To ask how did you catch your partner cheating?

[pieinthesky76]

I've been cheated on twice (that I know of) and the worst one.. he had logged into Facebook on my work laptop that we often used at home.

I was presenting and connected my laptop to a projector only for his Facebook to pop up with their entire sordid chat. This was before messenger was a separate app.

I also forgave the idiot for some reason.

Can anyone beat that?

Was asked if I would put his trousers in the wash.....which contained the secret phone he accidentally brought home instead of leaving it at work like he had clearly been doing for the previous 6 or 7 months.

Wasnt even password protected, fucking idiot.

I posted one of the photos she had sent him on a no strings site with her phone number after she told me that she was just after a bit of fun and I should chill out.

Police had a word with me as she had had to change her number and it was the main number for her business.

TOTALLY worth it!

@PyongyangKipperbang

Was asked if I would put his trousers in the wash.....which contained the secret phone he accidentally brought home instead of leaving it at work like he had clearly been doing for the previous 6 or 7 months.

Wasnt even password protected, fucking idiot.

I posted one of the photos she had sent him on a no strings site with her phone number after she told me that she was just after a bit of fun and I should chill out.

Police had a word with me as she had had to change her number and it was the main number for her business.

TOTALLY worth it!

Brilliant

Sooooo long ago, but worth telling. I was 19, we’d been together 3 years.

I organised my uni boyfriend’s 21st party (together with his mum). He had no choice but to give me the contact details for all his uni friends group so I could invite them.

Party went very well, until I gave a speech about him. Lots of strange expressions on the uni friends’ faces, especially one girl’s face.

She rang me the next week and told me she’d been his girlfriend for 18 months! I eventually asked her why she hadn’t come up to me at the party- she said he convinced her I was a delusional stalker who had made up everything in the speech (yeah, stood right beside his parents?!).

It was amazing he got away with it for so long, he must have thought he had magical powers. We both visited him at his house several times a week, he never hid calls or answer-phone messages. He had 3 casual jobs, so it was never strange that, say, Valentine’s dinner was delayed a couple of days (for one of us!).

He was no looker, nothing special in any way. Just a normal guy, with two exceptional, intelligent, lovely women as full-time girlfriends. And a whole lot of luck.

We both dumped him the day we finally spoke, and slowly became very good mates! I was her bridesmaid 3 years later...

So many ways! First time i realised he was getting phone calls and leaving the room so i dug out his mum's phone bills (this was the 90s and yes i should not have gone through his mum's phone bills) and just called a few numbers asking to speak to him. Lo and behold one number was a woman who said no he doesn't live here but in a way where it was obvious she knew him. Another time I found a receipt for Boots in south London when he was supposed to be at work somewhere else. Another time i guessed his face book password. All the same man, now fool me!

@Pebbledashery..Love that !

I caught him with the phone in his hand that I immediately knew was a second secret phone. Demanded it and thought I would see porn which I despise.
Shocked to see evidence of an long distance emotional affair. Went through it more thoroughly a week later and realised that he had been on dating sites , including gay ones.

@Stillfunny haha I know.. I felt amazing afterwards. Pity I gave the toad another chance. Some men aren't capable of being faithful it's in their DNA.
Your one sounds just as colourful 😳.. The length of it to have a second phone!!

Pre internet and Facebook days. I was about to put my EX husband's shirt in the wash a couple of days after Xmas and a receipt fell out of the pocket for an item of jewellery. I was soooo excited as I thought it was meant for me. I then opened a can of worms. I loved him so much (he was my childhood sweetheart) . I am very happy now but I will never forget the hurt.

@fliss444 ohh that's like a love actually moment 😢

@Girlzroolz lovely end to a truly story

[quote Pebbledashery]@fliss444 ohh that's like a love actually moment 😢[/quote]
@Pebbledashery yes it was like that. It was a long time ago. You live and learn and it took me many years to come to terms with it but I am now happy with my 2nd husband . For anyone out there who is going through horrible after effects from a gut wrenching time - don't despair. Time heals xx

@fliss444 I'm glad you've found happiness.
I hope my ex never finds happiness 😂

Mine was hard because ex was a computer scientist and knew how to cover his tracks. I’d suspected for a long while but he gaslit me and guarded his phone so I could never get a chance to look. In the end, it was pure stupidity (on his part) that caught him out. His idiot mates came over and he decided to smoke weed. He was so stoned, he passed out on the sofa. I used his finger to open his phone and spent hours emailing myself pages of chats and Facebook messages. Took loads of screenshots. Not proud of it but I sent them to both his family WhatsApp group and his friends one. He woke up to his phone blowing up and the look on his face was the most satisfying thing to happen to me.

First boyfriend (I was 18) was having a bath and his phone was buzzing away in his bedroom. Picked it up to take to him and caught sight of the words "can't wait for our sex" and "are you with her?"
Took him back like an idiot but developed a very unhealthy habit of sneaking off with his phone to read his messages and low and behold he cheated on me twice more before I got a grip and left him!

@brittanyfairies

My XH after 17 years of marriage and 20 years together blocked me on Facebook and then changed his relationship status to is in a relationship with OW

He forgot to block my sister's partner and my oldest friend who both called me up to ask what was going on. He said nothing until I confronted him.

Fucking hell.

Then what happened??

I genuinely don’t have any idea how this happened but I logged into our shared desk top computer one afternoon and immediately there was a pop-up box that said something like ‘[email protected] you have 4 unread messages’. No idea how or why it was set to notifications like that but it was obviously an error he’d made when setting up his dodgy account and it came up when he was out of the house. Lucky for me really, or he might have fixed it and I’d have never known. Inside that email account were registrations to sex hookup websites and hundreds of messages to god knows how many women. I slung him out when he got home from work and he didn’t know what had hit him.

A text to Ex-DHs phone, he was wasted, never could hold his drink and was a power chucker 🤮. I was helping him to bed when his phone fell into the sick bucket I put beside the bed, as I picked it up a text came through. I saw the first few words making reference to me and opened it. Well let’s say he was rudely awakened by the first thing I could get my hands on, which was the tv in the bedroom as I pulled it out and threw it at his pathetic drunk ass!

He phoned her from the hospital while we were visiting my Grandmother. He didn't know I was standing behind him. I took him back like the stupid lonely soul I was.

I found his home made dvd of him and her...

God these are awful.

An ex of mine badly gaslit me. The red flags were:
Spending ages messaging on his phone
Working very late regularly
Sometimes not coming home at all because he’s stayed with a “mate” after a night out
Coming home with some sparky eyeshadow on his face
Very long hairs appearing in the washing (longer than mine).
And I found a bus ticket for a day he was supposed to be at work for a route in a totally opposite direction. (He was banned from driving after being caught drunk driving)

But obviously I was just being “mental” when I asked him about these things.

It wasn’t until I checked his phone and found messages that he would actually admit it and leave. I don’t know why he couldn’t have been a man and split up with me when he’d started shagging her. He’d obviously checked out months ago.

He married her and they are messily divorced now. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer pair!

Early 20s, uni boyfriend, he was working away and behaving oddly so I logged in to his emails. He was seeing a new colleague, I confronted him and we were over. Imagine my satisfaction when we met up a couple of years later and he told me she had ended up being an obsessive nightmare for him, he actually apologised and said what a great girlfriend I had been and he hadn't appreciated it (both very happily settled at this point so wasn't trying to get me back or anything, mutual friend confirmed this was all true)

@Batfinklestein are you sure you weren't with my ex?? After I confronted my ex he proceeded to delete all of the messages and made out like I had made the entire thing up.

H of 15 years, together for 22, 3 DC together, one with SN. He’d become first distant and then quite nasty to me and protective of his phone, set a new password for it. I confronted him and he denied anything was happening except he was feeling unhappy with our relationship. I knew something more than that was up. I convinced him to change his password to something I knew. Then he forgot his phone one morning and I found a secret email account he had deactivated on it full of messages and assignations with an OW.

He left that day, and they’ve now been together quite happily for 9 years, married for 7. Karma doesn’t seem to be doing its thing.

His other girlfriend who had been in residence a while before me it seems rang me up because she had rumbled him. He also gave me chlamydia when I got checked out.

Long distance partner of 6 years, making plans for me to move to his rural town but I had suspicions. At his house one night and he popped out to drop his son’s winter coat to his mum’s house.

He had a big pile of receipts ready to expense and something just told me to look at them. Found one for a bar from my city that I’d never been to. Checked our WhatsApp message thread and he’d told me he was in his house playing xbox that night.

Confronted him by saying ‘we both know you’ve been lying to me’ and he was too stupid to try and found out what I knew and told me he’d made a drunken mistake and slept with someone else on an entirely different date, a month before the dodgy receipt.

Long story short, multiple women, multiple occasions.

18 years ago, lived with my boyfriend. new girl started at his work and he developed a large dose of mentionitis. swore there was nothing between them. then one day we were in the car and i borrowed his phone to send a text. first message was photos he had taken of his penis, in the work toilets, and sent to her, asking if she wanted to come and sit on it. not envy.

stupid me, "accepted" his excuse that it was banter and it was relating to something they had discussed in work and wasnt a sexual invitation but a joke about how uncomfortable her chair was. he promised he wouldnt sit next to her anymore and would avoid her as i felt this "banter" was unacceptable. only left him when i saw the christmas party photos 6 months later and he was next to her at the meal and then dancing with her all night.

as far as im aware after i left him he never got with her. infact he met a different girl 6 months later and went on to marry and have kids with her. yet i get drunk "remember when we..." messages every time he knows im back in his town . not envy and ive never taken him up on them