To ask how did you catch your partner cheating?

[pieinthesky76]

I've been cheated on twice (that I know of) and the worst one.. he had logged into Facebook on my work laptop that we often used at home.

I was presenting and connected my laptop to a projector only for his Facebook to pop up with their entire sordid chat. This was before messenger was a separate app.

I also forgave the idiot for some reason.

Can anyone beat that?

It was a combination of the OW leaving her knickers under the passenger seat in our family car and her posting on our local community FB groups about miscarriage support when her profile picture was of her and my husband.
He left me for her 11 days ago.

@BunnyBoilerRhian, oh my that's effing awful, I'm so sorry . I do think that it already sounds f*cked up - leaving underwear and profile pics of someone else's DH .

@BunnyBoilerRhian, Christ 11days that’s so very recently.Are you getting support from mates etc to talk,cry, try make sense
I just want to acknowledge how utterly dreadful these men were to you all. Some hilarious revenge enacted too

My dad told me my whole family had been sent pictures of his "ahem" intimate parts. 10 weeks pregnant and thankfully now free of that!

I was in college and he was in another state in the military so we'd had a LDR for about 2 years. I sent him a card for his birthday and never heard back from him but the card was returned to me. I panicked and called his mother who I thought I had a great relationship with. She was very dodgy and was acting weird telling me that I needed to talk to him but wouldn't give me his contact info (this was before cell phones). I finally tracked him down, called him and he dropped the bomb that he had gottten married!!!!! I was in shock as we'd been engaged for two years. I was deviated and heartbroken for many years afterwards. Actually I don't think I have ever fully gotten over it.

The second time I was cheated on was with the only other guy I've fallen in love with after my ex fiancé cheated on me. We met online dated in person for about two years then he moved for a job opp across the country.

Well before he left he lived with me for about 4 months and I had put his cell phone on my bill as he had been unemployed for over a year. Occasionally mail was sent to my house and I found out he was paying for a dating site. I had also caught him on a dating site before he moved in with me but he told me that a friend saw his profile was still up and he was just out there taking it down. In hindsight I remember him stuttering around with that reply and I know he was lying.

Anyway I confronted him and he acted surprised and shocked and said it must be a mistake because "he'd cancelled it when we met". Again I believed him but in hindsight he wasn't making much money at all so I would think he would know where every cent of his money was going. But I let it go. We talked every day and I really didn't think he would do something like that. Plus we used to have a check in convo every couple of months to see how we were feeling about the long distance. We both made these open non judgmental convos. So he never said he couldn't do it anymore.

So I went to visit him for my birthday and on my very last night there he came home from work (he worked nights) and instead of coming to bed to be with me he stood outside talking on the phone. I thought that was odd, as I was leaving in a few hours with no idea when we would see each other again.

About a month later something kept niggling at the back of my mind and I decided to search his dating site username (he always used the same name) and was blown away. He was on at least 15 dating sites and active on all of them. I stood up for hours searching and searching til the middle of the night. Then I find out he was overly flirty and acting single on another social media site while he was living with me. The final straw was when I checked the phone records and saw that he exchanged 100s of text with one number every month and spent hours and hours talking to this person during work hours when he told me that he couldn't take personal calls at work. So I called the number and let the women know what was going on, and she was shocked as of course she knew nothing about me. Then I blew up his phone for hours until he answered and he had to admit he cheated - he had no choice cause I sent him dozens of screenshots of all his dating profiles. But the kicker is that when I told him I called his new love interest he wailed "Ohhhhh nooooo" ... the prick was more upset about her than what he did to me and my pain.

Sorry that was sooooo long. I've been cheated on with by others but I didn't love them so they don't count. 😂

He told me he was shagging the receptionist where he worked, the day after our son was born. He had gone to work on the friday, didn't come home, I was 9 months pregnant and not going to stay alone so went to my parents, no word from him, I rang his favourite local pub on the sunday and was told he was there but I didn't speak to him (all before mobile phones,almost 29 years ago),went into labour on the Thursday, son born, mother with me which was wonderful, she rang his job and he arrived to the hospital,next day he told me he had cheated. We split up but got back together 6 weeks later, it was on and off for over a year until I gained the strength to get rid of him. Raised my wonderful son with my family. We were both only 20 years old and he took almost another 20 years and at least two more abandoned children before he matured (he died years ago when my son was still a teenager), luckily one of us was fit to be a parent.

These are so horrible. You’re all amazing for managing to get over it, even if you haven’t really.

My second ever boyfriend I was totally infatuated with, he split up (well, he dumped me) and he started seeing someone else. Well, he carried on I should say . A few months later, we got back together, had another year or so together and then he started acting the same - just generally being a dickhead to me for no reason. I was very mature and instigated the convo where I said I could tell he wasn’t happy, where did we go from here - and he dumped me. I was devastated. Then spent the worst few weeks of my life as I met up with mutual friends who told me he’d been cheating but they hadn’t wanted to tell me, which was so humiliating.

It honestly took me years to get over him. He really shaped all my future relationships, the cheating wasn’t the worst he was just generally a self-important spoilt brat.

My ex had 3 mobile phones!
He was having a midlife crisis so disappeared every weekend to get some’space’ came home literally shagged out!
Looking on find my phone, he wasn’t visiting family but parked at an airport hotel.
Plus others that I can’t put on here.
Nobody believes it as he’s such a wonderful man! Yeah right

He borrowed my spare phone; we had an argument and I asked for it back straight away - he took his sim out not realising messages stored on the phone .... I put my sim in and saw the sordid messages outlining him having sex in a garage lock up with her

Changes in behaviour made me suspicious including him turning into supposedly "worlds greatest employee" having been the entire time I knew him a clock watcher and "that's not my job" employee

Improving appearance in particular ways, showering "at the gym" when he'd previously had no problem coming home sweaty and stinking... usual cheater bollocks

Then I went on home computer and he'd left himself logged into email without realising and there were some dubious but explainable emails, then I started checking his phone (which he had become more attached to) and eventually found texts that were very much unambiguous

Was advised by relative to keep quiet and gather more evidence which I did, but I stopped having sex with him and claimed tiredness/thrush etc

He was sent on a work training course which was meant to be mon-fri but then he called on the Friday and Gave an excuse and said he was staying there the weekend.

Went and checked emails again (had worked out his password) and there was the booking for a double room for that weekend made months earlier.

Called the hotel and asked to be put through to his room and she answered.

She was a neighbour and supposedly also my friend so I recognised the voice immediately.

Shit hits fan, kicked him out...

Despite ALL that and her pregnancy (she would have conceived approx 2 months before hotel weekend) he STILL denied for YEARS even to the point of claiming the baby was premature despite a healthy full term weight and baby and mum discharged from hospital day of birth

Cheaters so often are insultingly stupid and treat us as if we're stupid!

We were 10 years married 13 years together

Police had a word with me as she had had to change her number and it was the main number for her business.

TOTALLY worth it!

I know I shouldn't.m but hell yes!

In my case doing nothing gave me some satisfaction...

He propositioned me day before their wedding by text. He could see I'd received/read it, but I didn't reply referring to it at all. Only to discuss dd attending wedding and arrangements.

I could have landed him right in it. Instead I did and said...nothing

I have it on very good authority (not dd) that he spent their wedding day and honeymoon and some time beyond SHITTING himself in case I told her! 

We both dumped him the day we finally spoke, and slowly became very good mates! I was her bridesmaid 3 years later...

Love this too!

@Zoolally loving yours too

@MillicentMartha who says they're happy? My ex and wife 2 try and make out they're happy to me, they forget/have forgotten we have mutual contacts in common and I hear the truth from them!

Examples not limited to but include:

Her dad lamping him for knocking up his daughter while still married and living with said wife and dd

Her mother telling her directly she was ashamed of her

His parents refusing to meet her until several months after 1st baby born

Both sets of parents faces like thunder mostly at their wedding

Her sister catching him cheating again and the sisters falling out because wife 2 wouldn't believe her

But to me they make out like they're a solid, happy committed couple 

So don't believe the PR!

@BunnyBoilerRhian you WILL get through this I promise sorry for how shit it is right now though

@sunnyzwei I used to work in the wedding industry, this happens more than people realise I'm afraid. Then those of us dealing with the wedding can end up deaing with scorned exes (not just women, men as women of course cheat too!) one woman was apparently engaged to 4 separate men at the same time! I don't know how the hell she had the time and energy! All came out because one fiances parents against her wishes (for obvious reasons( posted an engagement notice in the paper complete with photo of the 'happy couple'! The fiancé we thought was THE fiancé, his aunt saw it and basically then al hell broke loose! She was actively planning and paying for another wedding to another of the fiancés and I honestly believed she'd have committed bigamy if she hadn't been caught

I had just stated a new job a few days before Christmas working nights and I had noticed that he had been on WhatsApp but not speaking to me I knew there was something going on I went through his phone one night and found all the messages and dirty dick pics he had sent to the slapper she knew he was dating someone we had been together 10 months I slapped him in the face to wake him up called him a cheating twat told him to pack his shit and get out he had to phone his dad to come through and get him on the bus because he needed someone to pay for his bus ticket back. Twat thought that he could stay until news years day and then stage a fight with him I decided he could bounce on my birthday instead apparently he wasn’t happy and she just wanted to spend Christmas with him so I let her funny thing is he was back on the dating sites in the January so she didn’t want the dirty bastard either. I hope he gave her the gentile warts that he had she deserved it just as much as he did. Thankfully he never passed them on to me. I’m now happily married to my lovely DH. I don’t think it’s the first time I’ve ever been cheated on that was just the only time I had proof.

You’re all fantastic women who’ve unfortunately had poon hound men

@PandaBabyJuly
Photos of him shagging his fancy piece in a garage lock up. Bleugh🤢 what woman thinks a garage is a suitable location for sex. Unless you’re getting a quickie with the Lewis Hamilton or the F1 crew

I was 18 and we lived in a house share in the centre of town. He went out that night and come 4am still wasn’t home so for some unknown reason i decided to go and look for him?!!
We were due to rent a flat in town above a bar and we had the keys as we were painting/cleaning it (naive us). I thought I’d take a chance and try there. Walked in and his friends were there. Asked where he was and they said don’t know. As I turned around I saw his jacket on the side. Walked past them, into the bedroom and saw him and some random girl naked fucking.

I stupidly stayed with him for another year.

I am now happy and engaged and nearly 30 although I do still have trust issues because of that one arsehole.

@Pebbledashery I hope ours isn’t the same loser as that would probably mean you were long hair sparkly eyeshadow girl, who he married!

I’ll never understand it.
Surely if you’re at the stage where you’re cheating on your partner, (and planning to move in with the new girl!) you should have the guts to end your current relationship.
I tried to speak to him so many times and asked if he was happy. It was always pushed back on me.
He really did a number on my mental health. He gaslit me so badly I was seeing signs of cheating everywhere, but after a while began to believe some of it was in my head.
I can laugh about it now I’m married to a lovely man.

@Batfinklestein he sounds so nasty. Pure and simple. It's like they got some kind of pleasure to do it. My ex didn't want to be with me but he didn't want me to be happy with anyone else so was better just to keep me there stringing me along and throwing me a bone every now and then. I look back now and it was just all about control.. I'm happily single now just being mummy. The longer I'm single the longer it is I'm not subject to another abusive and unfaithful relationship. Glad you've found happiness though. Xx

Thanks @Pebbledashery I’m glad you’re happy too.
I do think he was keeping me there hanging on until he’d made up his mind to definitely decided to jump ship, like the rat he was!

First time (First guy) he didn't come home one night and switched his phone off so I couldn't contact him. The next day I finally got hold of him and he came right out and told me. Then she decided to contact me and mock me, telling me all the dirty details about how many times they had sex and where.

Second time (first guy) I went away to visit my family and he was being really cold with me. I asked him outright and he said he was seeing someone else. I got home to find he had chucked all my stuff in the spare room and her stuff was there. I moved out the next day.

Second guy was 5 days ago. I found out he'd been fucking his ex our whole 'relationship', almost a year. She turned up at my place when he was there asleep in my bed. She told me everything.

I heard them on alexa... no matter what anyone says about privacy i know she's got my back!

Please don't take this the wrong way, but these stories are making me feel less awful, less of the odd one out who what stupid and trusting and should've seen it coming.

VERY explicit sexting message landed on DS2's iPad (after some kind of Apple ID/family sharing SNAFU on H's part) which blew up a can of worms. He had been cheating on me for 4 years, must've started when DS4 was around 1 yo. I gave a 2nd change, 1 year of weekly relationship counselling (that's time and money I'll never get back ) and he moved out because of another OW some 3 years ago. Divorce imminent.

I heard them on alexa... no matter what anyone says about privacy i know she's got my back!

How’s that work?can you elaborate?

He used to go out to the car to take phone calls. For privacy. Yeah right. I kicked him out.

He sent me texts meant for her.

I was dating a guy who was a student in different city. His work do was held in a venue in that city. I decided to surprise him by turning up to the pub/club. Great raucous night, friendly folk, I’m thinking all going well.

I’m mingling and the Girl next to me, begins to tell me he’s shagged half the hospital, he’s doctor ShagALot basically. So here are all these other women all recalling their trysts with him. Then it comes up “hasn’t he got a girlfriend? “ No he said they split up? And they’re feeling sorry for the poor cow. She Must be a bit daft, etc

Anyway I make my presence know to him, challenge him. Bless him, he admits it all really blasé . As if yea? You see they were just inconsequential randoms. I ,dear readers, I was the one

Anyway i stayed in the pub/club as last transport home was well gone. Hung out with a brilliant set of nurses, they put me up for night, took me to a caff on morning for fry up. Gave me great advice. Off home I went

Me and him split up,obviously. No great drama to it. He genuinely could not see what my problem was
He’s still the same, a charismatic shagger who excels at his job

About 15 years ago I briefly dated a guy from work. Found out he had a girlfriend at Uni when he forwarded me a "joke" email that she had sent to him, but the silly twat had forgotten to remove their conversation from the bottom of the email before sending it on to me. Their conversation was about how much they missed each other and couldn't wait to see each other. I confronted him and he admitted he had a LT gf who was at Uni. I ended it, but he tried to start things up again a short while later.. left chocolates and flowers on my desk, sent me emails referring to how much he missed me and how amazing the sex was...

...I still had her email address from when he forwarded on her email joke. So I forwarded all these new pathetic emails on to her.
Unsurprisingly, they broke up, but later got back together. They had 2 DCs together and then separated again.

This thread is so so awful but amusing at the same time - the sheer amount of men that actually got caught cheating!! - goes to show how bloody stupid they are!! definitely not getting jobs in MI5 any time soon!