To ask what was your 'sliding doors' moment?

[Fairyicecream]

For those that haven't seen the film Sliding Doors, it basically showed how different her life turned out if she caught the train/didn't catch the train.

What was one decision, one moment that could have changed your whole life?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. A few years ago my marriage went through a bad patch (understatement to say the least). DH talked about leaving. It was the worst time of my life and I honestly don't know how I got through it.

Anyway, i often wonder, what if I had just told him to go? We would now all be living separately and we and our beautiful DC would have a completely different life.

Instead, we are all now happier than we have ever been. But it could have all been so different with that one decision...

Met my wife in a bar, then outside kissing, and it looked somebody dipped her bag, but was chased - looked and her purse was gone, but went to double-check in the bar anyway, and bouncer had her purse. Thought nothing had been taken.

Walked with her to the bus, and while waiting my mate suggested I get on the bus with her - she lived in North London, I lived South. I went back, but nothing happened that night. In the morning, when she went to check my number on her phone, her phone was gone from her purse - that’s what had been taken.

If my mate hadn’t suggested I go back, I’d have texted her old number, got no response, and assumed she wasn’t really interested.

We’ve been married for 15 years and have three wonderful boys.

@DartmoorChef

I found my birth mothers address and phone number on line. Got drunk and rang it. Long story short i flew to the USA to meet her soon after. She died a year later so if i hadn't made that impulsive call i would likely have never met her.

goodness. Wow.

Mine is that my son with complex needs ended up going to a specialist residential school that I would never have considered, had my boss not suggested it. I would never have thought it appropriate for him.
That school changed his and our lives for the better. And the bonus is that i ended up getting together with one of DS's support staff. That was over 5 years ago. We are getting married next year.

DS very nearly didn't go to that school I'm so glad he did for a number of reasons

CloudyVanilla I know exactly what you mean about having a sense of your DH even before you met him. When I first met DH he was a total stranger but, I swear, it was like I recognised him. By the end of our first date we both knew that this was going to be forever, the connection was that strong. We've been together for nearly 30 years but have never stopped falling in love with each other, our marriage is still a lot of fun and passionate. Somehow we've avoided the state of 'mildly fond companionship' that seems to have afflicted so many of our long term married friends.

My husband and I met on an internet dating site, I'd messaged him, he'd messaged me but we kept missing each other on live chat. I had no internet at home and was staying at a friends house whilst she was on holiday and had signed up to a free 7 day trial of the dating site. On the last night staying at her house I'd decided that if I didn't get to talk to him then I'd not bother signing up and paying for it once my internet was set up at home. The stars aligned as he was online when I logged in that day, we got chatting and exchanged phone numbers. 13 years later, we are married with 4 children, but it could have been so different!

Years ago I was engaged and planning my wedding, if I hadn't gone in to the kitchen and seen my sister in his arms and the pair embracing, I would have married a cheat.

I gave some makeover advice to a friends friend bloke! He was down in the dumps as wasnt getting a look in with the girls. He had a beautiful face, was tall and had a really good job. He also had a very bad hair cut, bald with rim of hair around back, bless. Only in his late twenties too. I told him to shave it off and grow a beard next time he took two weeks holiday and promised him he would be married within the year. He did and he was.

Googled a client’s website late one Friday afternoon to find out something for a report. On the off chance clicked the “vacancies” button. Hid the page my boss walked past and forgot about it. Saw it again when closed down the PC, and saw a job that looked quite interesting. Rattled off an application. Got an intetview - the day we were due back from holiday, so went, but not very prepared . Got the job, have been with that employer for 16 years.

Too many to mention. Getting involved in politics rather than boxing, not making a pass when I had the chance screwing up a job

Late 20s been with partner 5 years never made me feel good enough always made to feel i was punching and should be grateful he was with me.

Was always very friendly with my best friend but never thought anything of it..

Very rarely any arguements would just disappear for days even weeks if id pissed him off or he was stressed. We ended up moving in together and things fell apart very quickly..

Several weeks went by with nc and we eventually met up for a chat and to collect some of his belongings. On his return on a wet windy evening he had a car accident resulting in a short stay in hospital to recuperate.

When i went back to work the next week a colleague said her pal was a nurse and wondered was i the pretty brunette that never left his bedside sometimes getting in beside him and brought him lovely treats. This described my best friend to a t.

At the time i was devastated but can now look back and say if that accident didnt happen i would have continued pining after a man that didnt love me, continue to think i had a fab best friend and i would never have met my current partner who makes me feel a million dollars and moved in with me after 1 month and proposed after 2 mths.

I would be aot kess trusting now and more than anything miss having a female best friend

I agreed to drive my non driving friend to meet a bloke we'd met on a night out a few days before. I was very happily single and loving life, he came along with his flatmate so I wouldn't be the spare wheel.
Said flatmate and I have spent almost every night together since, nearly 20 years, 2 kids and several house later!

I know exactly what my moment was here.
When I first got with DP, about 3 months after we got together, there was a really nasty situation with a woman he used to know.
Basically they were good friends for a while, they both had feelings for each other, but she messed him about, wouldn't go out with him properly as a couple, and in the end told him he should look for someone else.
The second he FOUND someone else (i.e. me), even though it was quite a while after she'd told him to, she immediately started sending him ridiculous texts like 'it should have been me' and saying that if he ended things with me, she would give him everything, her heart and soul, and she would move in with him.

Understandably this unnerved him as he'd had feelings for her for so long, he hadn't known me that long and had no idea whether our relationship would work beyond casual dating, and for ages she was all he wanted.

He was honest about this and told me it'd thrown him. I was gutted as I loved him even then, but I sat with him and talked it through. He came to the conclusion that this woman was saying what she was because she wanted to control him, and he did the very difficult thing of telling her not to contact him anymore .. which she ignored, and continued messaging, but after a couple of months we never heard anything from her again.

Three years on and we live together and are very happy and running a business together.

What he DOESN'T know was that while we were sitting there talking things through, I had made my mind up that I would tell him the next day that we were over, as I couldn't deal with the upset this was causing me. He made his decision before that though, so I never got the chance to end it, and I decided to give it a go - but also that if this happened again, I'd be gone. Luckily it never did.

He doesn't know even now how close I was to ending things, and if I had, we wouldn't have all of this now.

The ironic thing is that me and this woman had quite a lot in common so if she hadn't behaved the way she had, she would probably still have me and DP as close friends. But hey ho.

I’ve got a few:

I was due to join the Navy when I was 17. Had my train ticket to HMS Raleigh, bags packed ready to go the next day, but my (first) boyfriend at the time talked me out of it so I didn’t go. We split up a few months later. My mother was furious. I still can’t believe how utterly stupid I was!

I had recently moved to London, working as a live in hotel receptionist, and really fancied the assistant manager. It seemed to be reciprocated but neither of us had the guts to progress things further. He was very posh, private schooled, rich family, totally the opposite of me! The hotel staff often used to meet up in a bar a few doors down the road after work and there was one night that I was reliably informed he was going to make a move on me. I was in excruciating, expectant agony sitting there waiting for it, after making extra effort getting ready, but a few hours passed, it got to about midnight, and he still hadn’t approached me despite throwing lots of lingering looks my way. My colleagues could see I was upset and suggested going to a club so off we went, with him asking me not to go as he wanted to talk to me, but it was too late by then as I’d decided he taking the piss! When we got to the club I spotted the most gorgeous guy I’d ever seen , literally love at first sight (and I was a bit drunk) and because hotel guy had pissed me off so much, I had the courage to approach him which I would never normally have done. He’d noticed me too! He also hadn’t intended going out clubbing that night but his friend’s girlfriend set up a blind date with him and her friend which was a disaster as he hadn’t liked her so as he was out, he’d decided to meet up with friends who were in the club we were in. We’d arrived late in the evening at around the same time! I found out the next day that hotel guy was pretty devastated he’d lost his chance (future DH of 26 years and counting came back with me that night) .

I also got a plane when I shouldn’t have. Twice.

Many years ago I applied as a mature student to uni and booked to go to Australia in late Feb.
I really wanted to go to Edinburgh uni but hadn't heard. 2 days before my trip to Australia I accepted the place at my second choice uni.
The following day , the day before I was due to travel, my acceptance from Edinburgh arrived but I felt like it was too complicated, pre emails and mobile phones, to withdraw from one place and accept the other in 1 day.

If I had gone to Edinburgh I wouldn't have met my husband or had my children. I'd have different kids and live somewhere else (still in uni town). If that acceptance had arrived 24 hours earlier my life would be completely different.

Two moments for me.

I started a new job in a completely new town. I decided to have a wander around the city centre to acquaint myself with the area and bumped into someone I knew at University. We became good friends instead of Facebook friends so I was invited to her wedding.

At her wedding I met my friends new BIL who was the best man and who is now my DH with our lovely DD.

Second one was my contract was coming to an end but not for another 8 months. DH asked me what types of jobs were out there so I googled it. Right at the top of the search was my perfect job in the perfect location with the end application date the day after. I got the job and did not have to do the 1hr commute anymore.

Santina oh my god that's bloody awful

I’d been invited out for drinks for a friends 18th birthday but it was a Wednesday (still at school by this point) and I was skint so I wasn’t overly keen. My pen pal phoned me that night and persuaded me to go. That night I met a boy from a nearby town and we got together. 21 years later and we are married with two amazing little children 😊😊

I have a few of these. Mainly around the same age TBH

Age 16 - had total crush on boy I worked with at the paper shop. All the other staff could see that we fancied each other but we were both quite oblivious. I finally took my chance to ask him after someone made a comment in a leaving card, and he thought I was joking and said "Oh no, I just see you like a sister!" I was privately gutted but moved on from him fairly efficiently and had a string of really disastrous relationships. Paper shop boy was actually a really nice boy and probably would have been 100x better as an early relationship model.

Age 18 - went to pub after work feeling maudlin as had just broken up with BF. Saw bloke from other shop in town I fancied and decided on a whim to make a move on him. I probably wouldn't have gone near him if I hadn't been a bit drunk and feeling devil may care. He was 5 years older than me and turned out to be a controlling paranoid bastard. Persuaded me not to go to uni (argh) and we were together nearly 3 years and I had a child with him. DS1 is lovely but the whole thing effectively wrote off the plans I'd had for my life. Knowing me I would have screwed them up another way, but still!

Age 22 - I was a lone parent with a one year old who was absolutely disastrous at sleep - at one point he was actually fully nocturnal. I wound up talking on MSN to the one person who was online - due to dropping out of uni and working nights in a hotel. It was paper shop boy. We discovered we'd both been terminally awkward aged 16 and missed our moment. We are now married and emigrated together and have a second child :)

I was offered a job in Asia a few weeks after my Mum suffered a horrible tragedy when her partner died suddenly in an accident. I didn’t want to go because I felt I should stay closer to support her. She talked me into it, saying “You would be no daughter of mine if you passed up this chance”. I went, and with about a year I met my now husband. I cannot bear to think what my life might have been without him, or our son. Only sad thing is that Mum never really got over the loss and died herself the year before we got married. She came to visit though and always said she never regretted advising me to go.

Mines a bit sad. I often wonder how different my life would be if my brother hadn’t killed himself. As a result of his death I went to a different secondary and met different people and friends. I ended up at a drama specialist school. Met a new boyfriend doing theatre, moved countries and eventually met snd married my now husband and had kids.
A lot of friends in my home country struggle financially but I have a very comfortable life (pre-covid).
It actually haunts me quite a bit.

@exaltedwombat

Interesting how many replies are about meeting 'the one'. In reality, if that 'one' hadn't crossed your path, another 'one' would have. But I'm glad so many of us have found contentment!

Reminds me of this song.

Shameless place marking.

Such an interesting thread!

First marriage was going down the pan; separated & on the way to divorce. I'd been working part-time, but needed a full-time job. So I joined a temping agency with the idea of getting to know a few workplaces before applying for a permanent post.
A job came up, one day of data entry that nobody wanted to do. Manager at the agency practically begged me to take it, so I did. Was offered a maternity leave cover job that day & took it. I met my lovely DH there. 23 years and two children later, it was the best decision of my life.

Name change for this as it’s very outing. My sliding door moment is a train one too..

One morning instead of hitting snooze I accidentally switched my alarm off. When I did wake up I had just about enough time for a very quick shower. I was running towards the tube when I saw a man rush pass a woman (who was bogged down by quite a few bags)he bumped her quite hard and a couple of her bags and their contents went tumbling to floor. He didn’t even apologise. I walked past her but felt bad so turned back around to help pick her stuff. She had just arrived in London so also asked for directions. By this I was really annoyed with myself for being a good samaritan, I knew I was going to miss my train and be late for work. Lo & behold I got to the platform in time to see the back of it.

The train I missed was one that had been damaged in the 7/7 blast at Edgware Road. It had been passing the bombed train.

Mine was deciding to go to Uni instead of accepting a job I’d been pestering for for a couple of years. Had I known at the time that I could have done a part-time degree whilst working, I would have accepted the job. It was at Uni that I met my ex-husband...