean, belittling me whenever he could. I realized the reason he hadn’t married and had no children was because he didn’t want to be married or have children. When he kicked our puppy, I left. This was my sliding door moment.

Soon afterwards, my friend introduced me to a lovely guy, divorced (like me), single dad to a daughter. I fell in love with them both, he adored my puppy, we got married, added more children and dogs to our family. Just goes to show we don’t always know what we need.