To wonder how many people truly want Christmas to be "saved"

[IrkedEssex]

I am no fan of lockdowns and would rather we were not locked down for Christmas. But I think it would be a crying shame if all the privations everyone has suffered are reduced in their efficacy due to a desire to "save" Christmas. Such a move might well involve stricter restrictions in the lead up or aftermath. I am also wondering how many people, in all honesty, absolutely love spending Christmas Day with family.

Most people I know find it at least as much duty as pleasure; traipsing half way across the country to crowd in with relatives, family arguments, restive children, huge expense yada yada yada. In my family it is the older generations who drive the togetherness aspect of it, but they then get the most tantrum-y and ill-tempered. Most people I know mainly love the lead up to Christmas with the fun and the parties and the decorations. Well, we can decorate to our hearts' content and there won't be fun and parties in December no matter which way you look at it. Gifts can be sent. So is it really worth fixating on Christmas togetherness? I'm totally prepared to be in the minority here; am genuinely interested in how others feel about this.

YABU - I and my family love to be together on Christmas Day and are desperate for it to be saved, even if it means stricter restrictions either side of the day itself.

YANBU - Christmas Day gatherings are mostly a hassle at the best of times and it is not worth prejudicing lockdown progress by lifting restrictions purely to save Christmas.

I desperately want to be able to spend Christmas with my parents but whether it's a good idea or not is a different matter. There's no point saving Christmas if we're going to be royally fucked afterwards.

With 500 dead a day seems like a terrible idea 🤷‍♀️

@winniemum

Presume if you’ve got children, they’re still at home with you. Mine are a bit older and have all just left home. I desperately want to see them. This is a recurring theme with my friends. Lockdown fine if you live with your kids. Lockdown is awful if you get on with your kids but live apart.

Exactly! I only ever see all of my adult children together at Christmas, they live between 4 & 6 hours away from me in different cities. I’ve not seen any of them since the summer. We will be meeting up somewhere, somehow.

I think I, like a lot of people, fall somewhere between your YABU and YANBU options. I love Christmas and do not see it as a hassle. I live hundreds of miles from all of my extended family and Christmas is one of the few times I see them. I would love the restrictions to be lifted in time for Christmas, but only if the numbers add up.

I am soooo looking forward to spend christmas at home without any travelling to relatives, overcooked food and a big fight between my parents.

Christmas Day itself won’t be any different.

But between Christmas and New Year we travel down to see my mum and dad and also my sister and her family. Have seen my mum and dad twice in the past 12 months and haven’t seen my sister and her family at all since last Christmas. So for us it isn’t just a day - it’s part of Christmas and a time when we see them. DS (17) and DD (15) feel like it will be weird without that trip which we’ve been doing the last 10 years and I agree.

For me, family is everything at Christmas. And never more so than this year, because our first baby is due in a month. I’m really sad about the prospect of missing out on a family Christmas with the baby.

I'd love to spend Christmas with just my husband. Our families are both stressy.

Not me, even without Covid I am in no mood to celebrate just as we plunge into the lake or sewage that is Brexit.

DH and I are convinced that there’s a silent majority hoping for Christmas restrictions that mean they don’t have to spend it with the family. Or the in-laws.

They’re keeping quiet so as not to be vilified. But there are definitely loads of them. Like those silent tories in that general election.

He’s convinced most men are really hoping for a Christmas without their wife’s family.

I genuinely, genuinely love spending Christmas with family - we alternate between my parents, sister + BiL and then spend the other years with DH’s mum, aunty, cousin and cousin’s husband. This is DD’s first Christmas so we will be 7 people at either household. We have elected to self isolate from the 10th in order to confidently spend Xmas day together, so even if we’re back to the rule of 6 I will be breaking it - I’m sorry but after a 14 day total isolation I refuse to accept there’s any risk (and frankly person 7 is 4 month old DD who hasn’t been anywhere without me since the day she was conceived!)

As someone who spends every Christmas on my own I have absolutely no interest in 'saving Christmas', but I suspect that I'm in a minority.

I think it's more important to save lives and attempt to get back some normality.

Worrying about whether people are going to be able to see auntie Jean on Christmas day doesn't actually seem that important in the scheme of things tbh.

Save Christmas and then a month down the line we'll all be back in lockdown again because, given a bit of freedom, a lot of people seem to get a bit silly and throw caution to the wind.

If that happens poor old auntie Jean might actually be dead a few weeks after New Year.

Neither, I can't answer either way.

I think there is a big difference between traipsing half-way across the country, or having a gathering of 25, and people being left alone or not able to see even close relatives who live nearby. International travel should be rarer and it probably should be the case that when someone chooses to move internationally, or especially overseas, that they realise visits will be infrequent right from the get-go, and make their decision with that in mind.

In general I think we'd be much better off it Christmas involved significantly less consumerism attached to it. Which would mean a shift in shopping and where many businesses make their money. In fact I'd say this is going to be an essential change that has to happen, as consumerism is not environmentally sustainable.

But now seems like a hard time to ask businesses to make that shift on a dime, when they are already in dire straits. Although if people looked at fewer, perhaps better quality, locally made things, that might be good overall.

But in any case - I don't think people will continue to accept significant restrictions to things like visiting parents or their kids within their own country. Whatever rules the government puts in place.

I think the other issue is, it's pretty clear that even if there are restrictions, they will only put off the same thing happening down the road a short way.
So it's not like they are saying, ok, be good for Christmas and then things will go back to normal more quickly. Because they won't.

YABU but mumsnet is full of misanthropes so no doubt the majority will vote otherwise

When we had DS, we declared that from then on, we would have Christmas in our own home. We would welcome as many as would like to come to us, but would not travel - just didn't want to get into the whole 'this year we go to your parents; next year we go to your parents' thing.

We have celebrated Christmas with anything between 0 and 7 visitors ever since. This year we will have 0, which is absolutely fine ,. I am hoping DS - university student - will make it home, but if he deems it not safe to do so, or risks him becoming stuck in 'the wrong place' for another national or regional lockdown, then we will manage without him.

The day we are allowed to be together as a family again - including my very elderly parents, who live in Wales so are extremely strictly locked down in terms of travel and are anyway highly vulnerable [almost all of us either work in education or are in education, so the number of possible contacts each of us in the extended family has is between 30 and 750] - will FEEL like Christmas, whenever it falls in actual date.

I think we need to see the bigger picture. I will miss my family if we don’t have a big day but it’s much more important to get the economy going and being able to shop/ eat out before and after Christmas than just the one day.

The irony of “saving” a religious festival focused around the birth of a child who came to save mankind.

I love Christmas. Love spending it with family, even though it causes stress. However other religious festivals have been cancelled this year for the greater good. Eid at a few hours notice I believe, after everyone had bought food and made plans.

Why does Christmas get special treatment? Those who are religious will celebrate it in their own way. Those who miss family (myself included) can celebrate with them later. Rubbish but that’s life in a pandemic.

To be honest, my dad's family live dotted all over the country, my mum doesn't get on with her brother's wife so we can't see them anymore .. so Christmas Day has been me and my brother, my mum and dad, and my mum's parents .. for as long as I can remember.

My parents split up in 2014 and they still insist on spending Christmas together as a family, which made it feel weird as fuck for me, so it just doesn't feel like Christmas whatsoever.

I would be happy if it was just me and DP and I can go and drop presents off a few days before (so they can leave them for a bit in case there's germs on them haha).

I think a lot of people keep up Christmas traditions simply because it's what they've always done, and don't think about the fact that there might be another way to spend it that fits better with changing times - i.e. adult children moving out and having their own children.

YANBU. I'm the one that normally ends up responsible for hosting 10-16 family members, so I can't deny I'm quite looking forward to just cooking a normal size meal. However, I do really want my parents to be here (making it 6) as my dm is unwell and may not be here next year. I've got to weigh up the covid risk to her as well as following any "rules".

I don't feel we are a big risk as the four of us in this house all WFH, only place we go is food shopping at the moment.

Not looking forward to Christmas without our family with us. I love hosting everyone for Christmas week but this year they aren’t going to be able to get flights to come and see us. Instead of 16 of the family staying with us, there will only be DH, DS and I. First year with DD not being able to travel to the U.K. to see us.

My eldest dc lives away with his partner. I desperately want them to be able to come for Xmas. In fact that’s all I want for Xmas. Normally my mum would come too, but after a year of worsening health she’s in a nursing hone with my dad and they’re not having visitors this year Xmas day so it’s already going to be a sad one for me this year. Don’t care about any other big family events or going out celebrating or anything we usually do. Just want all our kids here

I'm in a similar situation to @WitchesSpelleas - elderly parents, and neither them nor me are comfortable travelling that far on public transport during a pandemic.

But I'll probably decorate, play carols, and eat fancy food, and try and ignore this weird assumption that dropping the restrictions will somehow "save" Christmas for everyone. It's going to be far more complicated than that for many people.

I'm another one who loves the Christmas season. Markets, work dos, carols, ice skating, visiting Santa etc etc. We have loads of traditions we do throughout December. None will be happening this year, so it's already ruined for us. I can take or leave actual Christmas day (I don't enjoy presents really).

@Gremlinpoop

Love the run up or school plays, ice skating , Christmas shopping, trip to Santa etc none of which can happen this year. So it may as well stay locked down as I hate the duty day with in law's we only see at Christmas with forced politeness etc. I am actually hoping I can avoid it this year. Will be pissed off if I miss all the nice pre Christmas stuff but still forced to spend a day with MIL.

Exactly this! I think we could easily end up with a Christmas that is the worst of all worlds.