OBSESSION with Xmas

[ODFODXmas]

I hate Xmas. I really do. I always have. I don’t have a single happy Xmas memory from childhood and a lot of unhappy things have happened at that time of year for me. I’d rather opt out of the entire thing, such is the dislike. I’m atheist, so don’t do any of the religious stuff. I quite like celebrating the winter solstice (an actual thing) and tend to follow the pagan celebrations with a tree and nice food. Don’t go overboard with presents or anything else. I’m more than happy for other people to love Xmas. I revel in the joy they have for it. I just don’t want to do it myself. A bit like running or eating kale.

The same doesn’t work in reverse though. Every year I’m made to feel like a pariah for not wanting to talk about Xmas from September, arrange various secret Santas in October, not wearing a Xmas jumper every Friday from August, not having Xmas bedding or tea towels or a 47 course Xmas dinner menu planned in February.

Were I jewish or Jehovah’s Witness it wouldn’t happen. There would be a religious/cultural understanding.

Why is it not just okay to not get involved? Why don’t they just leave me alone? I’ve asked enough bloody time. Xmas isn’t happy for everyone, just as not everyone likes sprouts. 🤷🏻‍♀️

(This is mainly colleagues and friends but also some family.)

I’m not sure who you know OP! People I know don’t see to be quite so obsessed or interested in what others are doing.

Just going through this weeks work messages (all without input from me):

Suggestion I can be converted and several signing up to the “challenge”
Plans to decorate the office this week. Including a musical Santa that is “bound to have her tapping her feet”
Pictures of dogs and cats in Xmas jumpers, hats, collars etc.
Pics of Xmas clothing being worn covertly (socks, PJ trousers)
Xmas backgrounds on video calls.
Discussion on best way to cook sprouts, gravy and colleague’s (butcher) husband’s top tips for a “moist bird”. Oh, and no surprise ODFOD hates Xmas if she doesn’t eat turkey. Leads to argument about whether cauliflower cheese goes with a roast dinner.
Publication of the Xmas rota - “no worries. ODFOD can work and we can all take a fortnight off, lol”

@ODFODXmas

Just going through this weeks work messages (all without input from me):

Suggestion I can be converted and several signing up to the “challenge”
Plans to decorate the office this week. Including a musical Santa that is “bound to have her tapping her feet”
Pictures of dogs and cats in Xmas jumpers, hats, collars etc.
Pics of Xmas clothing being worn covertly (socks, PJ trousers)
Xmas backgrounds on video calls.
Discussion on best way to cook sprouts, gravy and colleague’s (butcher) husband’s top tips for a “moist bird”. Oh, and no surprise ODFOD hates Xmas if she doesn’t eat turkey. Leads to argument about whether cauliflower cheese goes with a roast dinner.
Publication of the Xmas rota - “no worries. ODFOD can work and we can all take a fortnight off, lol”

From this I would say that you are maybe not as discreet with your anti Christmas sentiment than you think. Maybe at Christmas you turn into a grumpy barsteward and they all find it funny to wind you up. As PPs have said most people are not discussing Christmas yes and certainly not emailing about it.

I am sorry you had a miserable time at Christmas when you were young, not because it’s put you off but because it’s awful for anyone young to have misery at any time.

You either need new friend and colleagues or maybe just be a bit less grumpy clearly say I don’t celebrate Christmas sorry and leave it at that.

I’m with you OP. I enjoy a break from work and am happy cooking for my family but as for the whole pressure of house decorating, stockings, presents, parties it’s all far too much hassle.

As for:

*I also hate Xmas.

But love Christmas.

Xmas is a horrible word.
Why?*

This person is referring to ‘Xmas’ missing out the meaning of it all ( as in Christ)

Oh god. Yes. EVERYONE wants you to enjoy it. I can lie to get out of stuff. But if I am authentic "No thanks I'm not interested" then suddenly I'm this hugely offensive person. I'm guessing it can't be that great, otherwise there wouldn't be this cultish need to get everyone joining in.

Your clearly not happy for others to love Christmas, judging by your posts.

I'm a 'bah humbug' and proud of it!
I used to do it for the kids but they are old enough now not to care too much and as long as we have a nice Christmas dinner and some chocolate they are not too fussed about it really.
I've had years of people telling me I'm a misery , but each to their own.
Do whatever makes you happy.

@HeartZone

I’m with you OP. I enjoy a break from work and am happy cooking for my family but as for the whole pressure of house decorating, stockings, presents, parties it’s all far too much hassle.

As for:

*I also hate Xmas.

But love Christmas.

Xmas is a horrible word.
Why?*

This person is referring to ‘Xmas’ missing out the meaning of it all ( as in Christ)

Except that:

1. Christ isn’t the meaning of it as it’s a co-opted winter festival anyway
2. Christ isn’t the meaning of it because you don’t get to tell what the meaning of it is
3. Many people believe that the reason the abbreviation is X-mas not C-mas is because of the Greek cross symbol, so if you want to see Christ in it - fill your boots. Just stop telling other people what to think 🙄

@HeartZone

I’m with you OP. I enjoy a break from work and am happy cooking for my family but as for the whole pressure of house decorating, stockings, presents, parties it’s all far too much hassle.

As for:

*I also hate Xmas.

But love Christmas.

Xmas is a horrible word.
Why?*

This person is referring to ‘Xmas’ missing out the meaning of it all ( as in Christ)

Which is precisely why I use Xmas. Given it has bugger all, in reality, with anyone’s birth.

Xmas is a horrible word.
Why?

This person is referring to ‘Xmas’ missing out the meaning of it all ( as in Christ)

Only for Christians. As the OP clearly stated, she has nothing against the Pagan elements of the period (eg Winter Solstice) which is what the celebration was actually about before the Romans turned up and demanded that all existing celebrations must be about God if the people wanted to keep them. The people of our country did want to keep the Winter Solstice and re-branded it as Christmas.

It's accepted in Theological study that Jesus the man was born in October.

@DaddysGirlForLife

Your clearly not happy for others to love Christmas, judging by your posts.

Explain, please?

You can spend the whole of December eating nothing but sprouts and wearing nothing but fairy lights. If that’s how you derive joy, I’ll be genuinely happy for you.

But determining that my not joining in means I don’t want you to do it either? Nope, can’t see that.

I lead a fairly average life I think, live in a village, have friends, colleagues and kids.
I haven't ever been involved in any of this hype that you speak of starting so early and certainly no one would berate me if I opted out of secret Santa or the office gathering.

It seems your friends and family do not respect you at all.

OP you DO need a Christmas jumper, but you can wear it for all of December (you can start now if you want):

www.amazon.co.uk/bah-humbug-jumper-Clothing/s?rh=n%3A83450031&k=bah+humbug+jumper&tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I didn't mean that ^^ meanly. It just might make them shut up.

I can see your points OP, I quite like Christmas but I don’t like people who are OTT about getting in the spirit of it really early and expecting you to feel the same. Especially when they just bang on and on about it and don’t take the hint you are not as into it as they are!

I worked in an office where I dreaded it every year, I could not for the life of me get excited about putting up decorations around the office, secret Santa’s and the Christmas meal 🥱. I like putting our decorations up at home and celebrating with my family but that’s it for me.

I booked annual leave for the office Christmas party every year, I just hate forced jollity especially with people I looked forward to getting away from as quickly as possible!

They’re literally posting pictures now of Xmas themed clothing they’ve found this weekend and suggesting it become a mandatory uniform, especially for me.

These people sound like bores, whoever they are!

It’s actually feeling like bullying now (and I don’t say that lightly).

Did she not want you to be one too?

I’m sure my mum would have loved me to have been a Jehovah’s Witness but what’s that to do with this thread? MN is so weird sometimes.

Well, I think that's workplace bullying, wearing the costume of Christmas. And they can fuck right off. Christmas can be upsetting for so many, for so many reasons, it's important to be sensitive to that, not a workplace arsehole about it.

You have my sympathy OP. Slightly ironically, DH and I are both practicing Christians, but the vast majority of what happens around Christmas in the UK is cultural, nothing to do with our faith - we've both celebrated Christmas outside the west, where locally the celebration doesn't involve gifts or family, let alone Santa. As a result, we don't do a lot of 'culturally normal' stuff (we're in the UK now), and boy do we get to hear about it.....

Your colleagues sound like dick heads .

@ODFODXmas I have to say it’s sounding less and less about you not liking Xmas and more that your colleagues are very strange! Never experienced the like! Why are they all obsessed with Christmas now and decorating in November? It does seem to be turning into actual bullying. They wouldn’t get away with talking about ‘converting’ you if you had a religion that doesn’t celebrate Christmas. (Which as an atheist you do; but hopefully you know what I mean)