To wonder how many people truly want Christmas to be "saved"

[IrkedEssex]

I am no fan of lockdowns and would rather we were not locked down for Christmas. But I think it would be a crying shame if all the privations everyone has suffered are reduced in their efficacy due to a desire to "save" Christmas. Such a move might well involve stricter restrictions in the lead up or aftermath. I am also wondering how many people, in all honesty, absolutely love spending Christmas Day with family.

Most people I know find it at least as much duty as pleasure; traipsing half way across the country to crowd in with relatives, family arguments, restive children, huge expense yada yada yada. In my family it is the older generations who drive the togetherness aspect of it, but they then get the most tantrum-y and ill-tempered. Most people I know mainly love the lead up to Christmas with the fun and the parties and the decorations. Well, we can decorate to our hearts' content and there won't be fun and parties in December no matter which way you look at it. Gifts can be sent. So is it really worth fixating on Christmas togetherness? I'm totally prepared to be in the minority here; am genuinely interested in how others feel about this.

YABU - I and my family love to be together on Christmas Day and are desperate for it to be saved, even if it means stricter restrictions either side of the day itself.

YANBU - Christmas Day gatherings are mostly a hassle at the best of times and it is not worth prejudicing lockdown progress by lifting restrictions purely to save Christmas.

We don't see family on Christmas day because we don't get on, though we see them at other times of the year so makes no difference to us.

Christmas will still be Christmas on the 25th December no matter what.

I'm not bothered about the day itself. It's always me, DH, and DS anyway. But this is partly because both of our families are 200 miles away in different directions. I can't meet up with my mum for a walk, and we can't go up and stay nearby to see them outside. It is really difficult to think about not seeing them between now and Christmas.

I get you @IrkedEssex

Whilst some people do crave, and need company at Christmas, (because they are quite lonely,) surely a lot of other people can take this opportunity to have a chilled-out Christmas with just their partner/partner and kids? I'm a bit baffled as to why anyone would struggle to just spend time with their partner and children.

For many people, it will be a relief to not have to drive 100s of miles, or have people at their house 3-4 days or more, causing great stress and extra expense.

No parties, no meals out, seeing hardly any family. Is this really such a bad thing? Save buckets of money, and have less stress. And surely if you have a good, close relationship with your loved ones/parents/adult children etc, you see them fairly frequently during the year anyway? I have never 'got' this desperation to HAVE to spend Christmas day with other people. Nothing wrong with just saying at home alone with your immediate family. Will do a lot of people good IMO, and cause a LOT less stress.

My (adult) kids live 15 and 18 miles away from us (in another borough of the same county,) and we take it in turns to visit each other over the Christmas period. Not always Christmas day, sometimes a few days before.

They were meant to be coming here this year, (on 22nd December,) and hopefully they still can. We see each other fairly regularly during the year, so don't feel a desperate need to see them on Christmas day, although it is nice to see them Christmas day sometimes.

And at the moment, it's looking like we may not see them at all for the rest of this year, let alone for Christmas. (Hope I am wrong!) The best we can hope for is meeting halfway (in a public place, a little tiny market town halfway between us,) on a sunny mid December day, where we can swap gifts. Coz I REALLY don't want to post them all!

However, I would rather not see them til January, and just facetime them, and post the gifts, (or give them to them in January;) and have me and my other half (and everyone else possible) keep our jobs, and as many businesses as possible stay open.

I have heard several people say they don't give a shit what da roolz say, they will see their kids or grandkids anyway/see granny at Christmas anyway, as hell will freeze over before they don't see them Christmas day. 'It's a tradition ya know!'

It's people like this who are part of the reason for the covid crisis getting so bad. People who think the rules shouldn't apply to them.

And like many others, I enjoy the 3-4 weeks run-up to Christmas more than Christmas day/boxing day anyway.

Someone I know said the 'covid issue' has been a great excuse to not go to Church anymore, as they are bored stiff with it, and dislike some of the parishioners quite a lot. But that's for another discussion!

Wanted to add... I see my extended family fairly frequently too, throughout the year, so don't feel any desperate need to HAVE to see them on Christmas day. We usually see them 5 days to a week before, and go for a Christmas as meal at the pub.

Its a relief for me. We always travel a very long way and stay with family. DS6 has ASD and struggles a lot with it and makes us all suffer (unintentionally). It is the most exhausting time of the year normally and I go back to work totally burnt out. I had already resolved to myself that Christmas 2020 was cancelled, so it's a relief that its now out of my hands.

In the past I’ve always wanted to be just us - my mother was troubled an . My husbands family ok but not close . My mother passed not long ago though and my fathers alone - I really hope he will be able to be with us for Christmas .

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head, OP....and it’ll come back to bite Boris on the arse. I know there are some people for whom Christmas is all about seeing their Gran and Uncle Mike and nothing else....but I think for the majority (if they’re honest), it’s about parties, boozy lunches, shopping, going to the panto (or whatever is your particular bag). And all of that is going to be severely curtailed whatever.

In any case, we have tanked the economy. There are people whose businesses are destroyed as a result of these measures. It seems utterly crass to do that for the “sake of Christmas”, not least because a virus does not respect high days and holidays. People travelling across the country and mixing with others, especially elderly others, is simply pouring fuel on the fire....and is likely to lead to more economic damage come January, when there’s another massive spike in infections. (I’m not a big fan of lockdown - it’s a blunt and damaging tool - but if we are going down that route (which we are), then it seems utterly ludicrous to release restrictions “for” Christmas....

I would love to see my family at Christmas. But, I think we would just have a massive spike in January if the restrictions are lifted at Christmas

For me an important part of Christmas is the school plays, church services and other pre Christmas activities. These are not going to be saved come what may.

I wouldn't normally care about Christmas day itself but having lost both parents and DP in the last year I would like DD to spend her first Christmas without her Dad with my sister and her family. They are our support bubble but live some distance away. If travel out of your area is banned then DD and I will be in for a really shit Christmas.

I know it's for the greater good blah blah blah but frankly my concern at the moment is for her well being and if that makes me selfish and not thinking of others then so be it.

I agree with saving other people's lives, but to "save" Christmas is just bloody stupid.
Besides, I shall still decorate (already got decorations) and give presents, send cards and whatever else. The only thing different would be whether I had folks round for lunch or if I go to theirs, doesn't matter either way or not at all to me. So what's there to 'save' anyway?

I'm one of those who loves Christmas and I really want dd to come home from Uni for it. If she's allowed (and it looks like she will be) I am more than willing to become ill and even die, to have her here if it's where she wants to be too. And she can bring a friend too (we have capacity in our bubble). I'm sure that's horribly selfish.

OTOH, if it were not deemed safe, then it won't happen and we'll have Christmas another time. Quite happy to move it, or have it on our own without her

I just want to know what is going to be allowed. If that means a very different/restricted Christmas, we will cope - but the not knowing is stressing me out.

We have three adult sons - one living in Essex (we live near Glasgow) with his fiancée, a second living in the Scottish Borders - he has his own flat but is in a relationship bubble with his girlfriend, and No3 who is a student, living in Edinburgh with his girlfriend, in a private rented flat (so doesn’t have the risks of shared student accommodation).

Or ally all three boys would come home for Christmas, and this year, ds1’s fiancée was going to come too. We are assuming ds3 will be coming home - there is talk of students being offered rapid Corona virus tests, and as he is in a flat with just his girlfriend, doing all his work online, and not going out or socialising much, if at all, the risk from him coming home seems low.

Ds2 is from a very low COVID area, but he is a teacher, so is in school, with all his pupils, every day, and will not be breaking up until just before Christmas Eve. Currently the travel restrictions where we live mean he wouldn't be able to come home - but are those going to change? Who knows. If they don’t change, do we a) break the rules (something I’m not comfortable with) or b) tell him he can’t come?

Same goes for ds1 and his fiancée - current travel restrictions mean they wouldn’t be able to come - but if they can’t come here, they also can’t go to her family, because they have her other sibling and family visiting. They are going to want to have Christmas on their own sooner or later, but not forced on them by COVID.

Obviously, whichever of the boys are here will have their presents u Dee the tree (and I still do stockings for them - daft stuff like socks, boxers and hot chocolate with marshmallows etc) - and I have done a lot of the shopping already - I can’t get to the shops at the moment, so wanted to get things done online earlier than normal, in case delivery times were slow - but if any of them aren’t here, I’ll have to get stuff packed up and posted - which is fine - I’d just like to know I have to do it sooner not later, so I don’t end up scrambling at the last minute.

Just to complicate things, ds1’s fiancée is a pescatarian, so won’t be keen on roast goose for Christmas dinner - so I currently have two totally different plans - goose if they can’t come, salmon en croute if they do. I prefer being organised, and knowing what the plans are, well in advance, so the uncertainty is stressful.

I know everyone is in the same boat.

I'm going to be working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day anyway, so it won't really bother me, but I'd be concerned about my DM being on her own - lockdown season 1 really affected her.

I'd also worry about DP and DS being home on their own rather than with family.

Personally, I wouldn't be too bothered.

Are any of us actually planning to spend much on Christmas this year? We are going to either be made redundant or taxed up to our eyeballs. I don’t feel like welcoming in a new year that could potentially be a very devastating one for so many people.

So glad I get to stay at home this year because every single year I’m the one that has to travel.
Even if they do lift lockdown I might ‘develop’ a cough so best not to travel either way really.

Me, my kids, my sister and BIL always spend Xmas day with my parents and we all love it and look forward to it.

But as mum and dad are still being uber careful it wont be happening this year. It will be crap to be honest. And as the run up of parties, drinks out, seeing santa etc wont be happening, it doesnt really bother me whether we are locked down or not.

I think that we need to accept that whatever happens, Xmas this year is going to be shit and we just need to make the best of it.

Am guessing you are not an 18 year old uni student, away from home for the first time and being asked to spend Christmas alone in a bedsit then.
No, and overwhelmingly, that is not the experience of 18 yr old students. I am sorry if - for whatever reason - an 18 yr old has ended up in a bedsit, without friends, but that is the exception and not the rule.
Whatever is decided about anything, nationally, there will be exceptional cases, where what we are all being asked to do just doesn't work, but, as a whole cohort I think most young adults ought to be able to cope, making an adventure of it with their friends, and of course still able to 'be together' on video calls and the dozens of other social media they use FAR better than all the elderly folk who don't have the access to, or understanding of the technology. Who often live alone, or, if they live in a care home haven't been able to see their relatives since March in some cases.

Of course it isn't what I'd choose. I have 2 of my young adult dc living away from home at the moment, and I hope it will be safe, and possible for them to come home, but if it isn't, we'll all have to get on with life and the thread is asking if that one day is more important than doing our bit to keep everyone safe. My answer is still no.

@movingonup20
I'm guessing your adult child doesn't have mental health issues enough to be sectioned this year???

You guess right. I'm sorry that is the situation your family are in, but that would fall into the 'exceptional circumstances' mentioned above. Even during this lockdown period, people are allowed to travel, and are allowed to visit for 'carer' purposes. The question wasn't about that, it was about "everyone" having restrictions lifted so people can all meet together on this one day.

I’m prepared to do what is necessary, if it means a scaled back Christmas so be it. But my issue is that lockdowns do not solve a pandemic, yes hopefully there is a vaccine on the way but the government should be following the example of countries who have faired better during this pandemic. They’ve invested in Track, Trace, Isolate and high restrictions on travel in and out of their countries. Saved lives and reduced the impact on their economy by doing this. To me these two things are more important than Christmas.

I'm guessing your adult child doesn't have mental health issues enough to be sectioned this year??? Just because they are over 18 we as parents are banned from seeing them yet 20 months younger and they could be passed between parents. My dd is really struggling, I'm not sure she would survive Christmas stuck at university, I'm not joking. I'm fetching her on the 6th December come what may*

Your DD's MH issues mean she is classed as a vulnerable person. There is (and always has been) an exemption in the lockdown rules that allows you to travel and mix households to provide care or support for a vulnerable person.

I love Xmas and enjoy time with my family. Il be seeing them xmas if lockdown is on or not to be honest

I plan to spend roughly the same amount as last year too.

I have a backbone and every year we do what we like as a family and see other family members before or after Christmas, it's astounding the amount of people that seem glad of a pandemic because they finally have a reason to not do something that they don't want to do

It’s a really difficult one but ultimately we have to do the right thing for everyone, and if that means that we have to have a different Christmas this year then so be it.
I was really looking forward to spending Christmas with family this year. I’m a nurse and normally work it every year, but I’m on maternity leave. My family don’t live near me so we were going to have a mini holiday with them. I had my baby in the first lockdown and they’ve only seen him twice 🙁 so it will be really disappointing for me if this doesn’t happen.
But the one thing I keep telling myself is that I want my parents to be healthy and alive next Christmas when hopefully things will be a lot better. Why risk taking them a potentially deadly disease just for the sake of eating turkey together and pulling a cracker. Having them in my life every other day is far more important.

I think people just want their normal life back rather than Christmas specifically.... but Christmas has given some people something to look forward to and a hope of normality. I fear we’ll be disappointed as there will still be restrictions in place. I do resent the government for using Christmas as a stick to beat the public with.