To ask how did you catch your partner cheating?

[pieinthesky76]

I've been cheated on twice (that I know of) and the worst one.. he had logged into Facebook on my work laptop that we often used at home.

I was presenting and connected my laptop to a projector only for his Facebook to pop up with their entire sordid chat. This was before messenger was a separate app.

I also forgave the idiot for some reason.

Can anyone beat that?

we'd had an argument and i slept in the spare room. woke at 3am and decided to go in and make up with him. he wasn't in our bed so i went to the box room... there he was, butt naked, wanking to a bunch of teenage girls over webcam. he tried to pull a blanket over himself and insisted it was nothing, i stormed into our room and kneeled down at the wardrobe and started packing some clothes. he came up behind me and kicked me in the back.

that was one of many times, including calling me his ex's name, MSN messages with another girl, texting another girl who lived half an hour from where we were holidaying (he wishes he was going to see her), calling in sick to work so he could go and meet another girl halfway up the country, kissing his sister's friend on a night out (when i'd gone to the loo) for old times sake... i found that out by his sister scrolling through pics with me and she'd taken it. she didn't understand why i was upset and told me it was just for fun... don't even ask why i stayed. i was absolutely beaten down from his shit and thought i deserved it, so i forgave him. i just regret giving him 9 years of my life.

@SentientAndCognisant
I mean, they were obviously things I'd rather have not seen and her going into detail about how she "gave him a fantastic blow job and didn't get anything in return"

But at least I saw them and got out ... got left with a treatable STI and his child but I guess it could have been worse!

During an argument he told me he’d got more attention from the barmaid from the pub he’d been in last night than he had from me all week. Cue a couple weeks later she appeared on his insta which I ignored as I knew something was going on and started to stalk her public insta. On his birthday weekend where he’d told me he was unwell...she posted a load of photos of being at his house. It was a relief tbh. He still tries to keep in touch, had a baby with someone I know and cheated on her the whole time she was pregnant. I had a lucky escape!

@PandaBabyJuly he sounds truly ghastly. I hope you and your child are ok

There'd been other "incidents" which (foolishly) I tried to get past, but then the bank messaged to say the bills account was overdrawn, which was impossible on the basis of expected bills and what was being paid in

Turned out he was being blackmailed by a prostitute; worse still, he'd been using them since his teens and all through 30 plus years of marriage

He brought her back to our flat while I was in bed and proceeded to snog and grope her under a duvet in front of another friend of ours.

Not exactly sure how he thought he'd get away with that.

He used the joint account to pay for a prostitute at a brothel (not uk)

We'd been married for 9 months, moved to another country for his work 5 months previously this point and dd was 3 months old.

I didn't feel like I could leave. Divorced him now though

Prison sent me the visiting order for the OW.

Suddenly I knew why he never seemed to have enough money to phone me and why he had so few visiting slots.

Bastard.

I guessed! Well - had that awful gut feeling, went on his facebook and saw a girl he had never mentioned liking all his pics, the two of them tagged at parties. He had never mentioned her name once.
On impulse I rang him at work and said "I know you've been fucking *sharon"
He went silent for about 3 seconds and I knew I was right.
I hung up and cut the plus off all his electronics, moved out the next day with the dog .

*name change - no offence to any Sharon's

4 weeks after having my youngest, there was a knock at door , another woman with a baby, turns out ex had been living two lives and mugged us both off.

Not my story - years ago - before mobile phones - a colleague had a call at work to say her DF had suffered a heart attack and was in hospital. She collected her DM and went to see him. When they got to the hospital, they was another woman and a couple of DC sat around his bed. They turned out to be his second family. Neither of the two women knew each other. They both thought they were is wife.

He told me after coming back from a night out where he got a blow job down a back alley from a teenager. Bastard.

On the bright side - nearly 2 years on and I'm happier than I've ever been, I left him, moved back to my hometown with the kids and as hard as single parenthood is, I am now only raising 2 children not 3 (ex was useless and made life harder) and I get a break EOW and in school holidays.

Many moons ago. Early twenties and living in London. Deeply in love and with DP who desperately wanted us to have a child. Hence stupidly not using contraception even though we had no money and only I worked.

I visited family up north at Christmas as planned but came back early. All fine. In bed that night with DP, in complete darkness, and I suddenly woke up and just knew to feel under the bed in the dark. Immediately found a box of condoms. Put the light on to see about four had been used.

I'll never forget that ice cold fear that came over me. I was totally crushed. Confronted him and it was like watching someone change character before me. He shrugged and told me to fuck off.

Thank god I hadn't got pregnant. Grew up pretty quickly after that.

These stories are just shocking!

Im genuinely shocked by these posts

When he picked me up in the car, there were lovebites on his neck....

My boyfriend Ex contacted me and told me they had been seeing each other behind my back.

I told my boyfriend about it who denied it.

I asked to meet her so we could talk about it and she could show me her proof.

I told my boyfriend I was going to meet her, he said he couldn’t believe I didn’t trust him and that I was wasting my time as she was just bitter and lying.

Just before I got on the train to go and meet her, I rang my boyfriend from the train station and said if he had anything to tell me now was the time. He said no.

I went to meet her and surprise, surprise, he was cheating.

So cliche.

Long term affair which he wouldn't admit to [ married 20 years ]. Told me I was stupid and paranoid for thinking he would do that! This was all pre facebook or texts [ yes there was a time before these :) ] . I then found photos of them together enjoying days out etc [he stupidly left them in his drawer ], so no going back then.

Not me, but someone I know sussed it out when she realised that her friend's toddler was the dead spit of her DP at the same age.

She confronted him, and he fessed up that the child was his.

@MayTheLordOpen

I found his home made dvd of him and her...

Omg!!!!

Back in 2010 I was living in the US. Had moved there 7 years earlier to be with my now ex when I was 18. Given up everything, family, friends, career, and moved halfway around the world. Not at all still bitter.....

I was flying home to visit my family, he dropped me off at the airport in MY car. I landed in Bristol Airport 12 or so hours later, wasn't even through passport control when I checked my voicemail - he'd been arrested and needed my help. Managed to get hold of him, he's in tears saying he stopped for a beer on the way home from dropping me off at the airport and got pulled over for a DUI. I needed someone to bail him out, by this point he's sobbing and as angry as I was about him being arrested I actually felt bad for him.

I go straight through to check in, buy another ticket, and back I go on the same damn plane I just got off. Don't ask me why - I was stupid and thought he needed my help.

Get back to the US, go to the jail to bail him out, find out that he wasn't alone and that wasn't the whole story, but the short version was his OW was in the car with him when he was pulled over.

I never saw him again. I packed what I could into a suitcase and came back for good. He did briefly try to reconnect with me earlier this year to apologise (only took nearly 10 years to feel remorseful) but turns out he got married to someone less than a year after I left (not the same one he was with the night he got arrested) so no idea if there was another one on the go too.

I still feel such a fool all these years on and haven't really let anyone else get close enough :(

@thetaleunfolds

Back in 2010 I was living in the US. Had moved there 7 years earlier to be with my now ex when I was 18. Given up everything, family, friends, career, and moved halfway around the world. Not at all still bitter.....

I was flying home to visit my family, he dropped me off at the airport in MY car. I landed in Bristol Airport 12 or so hours later, wasn't even through passport control when I checked my voicemail - he'd been arrested and needed my help. Managed to get hold of him, he's in tears saying he stopped for a beer on the way home from dropping me off at the airport and got pulled over for a DUI. I needed someone to bail him out, by this point he's sobbing and as angry as I was about him being arrested I actually felt bad for him.

I go straight through to check in, buy another ticket, and back I go on the same damn plane I just got off. Don't ask me why - I was stupid and thought he needed my help.

Get back to the US, go to the jail to bail him out, find out that he wasn't alone and that wasn't the whole story, but the short version was his OW was in the car with him when he was pulled over.

I never saw him again. I packed what I could into a suitcase and came back for good. He did briefly try to reconnect with me earlier this year to apologise (only took nearly 10 years to feel remorseful) but turns out he got married to someone less than a year after I left (not the same one he was with the night he got arrested) so no idea if there was another one on the go too.

I still feel such a fool all these years on and haven't really let anyone else get close enough :(

Please don’t let him steal more years from you. Find a way to put that awful experience behind you, seek counselling if you need it and know it wasn’t your fault, you weren’t a fool.

I found birthday and christmas cards hidden in our house from the OW with cheesy poems/love letters written in them (you know the kind of things written by love struck 15 year olds). That finished my marriage and my friendships (with the ow and about 50 other people) in one fell swoop.

@1DoesNotSimplyWalkIntoMordor

I found birthday and christmas cards hidden in our house from the OW with cheesy poems/love letters written in them (you know the kind of things written by love struck 15 year olds). That finished my marriage and my friendships (with the ow and about 50 other people) in one fell swoop.

If you don't mind me asking, how has this changed you and your life? I'd imagine you've been sent down an unexpected path. How has that been?