To ask what was your 'sliding doors' moment?

[Fairyicecream]

For those that haven't seen the film Sliding Doors, it basically showed how different her life turned out if she caught the train/didn't catch the train.

What was one decision, one moment that could have changed your whole life?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. A few years ago my marriage went through a bad patch (understatement to say the least). DH talked about leaving. It was the worst time of my life and I honestly don't know how I got through it.

Anyway, i often wonder, what if I had just told him to go? We would now all be living separately and we and our beautiful DC would have a completely different life.

Instead, we are all now happier than we have ever been. But it could have all been so different with that one decision...

Completely not the point of the thread - but I was in that film

It's not "fate". It's just that there are consequences to every decision, some good, some bad, some that don't have much effect. But it's daft to say it was "fate" that you met your partner after going to a certain place, simply because if you hadn't your life would have gone another way, you'd probably have met a different person who became your partner instead and had different children - and now you'd be saying it was "fate" that you met because you'd gone to that other place instead. See? There are an infinite number of alternate timelines.

I needed a proper local full-time job after DH had a stroke. Idly looking through the local paper - not a place where I would have normally looked for a graduate managerial-level job! - I spotted something and applied. It turned out to be my perfect job. 'I don't normally look in the local paper for jobs !' I said at interview. 'We don't normally advertise there.' the CEO replied.'They had an offer on!' I was very happy there until I retired.

I do sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if my Mum hadn’t caught Rubella (German measles) during a nursing shift while she was pregnant with me - as a result I’m deaf.

I’m happy with my life, but various decisions have hinged on the fact that I’m deaf e.g moving house to get me to a better school when I was four, and much later - studying a vocational degree to prove I’m employable!

I was given opportunity to take over a drop out place for joining Navy rather than the later date I was scheduled. Didn’t take it and met my partner the weekend I would have started there. Within a fortnight I knew I wasn't going!

If I hadn't gone rock climbing and fallen I wouldn't now be paralysed from waist down

Back in the day when you could apply for both uni and polys I messed up my a levels which meant I could take up my uni place so was left with my poly place. Accepted it then had a wobble and basically decided I wanted to go to my second choice poly - secured a place and ended up at the other side of the country for where I should have been

Long story short met dh there and we've been together for 30 years with 4 kids!

On paper my first choice was perfect but something made me go elsewhere.

I had recently split from my long term partner and was absolutely broken hearted. My best friend persuaded me to go clubbing and I very reluctantly went along. Then she pulled some bloke quite early in the evening so I was left playing gooseberry. Eventually I decided to call it a really shit night and take my broken heart home. Just as I was leaving the club, this bloke appeared out of nowhere and asked me to dance. Reader, I married him...

Mine is really my husbands! We lived in a rural seaside place and although we worked together we only knew each other to say hello. He knew that I lived in a village and asked if I could give him a lift to get his haircut. I was popping home then heading back to town so said if I saw him post haircut at bus stop I’d give him a lift. He was there when I was passing through and I invited him to my work leaving drinks that night. He said yes and after (many) drinks we got together that night. We’ve been married 21 years and have three kids. I often wonder what If I’d not changed jobs, or he’d not got his haircut or if I’d not seen him at bus stop - my family moved away a year later and we went with them so doubtful we’d have got together had it not been for my leaving drinks. Seems like a lifetime ago now

Mixedupworld I’m so sorry that happened to you xxx

Mine is... if I didnt stay at home where I grew up and instead moved in with my dad. I would have a whole different life right now. Wouldn't of got together with my partner and had my 2 beautiful children. I often think how my life would of gone had I not of stayed but now wouldn't change a thing

My mum nearly didn’t go to a dance with her friend because her hair was still wet from washing it ( she didn’t have a hair dryer in those days). Her friend persuaded her to go and she met my dad. If she hadn’t have gone, I wouldn’t be here today.

I have two. Aged 17, I went to a pub one night as I was bored. Ended up meeting a guy, who became a great friend and last year, his wife offered me a great job that I love, and is paying for my training!

And on our way to the live earth concert, DH & I met a man on a train who was also headed that way. And had tickets for the same train afterwards. We became good friends, introduced him to one of our good friends and they are now married with two DC.

Accepted an interview for a job with the jobcentre I thought I had zero chance of getting. On the day the bus didn't turn up, nearly didn't go but in the end grabbed a taxi and made it on time just. Didn't get the job.

About 2 months later I was temping and miserable when my phone rang. It was someone from the department of social security, they had a new intake doing something totally different starting on Monday, someone had dropped out and did I want the job. The panel who interviewed me for the job I didn't get were apparently very impressed with me and so I ended up getting a really interesting job I'd never applied for.

Mine is odd. I auditioned for choir a in my first term at university. Someone heard me singing through the wall and invited me to join chamber choir b. Went to scary chamber choir and met DH as he swept in out of the snow, all gruff charming bass 2. Four kids later we're still singing.

Asked out by two guys 10 years ago at work at same time. One was a good looking funny IT guy who made me laugh, the other was charismatic really good looking sales guy. I ended up months later going out with the IT guy after saying no to both originally. I've been married to IT guy for 8 years now with our own house and family. Charismatic sales guy I found out last year was killed in a motorcycle accident leaving small children and wife behind

Will enjoy reading this thread- I’ve got a few I think...
We relocated for my dads job against my mums wishes moving from a very small village up north to a large city down south away from all our family when I was very young - both sides of our very large family all lived there. I think life would have been very different if we’d have stayed.
Then when I was 14 the day we were due to exchange/complete on the house to relocate back to said family village chain fell through. We never did move back.

I pulled of my social work degree very last minute to change to a very niche course everyone thought I was bonkers at the time but I have after several years got my perfect job in my very niche field so the risk paid off in a big way.

Early days of seeing a new boyfriend bumped into my ex on a night out and he tried to win me back I turned him down. I ended up marrying that very new boyfriend and having 2 absolutely beautiful children so that worked out.

I lied to get a medical test because I had convinced myself I was ill. I am still alive and kicking because of that fib.

Went on a work trip overseas where I spent some time with a really lovely colleague who I confided with about the borderline abusive long term relationship I was in at the time (I couldn’t see it). She made me realise that I was worth more & that the way I was living my life wasn’t right or what I deserved. Ended it as soon as I got back, which was just awful in so many ways & so hard & I just know I wouldn’t have had the balls to do this if she hadn’t coached me as to my worth. Now many years later I’m happily married & expecting, treated like a princess, live in a wonderful house, with my finances completely sorted & I often think about my sliding doors moment.

1991

I ran a mobile disco and had plenty of bookings for Christmas parties ..... remember them ?

On the Monday before one called up for that Friday to cancel. Damn we thought but genuine family emergency, next night a neighbour knocked on the door, their DJ for her firm’s Christmas party has let them down (probably offered more money on another gig) and was there any chance I was free .... lucky I told her, just had cancellation

That night at the party a very pretty 19 year old girl pulled the DJ ..... me and this person was the person who I would go onto marry on 1994

Still married 26 years later

If I hadn't asked my friend what football team her daughter supported I wouldn't have met my husband and we wouldn't have our beautiful daughter! She arranged to have her daughter meet me at the ground with a workmate, my workmate knew her boyfriend's friend supported the team and would probably be there. So she arranged to meet him in the bar at half time. We nearly didn't make it there in the first place because the floodlights failed and we thought the match would be cancelled so we were considering hanging around in the pub with our colleagues. At one stage I was considering having the wedding at the ground (but it was a bit of a kip and most likely didn't do weddings ;))

I was 18 and out with a friend. We walked past 2 tattoo studios opposite each other and made the decision to go in- I went to one and she to the other so it'd be a surprise what we got. If I'd picked the other studio I wouldn't have met my DH who tattooed a tiny bumblebee on my ankle and in return got my number (and now 3 sons)

I think I'm in the middle of my Sliding Doors moment...

Back in my very late teens, I met someone who I'd never got on with so well so quickly. In the space of under 2 weeks, we went from complete strangers to the brink of a relationship but he was already seeing someone so I told him to choose. He confessed to his girlfriend and all contact stopped immediately. We've literally only seen each other in passing a few times until this year.

This summer, almost 20 years later, one of us is widowed & the other is going through a divorce. We got back in contact with each other after I saw he was having a rough time - first time we've spoken in all that time. After talking a few times, we realised that we still got on as friends as well as we had before. A few weeks later, as bruised as we both are after the last couple of years, it became obvious that we still have a lot of feelings for each other. It's still early days, but right now we're enjoying each other's company and seeing how it's going.

One night when was 19 I was a real party girl, loved going out with friends and just having a good time. I'd go out a few times a week.

But one night I'd done a killer shift at my then job and was absolutely shattered. Had a bath, took all my makeup off, got in pyjamas and snuggled down for the night. One of my best friends was asking me to come out and I was adamant it was an absolute no, I was already settled in etc.

I ended up going out and she had invited a man I had a crush on from afar but didn't know. I didn't have any mutual friends with him but she had been chatting to him and had invited him out with us and a couple of others. I was thrilled! I always thought there was something special about him but I was far too shy to approach him especially as he was older than me and again, no mutual friends.

That man is now my dp of 8 years and we have 3 children together. He is my absolute kindred spirit and I love him so much, but I often shudder to think what would have happened had I not gone out that night. Apart from the one girlfriend I was not clowe with anyone else we went out with and I honestly never would have had the courage to go and speak to him. If all those circumstances hadn't come together we would never have met in such a way and likely wouldn't be together now.

It sounds such a boring story now 😅 especially because there are lots of little details I have left out as an attempt at brevity. I do often think about how I felt about him before I had even met him as I saw him around, coupled with the improbability of us meeting like that and it makes me feel like we were meant to be :)

But yes that one small event for sure changed the course of my life.

And I fully understand that logically I would have ended up with someone eventually. But my sense of him before even knowing him and our love and bond now makes me genuinely sad to think how easily it could have not happened. I could be in an average boring relationship with a man whos a bit of a twat or annoying or a cheat or something, I'm just so glad it was him