To wonder how many people truly want Christmas to be "saved"

[IrkedEssex]

I am no fan of lockdowns and would rather we were not locked down for Christmas. But I think it would be a crying shame if all the privations everyone has suffered are reduced in their efficacy due to a desire to "save" Christmas. Such a move might well involve stricter restrictions in the lead up or aftermath. I am also wondering how many people, in all honesty, absolutely love spending Christmas Day with family.

Most people I know find it at least as much duty as pleasure; traipsing half way across the country to crowd in with relatives, family arguments, restive children, huge expense yada yada yada. In my family it is the older generations who drive the togetherness aspect of it, but they then get the most tantrum-y and ill-tempered. Most people I know mainly love the lead up to Christmas with the fun and the parties and the decorations. Well, we can decorate to our hearts' content and there won't be fun and parties in December no matter which way you look at it. Gifts can be sent. So is it really worth fixating on Christmas togetherness? I'm totally prepared to be in the minority here; am genuinely interested in how others feel about this.

YABU - I and my family love to be together on Christmas Day and are desperate for it to be saved, even if it means stricter restrictions either side of the day itself.

YANBU - Christmas Day gatherings are mostly a hassle at the best of times and it is not worth prejudicing lockdown progress by lifting restrictions purely to save Christmas.

I think people want the choice

DP may be dying, this could be our last Christmas. Yes, I care very much that his adult daughter and her boyfriend are able to be here for Christmas.

You have set up a false dichotomy.

I suggest that anyone who doesn't enjoy Xmas get togethers uses COVID as a reason not to do them. Anyone who does enjoy them, crack on as far as possible.

Haven't RTFT but I'm desperate for Christmas to be saved. The huge gatherings of 20+ people crammed into one room, sitting on the side of sofas, laughing til we can't breathe at charades etc, is the highlight of my year. I love getting my family together and we have the most fun ever, and the fact we've done Christmas like this for 10+ years without anyone dropping out makes me think it's all mutual.

I couldn't care less about 'saving' Christmas. I have no family and hate Christmas with a passion. Every year I'm bombarded with advertising that makes me feel like I'm an utter failure for not having the traditional 'family around the table eating a roast turkey' bollocks. A lockdown Christmas would be no different to normal for me and I think it would give a lot of very smug people a wakeup call about how it really is for a lot of people.

We’re cosying up but we do that every year, now in-laws are in100s of miles away but even when they lived nearer we always well come to you Boxing Day. I will miss their visit in December though.

I don’t think Christmas is a hassle but I do like things done a certain way (I’m like that) and it means I have nothing to get the additional anxiety from.
My MIL was absolutely force herself in to my gone as she has done numerous times before but I can cough violently at her and she’ll semi-behave herself.

It's all very well if your dc lives with you but what about those who have young adult dcs and they don't want to live with them?
What about the months they have already spent aprt, missed birthday celebrations. I would support a lockdown over Christmas but only if everything and I mean everything is locked down.

I lean more towards the latter. Obviously single people should be able to join family or a friend for the day, but I don’t think massive gatherings are a good idea this year.

Not every family finds a big gathering unenjoyable, so I feel for people who do like it- this year will feel so unpleasant for many at Christmas.

Our families are in the SW and NW, so for years now we’ve seen them in mid Dec and a few days after Christmas, and spent actual Christmas Day etc at home. We spent 6 years seeing both families over ten days, travelling on Boxing Day, and had to stop as it was too exhausting!

If anyone was alone we’d obviously invite them to ours or go to them, but while parents etc have other children to be with we’ll keep doing it like this. We’ll be sad for them and DS if we can’t do our usual round of visits, but it’s not a good idea with Covid numbers still so high.

My Christmas probably will be better compared to other years. It's always actually been exhausting, always at work on all the days other people celebrate, have parties etc and so I'm generally absent anyway. And there's always at least one twat who seems to go out of their way to ensure I knew my place over Christmas and that is to serve and only serve and I have no right to the tradition of "Goodwill to all men" etc and just make my life hell because they want to.
I generally end up being called all sorts of cunt, cleaning up other people's sick, splitting up fights and getting shouted at. Be a nice change that those events can't take place to be honest.
Everyone is always ok with that happening to the likes of me, so I'm ok with those events not happening this year from that pov.
I'm no longer in the industry, due to covid anyway, but do understand that those events provided a lot of revenue to keep places going over winter, so it's worrying that they can't go ahead and the impact that will have. But no I'm not bothered that people can't go out to parties this year, get completely shit faced, be arseholes, and then say "But it's Christmas" be nice to actually see something of Christmas myself this year.

Two separate things to be honest.

Will I be really sad and angry if I can't go and see my mother who lives on her own 250miles away from me and who I haven't seen since last Christmas. Yes!

Am I pleased that this year my family are planning to stay put in whatever part of the country they are, therefore avoiding the discussion of who's going where on what day, who's cooking, who's picking up my grandmother enroute etc. Yes!

Not bothered about a huge Christmas, as long as everyone is safe. My mum is going to my brothers (childcare bubble) so I won't see her till January but we are both fine with it, my DC are between mine and their dads households (as allowed) and I will have my partner here Christmas Day. Back to work on 27th.

Its one Christmas 'ruined' to save potentially a lot of lives. I appreciate a lot of people are taking it more seriously due to ill loved ones/lonely granny/its been a long time/I'll do what I want regardless etc but we need to stick to guidelines. The numbers of cases/deaths after Christmas will have a percentage of the 'I'd rather be ill than miss the family at Christmas' risk-takers but they will be statistics nonetheless. This will contribute to an even longer lockdown in the long run.

I do not agree with people (on MN and in RL) who wants schools shut early December so people can isolate before travelling to vunerable family. By all means, take your kids out if you feel its necessary to improve your Christmas but schools should remain open as long as possible.

@emilybrontescorsett

It's all very well if your dc lives with you but what about those who have young adult dcs and they don't want to live with them? What about the months they have already spent aprt, missed birthday celebrations. I would support a lockdown over Christmas but only if everything and I mean everything is locked down.

This is exactly the position I am in - I went into far too much detail,in my earlier post.

I don’t think any of them will end up alone for Christmas - ds1 and his fiancée would have a little family Christmas, ds2 has a standing invitation to go to his girlfriend’s family, and it is looking unlikely that ds3 (the student) won’t be allowed to come home, though he may need to get a test.

But, as I said, it is the uncertainty that is getting to me.

To be clear I have no problem what so ever not being able to go out. It's not seeing my immediate family which will be the killer for me.

I don't much care if Christmas is "saved" or not. It's not one of my priorities and if I have an excuse to cancel it then I'll be grabbing it with both hands

YANBU - I've not seen my in laws since last Christmas and it would make my Christmas 2020 not to have to tolerate them this year. I've really been looking forwards to a small close family Christmas without that pair of dickheads

I am with you but at the same time I really feel sorry for those people that are ill and this may be their last Christmas but at the same time this could be anyone's last Christmas and we just don't know it yet
I don't know what I'm saying I live Christmas but would be ok if we missed it this year I just want my family around for next Xmas
Sorry I'm no help

I dont care about Christmas in terms of socialising. I just want the second wave to be over.

Yes, I think some people would be quite happy to have a year off!

Part of me is gutted, it will only be the second Christmas in 38 years I've not spent with my mum. I'm a teacher and she has L4 lung failure, so no way I can see her even if the restrictions are lifted (unless they close schools with 2 weeks to go before Christmas, but as a head of year 11, I really don't want that). However, it will mean that my boys dad can spend the whole day with them. We normally stay at his Christmas eve and do stockings and a huge breakfast and then the boys and I drive 100 miles to my mum's and stay a few days. If we are at home then he can join us here as we are in a bubble anyway. So that will be nice .... I guess!

Somewhere in the middle here. I absolutely appreciate that large family gatherings are not a good idea, but I also think that a blanket ban on not meeting up with family outside your immediate household isn't realistic or fair since so many of us don't live in family units any more. I'm by myself, and am lucky enough to be in a bubble with my sister and her partner, so won't be alone on Christmas Day, but there are so many people who aren't in that situation. For example, I've got an aunt who normally spends Christmas with her sister. But sister lives some distance away and is in a bubble with her daughter who lives nearby. If she can't visit her, but also can't meet up with other family members or friends over the Christmas period - even if its only for a cup of tea on a one to one basis, then she's going to have a pretty grim Christmas.

Most Christmases it is just us and I love it. So that sways my thinking that you can still have an amazing Christmas with just your household. I haven't seen my mum for almost a year due to Covid so I know what it's like to miss extended family but my guess is most people complaining saw their mum a couple of weeks ago - so they'll survive.

I'd be happy to cancel the lot but with 'special dispensation' for those who are having their final Christmas.

Presume if you’ve got children, they’re still at home with you.
Mine are a bit older and have all just left home. I desperately want to see them.
This is a recurring theme with my friends

This is the demographic who desperately want christmas saved, they're also the age and demographic who overwhelmingly keep the conservative party in power, it's not surprising that it dominates the thoughts of a conservative government.

I want to see DS (at university currently) at Christmas time.

It is a WANT, not a NEED.

I NEED to ensure that my elderly parents are safe. I NEED to ensure that those in my household are as safe as possible (with all of us in education, with large or very large bubbles and without effective measures in place, we have a LOT of close contacts). I NEED to help to protect the NHS to care for those who are ill, whether with covid or other illnesses / injuries.

My WANTS don't trump those NEEDS.

I agree with a PP that if it was clear that one of my parents, for example, was known to be close to death, I think that is sufficient NEED to be able to see them for a last time - not because it is Christmas per se, but because as a teacher, I can only go in the holidays and the next one might be too late.