OBSESSION with Xmas

[ODFODXmas]

I hate Xmas. I really do. I always have. I don’t have a single happy Xmas memory from childhood and a lot of unhappy things have happened at that time of year for me. I’d rather opt out of the entire thing, such is the dislike. I’m atheist, so don’t do any of the religious stuff. I quite like celebrating the winter solstice (an actual thing) and tend to follow the pagan celebrations with a tree and nice food. Don’t go overboard with presents or anything else. I’m more than happy for other people to love Xmas. I revel in the joy they have for it. I just don’t want to do it myself. A bit like running or eating kale.

The same doesn’t work in reverse though. Every year I’m made to feel like a pariah for not wanting to talk about Xmas from September, arrange various secret Santas in October, not wearing a Xmas jumper every Friday from August, not having Xmas bedding or tea towels or a 47 course Xmas dinner menu planned in February.

Were I jewish or Jehovah’s Witness it wouldn’t happen. There would be a religious/cultural understanding.

Why is it not just okay to not get involved? Why don’t they just leave me alone? I’ve asked enough bloody time. Xmas isn’t happy for everyone, just as not everyone likes sprouts. 🤷🏻‍♀️

(This is mainly colleagues and friends but also some family.)

I dont enjoy Christmas...im a lone parent to 3 kids so i do it all...all the cooking...shopping...decorating the house....present buying and wrapping....i find it exhausting and adore getting back to normal in January.

Look - I love christmas - i start EARLY. But i dont talk to anyone about it, nor do i try and make people try and like it - i really couldn't give a flying fuck about what you do over Christmas. Celebrate - dont celebrate - i really dont care.

Your colleagues sound like that there are trying to wind you up, but its gone on for far too long, and it looks like they have taken it too far. Its become annoying, rude even. You say they some of them are HR - some of them are not, so perhaps think about going to HR. What kind of company is it - small? big? decent focus on employee happiness/wellbeing? See, if this happened to me - there would be an investigation and they would all have some sort of formal warning, my company are great at stuff like this.

It doesn't matter how much you hate christmas nor how much they like it, they are making you feel uncomfortable and its become clear that you now dread looking at the work WhatsApp chat thing - it might affect the way you work etc and thats an issue. Take it up with HR, or tell them youre taking it up with HR, see if they stop/apologise. The decided your next step.

Sorry. Half of the people on the group are the whole of HR. There’s nobody else I can go to that’s HR but not part of the group.

@myusernamewastakenbyme

I dont enjoy Christmas...im a lone parent to 3 kids so i do it all...all the cooking...shopping...decorating the house....present buying and wrapping....i find it exhausting and adore getting back to normal in January.

I agree I just see it as one big long to do list!

cocomarine

Wow, aren’t you a peach!

Someone up thread was asking about Xmas Christmas and I was just explaining it, you know, being helpful.

You do not even know my views.

@HeartZone I apologise. I did not read your post as you explaining in an “this might be why other people say Xmas is a bad word” way, but in a “giving your own opinion” way. Obviously an opinion I would not agree with. But - apologies for misunderstandBig your post, and jumping on you incorrectly.

Ah thanks cocomarine ....and myself ....I use Xmas all the time 😆 apart from when I know it would annoy certain special people in my life.

I enjoy Christmas but like you for me I also see that period as a way to mark the turn of the year in the more ancient pagan traditions. I also enjoy looking back to the medieval period for inspiration, music etc.

My family and DHs family are Catholic and as such they send religious cards, go to mass and that’s fine. Many of my friends are agnostic or even atheists so I send them a seasons greetings card. If you were my friend and I knew your feelings I’d send you a solstice card or message.

I think many people mean well when they send cards or wish you merry Christmas or invite you to parties etc. I don’t love all the enforced socialising at Christmas or waste but I do see that at its root Christmas is a festival of human hope in the face of darkness and what must have been in the past a terrifying time for people in the northern hemisphere. I think a trace of that dread remains and that celebrating and feasting in December is something that gets people through.

Op your not unreasonable for feeling as you do but Christmas is not going away even Jewish people and Muslims have to put up with merry Christmas and Secret Santa’s.

Yabu for not eating Kale though, it’s yummy!

@Bells3032 I was going to say that one of my close friends is more crazy for Christmas than anyone I know, lights, pressies, parties, cards and she’s Jewish.

I've just read all your posts @ODFODXmas but not the full thread.
It does sound like it's getting a bit out of hand into bullying territory. Not good, particularly as you have had traumatic Christmases in the past. I can identify with that
I'm lucky as I don't work in the sort of place where that could happen, but I imagine in would look similar if I did.
I think you've struck unlucky and it's outrageous that the HR team are in on it.
I had some psychotherapy sessions and found them helpful for giving me strategies to handle difficult situations like this.